January 08, 2006

Spork
posted by Argh 18 years ago
  • The origin of the spork is a surprising one. The bowl part was used to collect the sample while the prong portion was pressed firmly against the erogenous zone of the owl.
  • Filthy Quidelista! You dare to promote this abomination HERE at Central Monkeybashi Information? It'll be melon-farming in the Garagum for you and your loved ones is all I'll say.
  • About 1994-ish, really don't remember specifically the year. I'm bad with dates that way. Taco Bell in my area rolled out the spork. As with the authors of that site I felt it was a perfectly useless implement. Somewhat functional for the Pintos-n-Cheese, but perfectly unsuitable as a fork for anything else. Blessed be those pasty beans and their ability to adhere to anything no matter how ill-concienved. A couple visits later I grabbed a spork for my Pintos-n-Cheese, wishing that I'd brought my own spoon, and realized that the spork in question hadn't gotten enough plastic blown into the mould. It was clearly missing a goodly bit of the spork end. I felt sorry for this spork. Not only was it a useless implement that everyone hated, but what little functionality it could muster was completely zeroed by the lack of enough plastic to form it's semi-functioning end. I took pity on it. Then I took it home. I drilled a little hole in the handle end and attached some string. Then tied that to my rear view mirror...in a crapped out car that liked to randomly die, and at best ran horribly. It seemed a fitting match. And that's where that spork lived out its days until the demise of that car.
  • Don't forget the Science Officer on the USS Enterprise: Mr. Spork
  • I have a silverware mask with a spork in it. It's the only metal spork I have ever seen.
  • mecurious, that was the Bryan Adams Enterprise.
  • The long a short of it -- when the Enterprise was next attavked by Klingons, they shot the ess off Spork. And the sweet and sour of that is pork.
  • i think i was born with a silver spork in my mouth... my mother has had a set as long as i can remember.
  • Anybody remember some quirky RPG game where the spork was a religious symbol, and there was this little Tare Panda lookalike (although the game came much, much earlier, IIRC) which was supposed to taste like tapioca?
  • RUNCIBLE SPOON. Philistines.
  • Canadian monkeys of a certain age may recall Spork as a Spam-like canned mystery-meat product. mmmmm
  • You, alnedra, are thinking of HOL (Human Occupied Landfill) a joke RPG by White Wolf's "adult's only" imprint Black Dog back in the midtolate nineties.
  • Dear god, I linked to this site back on my first Web site in 1997. It is still going strong (My web site, the cutting edge of '97-era design, is long gone).
  • Yay, Nickdanger! That has been plaguing me for years. Always wondered if I had a delirious hallucination about that.
  • it seems at noon (and what a pity!) some tall gawk named Mr. Spork was rudely mugged along with Captain Foon in New York City's Central Park -- their outlines have been drawn in chalk
  • I think they should make a normal fork with a cutting edge on the lower tine, because I think that would be good. Then you could dispense with the knife in the other hand and have a spoon, or whatever, teeny tiny shovel, for the stuff that needs it.
  • I remember seeing, years ago, the coolest set of flatware I've ever seen. It was in some art catalogue, I'm not sure of the name, but I remember that (other than the spoon, natch), it was completely flat -- IIRC, or at least, nearly so. The one thing that stood out was that the head of the knife was circular, instead of elongated, and had a serrated edge. Beautiful, minimal style.
  • If ye made the whole thing a somewhat larger, with longer tines and a long handle, ye'd have have a pitchspork.
  • but make it without an extraneous a.
  • but make it without an extraneous a. Quick! Throw it at Tracicle!
  • A b would fly away unless compelled to stay. In which case it would sting before taking wing.
  • You know muteboy, one can actually get titanium sporks. I got one for a friend's birthday (it wasn't the only gift, but hey.)
  • mct, what you had there sounds like a knifoon.
  • vampire slayer + spoon = buffoon
  • chicken + spoon = poltroon
  • fish + spoon = bassoon
  • Rastafarians + spoon = monsoon
  • silent Marx brother + spoon = harpoon
  • lightbulb + spoon = lampoon
  • fallen behind + spoon = lagoon
  • Moon's a balloon.
  • monkey *35 + teaspoon = festoon
  • Let's face it, it's tantamount to a cake fork. Spork me arse.
  • Owww,,,not literally
  • Pope + spoon = pontoon
  • Spork me arse = sparsed?
  • transgendered clothing + spoon = dragoon
  • Oh, and I can't believe nobody picked this up: Monkeyfilter: pressed firmly against the erogenous zone of the owl.
  • uncle + fork = uncork
  • booger getter + spoon = picay-ooon
  • mixed fresh vegetables + spoon = saloon
  • typhoid fever + spoon = typhoon
  • seven parts fork + one part spoon = octaroon
  • transport vehicle + spoon = cartoon
  • SPOONGUARD! (loud flash), by the man who brought you The Laibach Kittens and The Northern Kittens Do Elbow's Cover of "Independent Woman" (both also loud flash)
  • porcine + fork = pork?
  • Cheese knives = chives?
  • Standing fork = stork?
  • fork + oil = Southfork?
  • unnecessary expenditure of time and energy thinking up utensil-related humor = spoondoggle
  • Da Winnah! *ding!* *ding!*
  • cocaine + spoon = cocoon
  • one spoon + one spoon = dubloon
  • highland village in Scotch mist + spoon = Brigadoon
  • picture-taking widget + spoon = Cameroon
  • plate + spoon = platoon
  • cow + spoon = moooon
  • coconut+spoon=macaroon
  • Barbara Streisand + spoon = baboon
  • Quake + spoon = lagoon
  • dog + spoon = tycoon
  • o wot should I be doin' with Irish coffee plus a spoon? Warch me, ye'll see oyster, oyster, oyster
  • mammary endowment + spoon = raccoon
  • fractilid wins!