January 04, 2006
Middle ages?
You're soaking in them!
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Alrighty - so *where* are my friggin vassals?
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Ack, that's the problem with peasants: not only they are revolting, they are always revolting.
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When I loaded the page, the advertisement was for books on tape. Real big at the top it said DON'T READ. Funny.
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Yeah, why read when some guy in striped tights and a funny hat can come round and sing all the latest stories at you.
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I hate when that happens.
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By the way, one of the linked ads from the article goes here-- a real improvement on tinfoil hats I feel.
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I feel so temporarily modern.
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All you need to know in the New Middle Ages: The flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true. OTOH, the vessel with the pestle... I've forgotten it! RATS!
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/slips pellet with poison into chalice from palace
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/fills flagon with a dragon with a brew that is true
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/exchanges crafty glance with quidnunc
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/puts the willy that looks silly in the vagina of elizabeth regina
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/snorts coffee that is frothy on the keyboard with the cord
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/sneaks up behind the tosser with the Chaucer, sets off klaxon in Anglo-Saxon
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Wow, the middle ages really makes my skin feel soft. Smells good, too.
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/shaken by the klaxon, spills the goblet with the tablet
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/apprehends the varlets with the tablets, wipes the flagon with a fanion.
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/sees the varlet with a harlot, slaps his willy till he's silly
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Oh boy, all I have in my mind now are those pictures of some naughty RenFest attendees I once saw... out, devilish, pecaminous toughts, out!
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/catches up to the cup, drops a pill in like a villain...now just chillin' (feel free to fill in).
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/hands the chalice with the malice to the abbot with the habit
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/whispers: Pssst... the cider with a spider's for the prioress with a virus. The wankard with the tankard has the ale that is pale.
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/looks at platter: the cocaine that's in a line is for my darling clementine and the tablet of viagra's for the cleric from niagara
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Oh, no, Pallas, isn't the cider with the spider, the wine that's divine?? ...and the ale that is pale, the drink that stinks.
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Well Storyboard, I'd say for the drinkin' that is stinkin', you really need the whisky that is pissky or the rarely seen poitin. But the cider (says the spider) is the beer that brings cheer!
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But fifteen minutes later We had our first taste of whiskey There was uncles giving lectures On ancient Irish history The men all started telling jokes And the women they got frisky At five o'clock in the evening Every bastard there was piskey -- Shane McGowan, The Body of an American sorry, please continue
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*can't think of anything* * sings in loud off-key voice* "The terms! The terms!"