January 03, 2006

How to Hunt Deer with a 12 pound Howitzer Cannon
posted by waraw 18 years ago
  • Grapeshot is cheating!
  • Yeah, but it's a choice between that and reducing the deer to a bright red smear on the landscape. I find this a little more humane than shooting the poor thing, and track it down while it hobbles away, in pain and bleeding, until it collapses from its wounds.
  • [Bambi and his mother are eating grass; suddenly she stands in attention] Bambi's Mother: Bambi. Quick! The thicket! [they run; a gunshot is heard] Bambi's Mother: Faster! Faster, Bambi! Don't look back! Keep running! Keep running! [Gunshot is heard, then silence] Bambi: Mother? Mother? Great Prince of the Forest: Your mother can't be with you anymore.
  • [Bambi and his mother are eating grass; suddenly she stands in attention] Bambi's Mother: Bambi. Quick! The thicket! [they run; a gunshot is heard] Bambi's Mother: Faster! Faster, Bambi! Don't look back! Keep running! Keep running! [Huge fucking explosion is heard, then silence] Bambi: *wet gargly moan* Seriously, though, these people right up there with people who go fishing with dynamite. Stupid and sickening. even though cannons are really really cool...
  • heh, i love that the bambi v. godzilla page has a spoiler warning
  • Sounds like a good activity for the next X-day Phloighd.
  • Only in America.....
  • A minimum distance of 100 yards is a "must" for reasonable meat recovery. Just thought I'd repeat that line, for those of you who were planning on doing this. None of us want you to go through all that work just to see your target vaporized.
  • That dude has got to be, like, totally hung. 'Cause there ain't no compensation at work here folks.
  • Now all we need is people hunting deer in World War I biplanes, dropping bombs on them from above.
  • >I find this a little more humane than shooting the poor thing, Yeah. Of course, a real humanitarian would look for the little hoofyprint trails that the deer leave in the forest, and then lay down some claymores. I think that's what the SPCA recommends.
  • The only true way to test your manhood against a deer is to crouch on a branch over the deer trail. As the deer passes underneath, drop down with a knife clenched between your teeth. With one swift stroke, slit the throat of your prey. Best done on 6+ point bucks.
  • A *knife*? If the good lord meant for you to use a knife, he wouldn't a' put teeth in your head. Be a man.
  • crouch on a branch over the deer crouch on a branch over . . the deer? Aw crap! No wonder that couple was so pissed! Okay, okay - which way to the deers? I'm ready this time!
  • I prefer to hunt my deer via ICMBs.
  • Oh deer!
  • D'oe!
  • Argh, the puns! Whyyyyyyy?
  • Pretty fucking stupid. This is why the aliens don't make contact with us, you know.
  • As a friend of mine used to say, "I put corn down in the back yard to attract the deer, then shoot them. I would just use poisoned corn, but I'm in it for the sport." (He was kidding, btw.)
  • Don't buck the trend, Vertex! All the cool kids are punning!
  • Yeah, have a hart, enough with the puns.
  • can i fawningly say that these puns are a hartbreaking work of stag-gering genius?
  • MonkeyFilter: This is why the aliens don't make contact with us, you know. What's your point roryk? Hah? Haah? Wakka Wakka!
  • I'm not so sure... usually it's the hillbillies the aliens are visiting. Fire away.
  • Yeah, well, give an alien a choice between hillbillies with howitzers on the one hand and these puns on the other, and... I mean... it's really no choice at all.
  • That's begging the question. We really have no way of knowing what aliens think about puns. Aliens, by definition, may have an entirely different conception than we do of an expression in which two different applications of a word present a humourous jape. Some alien cultures may actively seek out and explore new plays on words, to boldly go where no equivocalities have.., & c. However, I feel certain that even very different intelligences than ours would not enjoy a fusilade of shot from a cannon.
  • C'mon now. Cannon is meant for people and people only. I mean, hell, how are you going to make anything but sausage out of that buck?? Deer sausage is great, but why automatically opt yourself out of the possibility of a nice roast? Think, dangit!
  • Fes, three words: Premade skewer holes.
  • So did anyone else follow the links to hunting feral cats with a civil war era Mortar? That was just a tad bit more disturbing than the Deer.
  • Oh stop.
  • Hmph. A bunch of game-deprived monkeys. For Christmas eve dinner I prepared a wildlife fondue using moosemeat and venison. Also a tangy cheddar cheese and beer one to compliment it. Truly delicious and I gave thanks to my brother and son-in-law who like to keep my freezer full of good things to eat. Now my daughter, who has an old shotgun, a cross bow and recently bought a Ruger 44 magnum deer rifle, seems more content to loan her guns to rewarding nephews for the day. Her husband is to never find out about the 'one that got away' when the bambi wandered by.