December 21, 2005

• Oh, them wacky judges!
• Wow.
• OPRAH? That's the secret word!!!
• It's hard to figure out who's crazier: The judge or the woman. "This is not the first time Letterman has been the subject of female fixation" Eh?
• He had a stalker who broke into his house a few times, if I remember correctly.
• "You want me to stay away? Done."
• What does it mean when he sticks his tongue between the gap in his teeth and makes weird noises until I feel uncomfortable? And can the judge make him stop?
• Margaret Ray. She's mentioned at the end of that article. More info: according to Rotten, "up to fifty other women have been known to think Dave speaks directly to them through the blue glow of their television." Anyone know if other TV hosts get this sort of attention?
• I think Ellen wants me.
• The comments on that site as almost as odd as the news. If they are to be trusted, one poster indicated that every temporary restraining order request is granted in New Mexico, under the idea that its necessity can be worked out in the interim.
• Jon Stweart said "underpants" once. I'd better start shopping for my trousseau.
• I represented the woman in this case. I don't think that the magistrate knew who Ben Affleck or Jennifer Lopez were. Perhaps Judge Sanchez does not know who David Letterman is. I can't really imagine why he would have signed that. Not only should the name "David Letterman" have raised a red flag, but I am pretty sure that the law in that state does not recognize telepathic stalking as a crime.
• That's why I always watch Letterman fully dressed nowadays. Once I was watching it in my loose pajamas and could clearly see how Dave kept staring at my crotch...
• Those people are seriously ill. Pfft - Letterman. Anybody with two brain cells to rub together can see it's Will Lee directing the troops, so to speak. you think his wearing shades is a coincidence? i think not!
• Schizophrenia can be treated. The state of the mental health care system in America is shameful.
• Will Lee kicks large bottom.
• Jay Leno. He's the perv. I'm TELLIN' ya!
• This is just sad. Also, how can any judge order that he not "think of" her? Maybe they can use some sort of mind control drug to stop him? I think that somebody should call in the man to adjust her tinfoil hat.
• There is this cartoon on Adult Swim called Stroker and Hoop where a person thought that Ron Howard was controlling her mind through an implant in her brain. Turns out he was. I'm just saying.
• You all remember what to do whenever anybody says the secret word right? Scream! That's right! For the rest of the day, whenever anybody says the secret word, scream real loud!
• Ironically, telling him to stop thinking about her will only make him think about her more often.
• I get a burning sensation in my ass whenever Bush speaks. Do you suppose I could get a restraining order?
• My late buddy, the Fish Man, used to say that Joe Williams sent him secret messages in songs on the Tonight show. And that cars with the letter K on the license plate were CIA out to track him. Once, when President Clinton was appearing about 40 miles from his house, the Men in Black (not Johnny Cash) came around asking questions about Fish Man. Gawd did that make him (even more) unbearable, since to him, it confirmed that they were after him. I don't think Letterman ever stalked him, though.
• Mmmhh... if only Melissa McDermott started mind-controlling me... ooohh yesssss...
• *SCREAMS!!* Wait, what was the secret word again?
• art vandal wins.
• This woman needs help. Bob Schieffer's been threatening to anal rape me for years. Do I whine about it to a judge? NO! I just wrapped the tv in aluminum foil and buried it in the yard beside all the pornographic letters Ed Mcmahon used to send me.
• MonkeyFilter: I get a burning sensation in my ass whenever Bush speaks
• dangit
• *pats petebest on the arm* There, there. Wait, you meant me, didn't you? That is your secret code for me. I knew it! Stop thinking about me! *screams*
• So did the judge misguidedly think that signing the order would help the woman? That seems like the only logical reason he'd sign.
• What really boggles my mind is that Letterman is actually fighting the order. WTF? Why would he want to give this story more publicity? Why would he want to acknowledge this at all? Unless of course he REALLY IS after this woman...
• *Dramatic musical sting!*
• Didn't someone say upthread that the order goes on Letterman's record? I'd fight it, I guess.
• I'd fight it, because not fighting it might make some think there was something to the allegation. Of course, those same people might also think that the toaster talks to them.
• "I will break their legs"