December 21, 2005

• In other news, Sharon Osbourne will have her recently enhanced breasts, reduced. That is all.
• The Beatles stuff is a real treat. Well I remember the excitement of a colored vinyl record! And the ones you could punch out of the back of a book. For years, I thought I had imagined that Star Wars Christmas special in some childhood fever dream. Then someone mentioned it on TV Land, and I was gobsmacked to find out it had been real.
• As long as the discarded Osbourne tittage doesn't want a music career or 'extreme sports' TV show, I wish her well, the bucket-faced screeching harpie.
• But back on topic - it pains me that I have never actually seen this Star Wars special. Was it ever actually shown in the UK?
• For years, I thought I had imagined that Star Wars Christmas special in some childhood fever dream. Holy Shit that was exactly my experience too - only I was "reminded" of it on the Internets. For the longest time I thought I'd dreamt it. Kit: with any luck, no.
• WTF...??!! now we're using the word "Christmas" again...? damn, I just got switched over to "Holiday"...
• Christmas, Holiday, "Life Day" - it's all good.
• Merry altered harvest festival appropriated from previous cultures signifying nothing but a arbitrarily chosen moment your species continued evolution in a godless universe!
• Okay that went too far. I demand satisfaction!
• "Happy Holidays" (plural) includes New Year's Day plus the midwinter observance of your choice.
• Me three. I have vivid memories of the Wookie family household, but nothing else. Someone later tried to convince me that I actually saw some SNL skit, but there's no chance of that having happened. Remembered the Wookies, but thought that it didn't make any sense at all, so it couldn't have been real. The odds of my having seen the original at the time of broadcast must have been astronomical, yet it happened -- and worse yet, I would have seen the Holiday Special before I saw the actual film. Ye gods.
• Now that had to be confusing.
• I was a confused child. Shocking, I know.
• The holiday special: *slightly* worse than Return of the Jedi. Slightly better than 'Kiss Meets The Phantom of the Park'. Ah, the disappointments of childhood...
• Oooh Stan, that's harsh. True, but harsh.
• To counter bad Christmas Specials, one need only watch Dave Foley's Christmas Special Special. Bing Crosby beating up David Boo-wie, Dave Thomas as Bob Hope as the Ghost of Christmas Specials Past, Mike Myers taking a money bath... Brilliant. Just as Blazing Saddles made it impossible to make a Western anymore, Foley fixed it so that this is the last Christmas Special possible.
• Yes, the SW Holiday Special was indeed shown in the UK circa 1978.
• I saw the SW Christmas special last New Year's Eve over at jccalhoun's place during a visit. It was long and strange, and I was not nearly chemically enhanced enough to enjoy it to its fullest potential. Then we watched Riki-Oh (aka Lik wong), which is pretty much the best movie ever.
• Then I caught the worst cold ever and had to drive home with a 102 fever. I blame Life Day.
• It's not wise to upset a Wookiee.
• My wife has been looking for those Beatles Christmas recordings for over fifteen years. On behalf of her, I extend my warmest holiday thanks to petebest. She was so elated that she even said it would be a sufficient Christmas present. Now I just have to see if that jewelry store offers full refunds.
• And, incidentally, I am very not surprised that chyren knows that there are two e's in Wookiee. It is one of the countless reasons I have great respect for him (okay, not countless -- there are six).
• I'm seeing this all over, but what I really want is something I heard on the radio and have had no success tracking down. They were Beatles Christmas songs - one was We Three Kings with George singing and a sitar. The other was, I believe, Santa Claus is Coming to Town. That may have been a mash-up, as the music was "When I'm 64" and some other songs, but it really sounded like the Beatles singing. I've written to the radio station I heard the song on, but got no response. Anyone have any ideas where I can find these songs?
• Jedi's not that bad. It does have biker scouts, after all.
• Mr. Koko found the Star Wars Christmas Special on DVD on ebay, and unfortunately, bought it. I'm sure there are still copies of it out there, but I wouldn't recommend looking for one. Except our copy included the original trailers from The Empire Strikes Back and Revenge of the Jedi, so it was almost worth it.
• Lucas was so disgusted by the Star Wars Holiday Special that he made a concerted effort to buy up all the master tapes in existence. Apparently, he was fairly successful, but my brother and I were able to see a copy that had been collecting dust at the celebrated Library of Congress, which George was unable to barge into and steal. And yes, it is bad, so very bad, so very very very very bad. (The SW Holiday Special that is. The Library of Congress is not only the bee's knees, but the entire hive).
• Oh sure, no I get it - Mr. Koko this and Mr. Koko that! Can a guy enjoy some sexy posts without having Mr. dragged into everything!? Sheesh it's like you're married or something!
• Gary Krimble!
• On starwarsholidayspecial.com, co-writer Bruce Vilanch is quoted as saying: Bruce: It was hilarious. It was between "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back" and George Lucas wanted to keep the flame alive. It's hysterically bad. I just saw it. I got it from a collector. I didn't realize how poor. I worked on it with George. That's how I got to know him. And he pulled the story out of the vault. It was like "Episode 32" of the saga, and it was the one that was set on the planet of the Wookiees, and the Wookiees were the central characters. Unfortunately all the Wookiees look like me and sound like fat people having orgasms. So, they're tough to write for. Every line of dialogue is 'oh, ee, ahh'. How do you write that? The Wookiees can't speak, but the Wookiees were the central characters. So I said, 'well we have to load this up with stars who sing and dance and do schtick to cover up that the story is about these walking carpets. It was one nightmare after another, but it's a very funny show. At the Cantina on Tatooine, Bea Arthur is the bargirl. To give you some idea what the show is like. Jefferson Starship is on it. Carrie Fisher sings something. It was Thanksgiving.
• Slightly better than 'Kiss Meets The Phantom of the Park'. Oooww crap. This memory just came out of the blue (not that one): a young, snotty Flagpole, at the premiere of that blasted film. The theater, a monkeyhouse... literally, as there was one guy with a little monkey, right in the seat in front of me. A small grinning monkey, with a lashed collar. Who the heck takes a monkey to a film?!? And yes, also have vague, hazy memories of that SW special. Luckily the flashbacks aren't that common now.
• For some reason I didn't watch the Star Wars Holiday Special back when it originally came on, but I clearly remember watching the horrendous Kiss Meets the Phantom back in '78. Anyway, I finally saw the Star Wars Holiday Special last year after downloading it off BitTorrent. What can I say? It's stunningly awful: Wookiees chattering and groaning on for god knows how long, bad human dialog, terrible songs, etc. It's the sort of thing that needs to be tracked down and watched--once.
• Of course some of this shit is on YouTube. Bea Arthur: Cantina Wench The cartoon Princess Leia Sings!
• I so so so want to find a copy of this for a X-mas present. I've got a friend (i do *sob* I really really do *sob sob*) who's a big time Star Wars fan. This would make such an awesome present!
• Youtube had a copy of the whole thing up verrrrrrry briefly a few months back, but it got C&D'ed pretty quick and was shit video quality anyway. I bet ebay would come up with copies on occasion. You can find copies of "Song of the South," Disney's tribute to racism, on there.
• Boo-ya.
• Holy rotoscoped, Speed-Racer’d, LSD-and-Capn’-Crunch-induced childhood flashback, Batman! I had no idea how much of that cartoon had been imprinted on my tender childhood subconscious. Especially the impossibly fluid, more-like-jelly-than-droid movements of the droids - note Threepio’s goosenecked head and fey contrapposto. I kept expecting his neck to do that in the film sequels, and wondering where I had gotten that idea from. I wish the poster had left the original commercials in - that would’ve been sweet. Mothra bless YouTube for that.
• We've got a mailing list for people who are well convinced they dreamed the special as a wee tot until they saw pictures and video on teh Internets - proof that such thing actually existed, TUM. Shall we add you?
• 1979 - STAR WARS Drunk Driving PSA Commercial