That would be just about the most horrible way to go - toyed with by a big cat. No hope of escape.
I've always thought that meeting your doom at the paws / claws of some mega fauna would be an OK way to go. Full of life lessons for those left behind...
I guess this is why "Les Mis" was set in France and not South Africa, right?
Well, a crocodile would be okay, or a shark or a bear, but something that just wanted to spend hours tossing you around the livingroom every time you so much as bat an eye? Ick.
Eeahh! Kit! Yer link's bust!
The tiger's still serving life with no hope of release though. Some justice.
A gorilla known as Max became a national hero in 1997, when he confronted a thief who jumped into his enclosure while being pursued by police.
Max, who died in his sleep last year, bit the hapless intruder on the buttocks and kept him pinned to a wall, despite being hit by two bullets.
Allright Hamilton!!
/Spicoli
-- We think it's a tiger.
-- In Africa?
-- Shh, shh...
I've got a top hat that lights up and says "Lion Tamer" right across it.
Fantastic! The job's yours. When can you start?
Well, if he'd gone to prison he probably would have still been attacked by someone in a striped suit.
I'm going to heck for that one, aren't I?
At least the tiger didn't take his ciggies then bugger him in the shower.
You don't know that!
yeah, they said the tiger'd been fed, but that doesn't mean he wasn't horny!!
So did they put the tiger to sleep? That's what would happen here.
JERRY
It's like when I think of dying. You know how I would like to die?
YOUNGER ANNIE
No, how?
JERRY
I'd like to get torn apart by wild animals.
ALVY'S VOICE
Heavy! Eaten by some squirrels.
You push the button on the bomb, and you and the lion die like one!
I've dreamed of getting pinned and bitten by lions and dogs. More than horrified, I felt angry: 'Let go of me you damned animal!!'
Generally, Mr Knickerbocker, if the death was caused by the victim's own misadventure, or to put it another way, his own illegal actions (you're not actually allowed to enter a tiger's pen and taunt the bastards) the animal would *not* be put down at all.
There are many cases in UK and US where people have jumped into enclosures and been mauled to death and the animals have been left alone. It's when the animals attack a keeper in an unusual show of aggression that they are deemed too unstable to keep around. Even the tiger that mauled Roy Horn or whatever his name is, on stage, still lives.
As they should, Chy, as they should.
Idjut didn't think of hiding with a herbavore, now did he?
I'm reminded of that scene in American Werewolf in London when the protagonist wakes up nude in the wolf pen in London Zoo.
DO NOT TAUNT THE HAPPY FUN TIGER BALL
I am sorry for this person. So, he was (allegedly) a violent thief. If so, he deserves serious punishment. If he'd been caught, he would have gone to jail. Maybe. Probably. Possibly for a long time. If he wasn't HIV+ before going into a South African jail, he probably would be when he came out. So, he climbed into a zoo.
He was hoping for penguins. He got tigers.
The saddest thing is, many poor people in South Africa turn to crime. More don't. Around 30% of poor people have HIV. In prison, over 70% have HIV.
So, he was a mugger. There are appropriate punishments. Is it better to die of AIDS in prison, or be killed by a tiger so rude it doesn't even eat you?
Being slain by the tiger wasn't punishment for being a mugger. It was punishment for being stupid.
Uncle Darwin and his Double-Barreled Evolver play for keeps.
Yeah. I don't feel sorry for this clown at all. Of ALL the places to hide....I hope the people he just mugged got ring-side seats...
That's how I want to go, actually. Either mauled by a tiger, or savaged by hedgehogs.
Sorry, all we can get you is savaged by a tiger and mauled by hedgehogs. It's a quality mauling mind.
Hmm...let me do some calculations and get back to you.
I can get you a bit of a gumming from a toothless marmoset. Or a swarming by a hoard of killer frogs. Cheap.
How about a bucket of cross minnows?
hot cross minnows
stuck in a bucket
featherless as birds
that are well plucked
grouchy as men
with armaments and laws
they can nip between
the tiger's claws
Beeswacky threads have been showing up for the last twoof days, and it's so cool. I do miss that sweet and poetic guy. Also, those who have signed up in the last couple of years might want to search for his comments to get an idea of his contributions.
Someone once said "Beeswacky is Monkeyfilter." I think that's true. He kind of civilized us apes.
*always misses the bees...*
The implication being that we need civilizing.
Harrumph!
*picks nose*
*eats it*
TIGERBALL