December 09, 2005

• this should be an interesting thread. it seems to me that opinions on either side of this camp can be as impassioned as the endless clashes between mac users vs. pc users, or hatfields vs. mccoys... as a "young, swinging monkette" myself, I am in the less-is-more camp, personally. I dont think mt. baldy is ever necessary, altho you may find the look-n-feel of that option quite appealing. I am a big fan of what I call the "manicured parkland" look (as opposed to the "wild jungle" look or "the parking lot" aka mt. baldy) there are esthetic considerations, of course. there are also pragmatic considerations. I think that a well-trimmed lawn is much more user friendly but you do want to keep in mind the maintenance committment. I HIGHLY recommend an electric razor, with a hair trimmer attachment (not the norelco triangle of circles kind) like the braun varieties. they tend to run from $80-$150 and are easily acquired at places like Macy's. mr. medusa and I swear by ours.
• After spending the last several decades grudgingly shaving my legs and armpits because I felt pressured to by society, I cannot imagine ever suggesting to someone that they trim their pubes. It's just fur, it's supposed to grow there. Meh.
• I would like to put forth the suggestion that people should just let the goddam grass grow where it will.
• I get your point fish tick...but there are certain places you really don't want to have hair long enough to pull. For both sexes, the "manicured parkland" is best.
• Yah, a braun trimmer with the adjustable trim head does the job nicely. Its a much nicer feel to have a "manicured parkland" rather than well, remember the bedroom scene from "scary movie" where he removes the girls underwear...yeah, yam afro. Mrs. Sock has said she enjoys it too. Its nice to know that after all the stuff they shave,pluck,wax etc..., that the Mr. takes care of his areas also. Not to short so that it is prickley for her and itchy for you though. Were talking fairway, not putting green.
• Yeah, trim things back a bit, all around, but don't go all scorched earth.
• Shaving does bring certain areas more comfortably into play...to be blunt, if you want the ladies to lick the boys, make sure she isn't getting your hedge up her nose. And, of course, shaving visually gives you an extra inch...
• Screw that. If someoen is getting to see what it looks like down there, they are already mentally committed to some sort of activity. If someone is going to stop because there is too much hair, they probably wouldn't be the kind of person that I could put up with long enough to show them my junk. I think that body hair issues are just about the stupidest thing in modern society. i don't care if women groom their body hair, so why should they care if I groom mine? Hell, they are lucky if I shower more than once a week!
• My opinion about male body hair in a nutshell: No fur on the back, or on the ass, please. Wax if necessary. More generally, I find guys who are overly fussy about their appearance a slight turn-off; a guy who spends more time on his appearance is not for me. That rules out the carefully gelled, blow-dryed and/or ruffled hair, and the studiously elaborate facial hair. Overly manicured pubes would definitely fall into this category.
• those of us who, um, how shall i put this, share certain hirsuteness characteristics with our simian relatives, have a problem with pubic hair maintenance. once you start trimming, or shaving, it's difficult to know where on the body to stop. should i just go as far as the first part of the quadriceps, creating a little bald/trimmed island? should i do the entire thigh? but won't that make my shins and calves look very odd? what about above? should i shave my belly? sheesh, just hold me by the ears and dip me in wax.
• Three cheers for fuzzy menfolk! As long as they don't have fuzzy brains. I'm all for cerebellum-waxing.
• You know, roryk, just yesterday I asked my wife the same question: Once you start taking it down to bare skin, how do you know where to stop? I mean, I'm not really a hairy person, but like many men I do have leg hair and some hair on the tummy area. I was of the impression that a bald patch in the middle of that would look pretty strange. I don't see keeping the hedges trimmed as a bad thing. As mj said, it makes the *ahem* trees look taller. A female friend of mine once summed it up this way (after several beers): "If I have to shave, wax, trim, etc. to be attractive, the least a guy can do is keep the pubes trimmed. I won't give head for a guy who has a big furry patch of pubes." (About two or three minutes later she also confessed that her husband wasn't using the hedge trimmers. So, too much information there, thanks to the beer, but it was damn funny.)
• "Does the carpet match the curtains?" "Dude, hardwood floors." I trim, and I'm lucky as I'm a fairly hairless guy to begin with.
• Unless you need to keep it braided or such, I wouldn't worry too much. A simple trim at the edges, just to keep everything pleasingly symmetrical, off with too-long strands, and that's it. Once contemplated the idea of a full wax. After some unscientific test involving leg hair and such, decided I'm too much of a wussy for that.
• I'm with MJ - the less hair there, the more attention and time I'll spend there. I have this unfortunate thing that hair, eyelashes, you name it, get into my eyes all the time - you would think my eyelids don't function or something. And neither of us likes to have that unpleasant pube/throat tickle.
• Monkeyfilter; visually gives you an extra inch
• I'm serious about the pubes up the nose thing. It's a real mood killer. Also, as cobaltnine pointed out, gagging on stray pubes while trying to concentrate on giving some great head can hardly be conducive to total time spent. I discuss the issue all the time with clients, and if they shave, they tell me A. they feel more sensation because it's not blunted by thatch and B. they get to see more of the action when the lady monkey is snortin' and a-slippin' down there. Essentially, I've found the clients that shave or trim closely are much more aware of their own sexuality and eroticism in general. They're in fightin' trim, so to speak.
• I'm hairy so I've the same issue as roryk: where, arbitrarily, do I stop? Whatever I trim or shave is going to look like a parking lot in the middle of the forest. How big do you want the parking lot? Navel to thigh? Knees to nipples? It's going to look silly regardless. And if you can't handle body hair you're not going to be interested in me anyway (nor I, therefore, in you) so what's the point?
• You sick fucks.
• *sniffle*
• Could always go the route of an good friend of mine...kid once got drunk and had a discussion with a lady about this. She mentioned she liked the "scorched earth" look and he took it literally. I've never heard such screams of pain...
• The one time a shaves everything (also my butt crack) I remember the 'between-the-cheeks-chaving was so bad (just from accumulated sweat and the stubble) that I couldn't walk for a couple of weeks. But I have tight buttocks so YMMV. Never again will I do the shaving thing though. But I don't have much pubic hair so it's not necessary.
• a shaves -> I shaved
• Hirsute monkeys, there seem to be two schools of thought on this issue. The first is to present a pleasing sight, by keeping the lawn well-manicured. The second is strictly functional. Put delicately, maybe you don't have the right kind of terrain for a nice, orderly English garden. Maybe you have a vast, thick tropical jungle, and no one can tell where the lawn ends and the jungle begins. But you can (and perhaps should) get in there with a weed whacker and clear out a path to the street. Put bluntly, forget about the trimming and shaping. Just mow it down enough so that your partner can breathe. Say, a 4-6 inch radius from the focal point. Don't worry if it looks a little funny to you at first - you'll get used to it, and it's not about looks, anyway.
• Personally, I've got no problem with body hair (facial hair is a different story) so my concerns are mainly of the practical variety. As far as the where does it stop and start question, I'm thinking, why not simply trim a little from along the treasure trail if it's bushy rather than flat to the skin and along your inner thighs, which in my experience are rather less forested that the fronts until you are right around the boys, and then shave or more closely trim 3 or so inches in all directions? Try thinking of it as more of a frame for your wonderful junk, rather than a parking lot. Being able to see your junk really is a nice thing, and so many men are weed-whacking these days you're not likely to surprise anyone :)
• My opinion is that a trimming to even it up is all that's needed in most cases. If your ball hair has that super-stinky trapped-stale-sweat-stench soaked in that some guys unfortunately get, I'd be more in favor of drastic measures, because that funk is gross, but that's my extreme example. Don't shave balls straight up because the prickles when it grows back is some NASTY carpet burn during the deed. IME of course. I highly prefer gently-assisted naturalness all around. I don't love a real pelt of body hair and if it's that bad by all means tame it back, but some light patches of hair on the ass or back don't bother me, and neither do a furry chest or belly or legs. In fact the only hairiness that regularly bugs me is pit hair. If I'm cuddling up to a guy that's taller than me that means nose to the pit hair, which traps the sweat smell, and it's all stale and it's funky-not-in-a-good-way; see ref. to ball sweat stench above. However, it doesn't bother me so much that it's a dealbreaker, since I have been plenty attracted to members of either sex that didn't shave pits. My personal preference is bare pits, though, and I find many guys don't consider it. I do automatically think a guy that shaves/trims it way back has less confidence in his unit since it's supposed to make it look bigger with less hair - a guy that primped is more high-maintenance than I am, so would probably not be my type. Also it's too slick and swingin' bachelor to my taste. That's just me though, but other people love that look and don't make those associations, so I guess it depends on the type of person you want to attract. In fact probably the best measure of how far you should trim is deciding what level of bush is most attractive to you on your partner, then doing a similar amount of bushwhacking on your own.
• I second what Ambrosia says about overly manicured guys. My experience is that guys who spend a whole lot of time on their own looks may be more aware of their sexuality, but that doesn't mean they're more aware of mine. ;-) I am not that young or swinging, but I do enjoy giving BJs, and au naturel has worked fine for the not-amazingly-hairy guys I've been with. YMMV, my $0.02, etc.
• Wait, you're saying you don't like super-stinky trapped-stale-sweat-stench soaked ball hair?
• Too much info!
• lightly trimmed. Regular shampooing and conditioning. Keeps it clean and soft. of course, there is nothing wrong with pulling out the mustache wax and making handlebars...
• I trim a bit for practical reasons (cleanliness, mainly) with scissors. I am also a very hairy man, so if I don't I grow earlocks on either side of my purple-helmeted warrior. Seriously, does anyone else have that problem? It is either trim or buy the little guy a yarmulke.
• Man, I hope Quidnunc comes back soon. The threads are pregnant with promise! Pregnant I tells ya! *checks with binoculars* *sighs, slugs bourbon*
• Personally, I like the Full Body Mohawk, extending upward from your ass crack hair, incorporating your proudly stiffened Man Stick, continuing up the treasure trail, chest hair, neck hair, facial hair, naturally, your head hair, then incorporating neck, back and ass hair until a complete vertical circumnavigation is attained. One uses wax in different ways to accomplish such a desirable state; namely a full body wax on every single hair not mohawked, and moustache wax to achieve the proper height and direction of your FuBoMo. Extra points for Liberty spikes.
• I keep myself nicely trimmed so that others don't end up flossing when they're playing around down there, and I appreciate it when my partner does the same. I don't like the bald look -- I think it looks awfully pre-pubescent, and I'm sooo not into that -- but a nice trim-down is a good thing. It's not a deal breaker, though. Bad hygiene is definitely a turn-off, though. I don't deal well with stank. Clean and hairy is better than stinky and trimmed.
• *picturing Liberty spikes, giggling*
• Does Manic Panic rub off?
• It's a lot more fun to maintain if you get some help too (~^)
• Absolutely! You can do it in public and raise funds for charities like those wacky car washes!
• 1) I keep myself clean and reasonably weeded, but... you monkeys with your tales of jungles and gagging partners have put me in a state of heightened self-awareness regarding 'private hair'. If this interferes with future HotMonkeySex performance in a negative way, a curse will be cast upon all your hairy backs, you... apes. 2) Yeah, a stray pube in the back of the throat can be a very nasty thing. AAaaacck. 3) If I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming from some FuBoMo nightmare, you'll have to come, tuck me and sing some lullaby until I'm sleeping like a baby, MJ. Sheeez.
• More power to those who are comfortable with their hirsuteness. Me, I'm pretty hairy and okay with that. But discovering manscaping turned out to be a much more pleasant thing than I'd realized it would be. Neatly trimmed but not bristly, as others have said. I like the way it looks, not so much like the cast of "Welcome Back Kotter," and I'm sure Mrs. Tool appreciates not having to wade through the heavy brush to get to the good picnic. I think others have mentioned this, but definitely use a lower-powered beard trimmer and not big ol' powerful professional hair clippers to do the job. Much less chance of cutting yourself that way. Also -- how to put this delicately? The twins, if you decide to shave 'em smooth, will tend to get a bit clingy when you sweat. It'll be summertime, you'll be freshly shorn like a spring lamb, and you'll decide to drive out to the local farmer's market to pick up some zucchini so you can make some of your Grandma's famous zucchini bread. You'll get out of the car into that 95 degree heat, and with your first step, you'll be greeted with the sound and sensation of duct tape being pulled off of a naugahyde recliner. Doesn't hurt, but it feels wrong somehow.
• 
• FuBoMo is the new black.
• So this isn't the thread to offer great deals on a wall-to-wall fitted merkin?
• One is aghast that one had not previously addressed, or even considered the importance of this aspect of one's personal presentation. Swallows 3 Valium!
• Neatly trimmed and shampooed often, please. Back and ass hair is just ew... my apologies to the more hiruste male monkeys, but the worst thing to me? Men who's beards grow nearly up to the bottom of their eyes, and down the sides of their necks. "Growing a beard" does not equal "Whee! I never have to touch a razor again!" I sympathize with Melinka. There's nothing quite like rolling over in bed into pit hair.
• No way I'd use a depilatory like Nair or Nads (snicker). That's too much like putting Agent Orange on your junk for my comfort.
• Don't knock it til you try it.
• *High fives VeraGemini!* Exibit A. Anything that can make Brad Pitt look like the ass end of a mangy german shepherd is a very unsexy thing indeed. Indie band guys used to be hot. Now they all look like the weirdo uncle kept locked in the cellar. This is a hideous turn of events.
• But wouldn't something that could make the ass end of a mangy german shepard look like Brad Pitt be very sexy? Exhibit B.
• For the record: unmowed <> unwashed. Keep it clean whether or not you shave or trim. And ew, Nair. I won't even use that on my legs. No way would I ask a man to put even the bikini line version on his bells and whistle.
• HA! Finally... Won't someone think of the children? Also; WTF?
• Heh... manscaping.
• If you decide to bic the kids get yourself some blue star or baby powder. Blue star tingles, which throws some people off at first, but I find that its quite comfortable and smells pleasant if you don't over do it.
• MonkeyFilter: I find that its quite comfortable and smells pleasant if you don't over do it.
• There's a buggery joke in there somewhere but I ain't bitin'.
• OMG WASH wrong with us? See how we make the ladies fuss! Hair sprouts from our nostrils and our ears and shags our chests, and down our spinal column crests. When pits reek like a lion's beard no wonder the fair sex grow afeared! No wonder they call for soaps and hoses and pin clothespegs on their delicate noses.
• Philips introduces the Bodygroom all-over shaver (Warning: Plenty O'Flash). Not everyone thinks it's a great idea, but whatever. Obviously, a market exists.
• MonkeyFilter: ...don’t you hate it when you’re buck naked at the church barbecue with an embarrassing mullet in between your legs?
• Personally, it's those moments I live for.
• > Philips introduces the Bodygroom all-over shaver The two kiwi fruit is lolol.
• Four words you never want to hear together: "disastrous Brazilian bikini wax".
• Dang, you're quick Capt!
• That's what kit said, too!
• But smooth like apple!
• Golden delicious, baby. I should work on that 'golden' though. Aim better.
• Crunchy and juicy!