December 08, 2005

Big Brains Mean Tiny Testicles Ya rly. You may begin the Quality vs. Quantity debate.... now.
posted by six.oh.six 18 years ago
  • Hmmmm. I am sure I am no genius, but various aptitude tests in my youth suggested that I was well above average. And I have a walk-in freezer in my garage that is home to the proof of the other part of the equation.
  • you're a eunuch?
  • Well, I have a big brain and big dong. So there.
  • No, no, no. That is where I keep my sperm.
  • Wow, maybe Hitler really was a genius.
  • Can't you compensate for caliber with rate-of-fire?
  • I have never before been self-conscious about the size of my testicles. Thank you, six.oh.six, for introducing a new and interesting parameter of paranoia to my life. No rly.
  • Ah the nerd/jock debate eh? Someone go resuscitate quidnunc and get him in here. This is his thread.
  • My brain? But it's my second-favourite organ... Odd how evolution produced such a counter-intuitive result.
  • This is patently not true. I am the undiscovered genius of the century, yet churn out spermatazoa like they're going out of fashion. I will regret this comment once I sober up. Also, where IS quid, our beloved?
  • Just 'cause it's true in bats, does that make it true in humans? Surely apes would be a better test group. Also, if this is true, doesn't that mean that the less brains, the more likely to be able to reproduce (and vice versa), resulting in an ever-less-brainy society until all of human men are just testicles with eyes?
  • 1. I don't see how they're extrapolating a bat study to humans. 2. Wealth = small brains. This is suggested by AC/DC, who said "I'm upper upper class high society" and "I've got big balls, I've got big balls". The song also suggests he's got the biggest balls of them all.
  • *cough* bullshit *cough*
  • (that was in reply to the study, not to any of the comments here, of which I am blissfully unaware of the veracity of)
  • And crabs.
  • I mean yes, if you're on a restricted calorie diet, an animal will prioritize some things over others. Thats just the economy of life. Now how many people men in the first world are so short on calories that they can't afford to think AND produce sperm? I hate it when media takes a scientific paper on bats and groundlessly extrapolates it to says "See, thats why, hahaha, virile men are stupid."
  • well my husband is smart and he has big bawlz...(and a matching schlong, not that yz wanted to know that!!!!!!)
  • *suddenly wondering if his bawlz and his schlong match*
  • MonkeyFilter: Our husbands have matching schlongs!
  • *goes off to join planetthoughtful in his paranoia*
  • Also, where IS quid, our beloved? In Africa, chasing elephants. No, really. Well, sort of.
  • Also, NO TESTICLES = HUGE BRAIN!!! /obvious
  • ?que?
  • Obligatory old "size only matters from one person's perspective" joke: A couple are about to have sex for the first time and are in the bedroom, getting undressed. The woman turns to look at the man, who is now naked, and sees that he has an extremely small dangly bit. A sensitive woman at heart, she does her best to hide her amusement and dismay, but finally gives in and says with a derisive laugh, "Oh my god, who the hell do you hope to please with that?!" The man looks down at his small appendage, and then back at the woman, and says: "Me."
  • Koko -- you're going to have to explain that. Some of us are pretty dumb on account of their ginormous, hefty, pendulous balwz.
  • What a quidnunc does on his vacation If he was here, I'm certain he would have something to say about his testicles, but I really don't want to speculate what that might be.
  • Not true. I am very intelligent, and one friend once described my balls as "one big pair of pork chops."
  • So he's looking for elephant shit? Sounds pretty dumb.
  • Which is now a compliment.
  • So nothing on brain size and tentacles, then?
  • Two random comments before I settle in to work: this says nothing about brain/ball size within a species. And they may be misreading causation regarding female promiscuity: maybe it takes more brains, and less balls, to deal with a monogamous relationship: brains to make it work ("species in which the female is guarded by a single partner"), and less sperm required to ensure you're the one doing the impregnating.
  • Uh, I . . . are we gonna talk about boobies now?
  • Also, NO TESTICLES = HUGE BRAIN!!! *snort* A feminist friend of mine got a huge kick out of that. Also, who cares? If you can pleasure a woman, it dosen't really matter how large or small you are. I never did quite get the whole guy argument over size. *shakes head* (Yes, I am male)
  • I vote for KOKO!!!!!
  • with my huge testicle-free brain
  • Ya, you got the balls but the question this article doesn't answer is: can you juggle them?
  • people think it's easy having testicles in one's brain - but it's not y'know. People expect so much . . . Koko - excellent, His Hole-iness Quidnunc moves up another notch in the ol' bookeroo. Medusa, what are we voting for? Cause normally I'd vote for Koko too, but that bunny picture . . y'know that ain't right . .
  • bernockle wrote: "No, no, no. That is where I keep my sperm." But that's all owl sperm. Doesn't count (unless you're an owl). Koko wrote: "Also, NO TESTICLES = HUGE BRAIN!!! /obvious" Um... no, not so much. It's much costlier in evolutionary terms to make eggs than it is to make sperm. Even if they start out the same size and cost, thanks to the mechanics of meiosis you end up with 4 sperm for the price of 1 egg. fractalid wrote: "...this says nothing about brain/ball size within a species." Exactly! Humans have relatively small balls for our body size. (See this squirrel if you don't believe me.) Which means that instead of showing off with large dangly nut-sacks we're spending our energy defending our mates, thus smaller balls but less promiscuity.
  • That squirrel is henceforth nicknamed "Speedbag."
  • store those nuts, little guy!
  • petebest, I voted for KOKO before I saw that bunny pic. I am now spearheading the recall campaign (sorry koko but I like my bunnies with fur!) n really big bawlz heh heh heh
  • ♫♪ Well Sloppy Sue, and Big Bawlz Bunny they were comin' up for air . .♪♫
  • That's ok, I wouldn't vote for me either.
  • Pete- I was saddened to learn a few years ago that it's actually "big bones Billy." A piece of my youth died that day.
  • GeeeeeEEEDOuddaheah!! Nah, can't be.
  • FINALLY, I've figured out where I got the nickname 'Ol Squirrel Balls.
  • Koko rules: NO TESTICLES = HUGE BRAIN!!! I'm amazed that one half the human population has a total obsession with the size of their privates. And when they aren't obsessing with their own, they worry about other critters'.
  • pete: i wont link to it due to the preponderance of popups and spyware on lyrics sites, but go ahead and google it and see...
  • Bollocks.
  • Am I the only one that's aware that craniometrics has been thrown out the window long ago or is everyone just joking around? Size of brain doesn't correlate intelligence: Modern human beings have a range of cranial capacity from about 850cc's (relative to an extremely large gorilla brain) to about 1750cc's. Anatole France had a cranial capacity estimated at 1100cc's. Average size for modern humans is about 1450cc's. Broca's conceptions of brain size and intelligence were pretty racist. But, a bigger brain certainly does pull a lot of resources to maintain. Neanderthals had a range of about 1200-1750cc's and cave art doesn't appear until after they disappear (~35,000BP). Women have smaller cranial capacities than men but you've got to remember that proportion is important to size. Strict adherence to these kinds of absolutes lead to some serious misuses of statistics. The important thing in brains is complexity and proportion to body. Elephants have much less complexity in their much larger brains. The majority of the mass of their grey matter is devoted to motor and sensory functions (for their much larger neural networks) rather than "higher" functions like figuring out which tie or shoes to wear tomorrow. I'll bet Anatole France had stones like monkey fists and Broca thought he had a big dick only because his nuts were so small.
  • Clearly you're insecure because of your large brain.
  • I didn't understand any of that, and I think you know what THAT means... *nods, winks* Enh? ENH?
  • I canna fathom what ye're on aboot.
  • The Chimp's lecture. Didn't grasp.
  • Does that mean I don't have to consult my phrenology manual before accepting dates anymore? 'Cause it's kind of a mood-killer.
  • 'twouldn't be polite to grasp, Capt., even if you had anything TO grasp.
  • *hides from the spectre of Capt. Renault's large cranium*
  • I just looked at the post and saw it broken into two parts: Big Brains Mean Tiny Testicles Mean Tiny Testicles? What could they do to you?
  • Take away the remote control?
  • What does it mean if you have three medium-sized testicles? Just, ah, curious.
  • Does that mean I don't have to consult my phrenology manual before accepting dates anymore? Insead, look in his fridge for a missing cucumber. Mean Tiny Testicles refuse to descend and will hoard all your monies from sperm bank donation. That is, hoard your... uh... teste-monies. They're like squirrels with... y'know... ... crack.
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