December 02, 2005

Angry squirrels are out for revenge! In other weird animal news, one kitty takes a solo trip to France, while another cat just made it to the sewer.

Finally, scientists may have cured cow flatulence.

posted by meredithea 19 years ago
  • Woah. I've never seen black squirrels before. They must be vicious.
  • There was this thing going round recently about the crack-addicted squirrels, and I dismissed it, because, you know, it's completely fucking stupid. But I was reading about it again somewhere online the other day, deriding it, then I had to go take a crap right after that, and in my loo I keep old copies of Fortean Times. So I'm opening the pod bay doors Hal, and I pick up an old copy to flip thru, the issue is 10 years old, and the first little article I come to is about squirrels eating crack that crackheads secrete in central park. I react: wtf? Not only is it synchronicity, it's in FT of all places which delights in such coincidences, and it also shows that the crack squirrel trope has been going around for at least 10 years. I don't believe it's true, of course, because a squirrel is not going to eat crack; it's just not going to desire to eat the substance. I think it's a foaftale, I think it dates back to the 70's at least. I remember reading a Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers (zap comix) cartoon where stoner Fat Freddy has his hash and coke 'bindle' stolen by the fleapit apt mice, and they get really wired. I'm not saying that's the source, I think that it's a bit of cultural noise, like a mythic image that appeals to people. Oh, the little anthropomorph is emulating my addictions! How Ky00t!
  • The squirrel story has to be a fake. Find me one other instance of a gang of squirrels attacking and ripping flesh off of a "large" dog and we'll consider it... these are rodents, they eat nuts, they run from dogs, they have yet to be recruited by the crips or the bloods... 'til then... meh
  • "Woah. I've never seen black squirrels before. They must be vicious." Here in Ontario, seeing a black squirrel was a sign that you were now in the city. Seemed to be a city-only phenomenon. This is no longer the case, as black squirrels have spread into the suburbs, although they haven't displaced the grey squirrels yet. IANAS, but it's my understanding that black squirrels are in fact albinos. The black squirrel genes are dominant, and should one mate with a grey, you'll get another black. (Which doesn't quite fit with my understanding of genetics vis a vis albinos, but oh well.) Over time, the pure-blacks breed into a sort of black-with-brown tinges. Despite the proliferation of black squirrels, the greys remain a solid majority. However, there is also a phenomena where you'll have an entirely black squirrel, except for the very tip of his tail, which is white. Fascinating to watch. Squees all round. Here in the Niagara Peninsula, though, we have a real rarity -- blonde squirrels. Totally blonde. Up close, it looks like a blonde-grey mix, but it's a different grey than your normal grey squirrel, which has a lot of brown to it. Obviously, I like watching squirrels. I'll let you get back to what you were talking about now...
  • a phenomena = a phenomenon
  • Just to be clear: "IANAS" = "I Am Not A Squirrel"
  • Chy, I had mice go after the cold medicine in the dresser (the gelatin capsules that have the little beads of medicine in them, and they appeared to eat the beads). I baited the live traps with the rest of the capsules and actually caught more mice. I'm not saying the squirrels on crack thing is true, but just that rodents will go after weird stuff. Dealing with rats in the house now, but they just seem to want to harass the parrots. If I knew a crack rock would make them go away, I'd be all for it.
  • Rats are rodents. Rats eat anything. Squirrels are rats with fuzzy tails. HuronBob, I'm calling you on this. I double-dog dare you to stick your bare foot into a squirrel's nest.
  • patita, they are smelling the sugar and oils and other crap in the gelatin caps and the contents. Their sense of smell is orders of magnitude greater than ours and it only takes one tasty lipid in there to send them off. There's no nutrients in crack. It seems to me, unless the rock was coated in chocolate, the furry little bastards are not gonna be interested in it. Rats will not eat *anything* unless they are starving. Goats will eat anything, now there's an animal that will ingest anything if it wants to, I had a goat that ate coke cans. No joke.
  • Black squirrels are adorable! I want one! Our last house was in the woods, and we had hot and cold running squirrels. They'd get in the ceiling, run along the roof at all hours having nut-tossing parties. And they were so damned cute! In the current apartment there are mostly the bold city squirrels. My favorite squirrel memory is Hyde Park. A huge squirrel was begging from everyone, obviously knowing how to play the cute. We gave him dried apricots and he turned his little squirrel nose up. Not much of a story, but he was really cute. Chocolate-coated crack. Chyren, I think you may be on to something...
  • Squirrels are rodents, like rats, and like rats will eat whatever's handy. Despite being very clever, they fight savagely among themselves at times, and will kill one another. By late summer they often bear terrible wounds, with a missing eye or a piece of tail. Squirrels only live a couple of years, but those are years of high passions and extreme behaviours. They are very territorial. Still, I thiink they'd have to be utterly desperate to attack an animal like a dog. The only way I can envision them succeeding is if the dog was injured badly to begin with, or was inform or ill. In the winter I've fed squirrels on pizza, cheese, cooked bacon, pastrami, sliced ham, sardines, and chicken as well as seeds and peanut butter and nuts. In the wild they eat bird's eggs and will eat fledglings if the adults aren't there to protect them.
  • OK, bluehorse, you're on... I got black squirrels, grey squirrels, and fox squirrels in the oaks out in the yard...pick your weapon.. I'll stick my smelly little foot in the nest and watch those chicken little furry tailed rats run like the vermin they are! I laugh in the face of squirrel death, I mock the threat of gnarly squirrel teeth, I beg to be mixed with the digestive juices of hate filled rodents... I'll let ya know how it turns out.
  • When squirrels attack, they go straight for the other guy's balls. Acute, yes. But not cute.
  • I went to the house of a mentor of mine a few years back, and laughed when I saw that she had a book titled _How to Outsmart a Squirrel_. She is a really sweet lady until you get her going on the subject of squirrels. They are her nemesis.
  • *pops lots of popcorn *pulls up a couple chairs Have a seat, Bees. Let's watch HuronBob take on these squirrels. Think he'll wear his iron-plated BVDs? As if they wouldn't bite the foot that feeds them!
  • MonkeyFilter: Years of high passions and extreme behaviours. They are very territorial.
  • If I bring frosty beverages, can I watch the squirrel foot fun, too?
  • It being December, I'll also bring some hot cocoa.
  • *pulls up chair next to BlueHorse and waggles antennae* BlueHorse: are ye perchance a sporting betting woman?
  • We heard ye shriek and catterwaul we said it was a baby's call. We knew we lied -- we didn't cate we weren't going to leave ye there. O smelly kitty from the sewer, wot soap is there can make ye pure?
  • Har! More squirrel fishing.
  • Whew, I first read that as crotch!