November 28, 2005

IVR Cheat Sheet Paul English created the IVR Cheat Sheet to help you quickly get to a human when you are trying to call a company for service. (The term IVR stands for "Interactive Voice Response", the fancy name for annoying computers who answer most phones these days.)

Also, more info and fun links here. If this is a double post I'm gonna shoot someone in the search business.

posted by techsmith 19 years ago
  • Great. Now find the UK version, then we will let you live! *these phone things annoy me too*
  • Fucking fantastic!!!!! I have copied and printed that page. Now I wonder how long it will be before these companies change it all. Thanks, techsmith!
  • Some icons would be useful: - Consumer Reports style rating icons showing how good or bad their IVR system is - Elephant icon to signify when the IVR reaches someone who's obviously in Bangalore - Dunce cap to show systems that hang up on people when the IVR system doesn't get the responses it likes
  • Try saynoto0870.com for the UK. A lot of those get you straight through, or if not they're geographic numbers anyway.
  • Cingular and formerly-ATT-Wireless-now-Cingular customers can reach a live person from the Cingular IVR by answering any automated question with the magic words, "SPEAK TO A REP." Also, Cingular and formerly-ATT-Wireless-now-Cingular customers who prefer to receive skilled customer support, ask to be transferred to BEUC (Business End User Care). BEUC reps go through an extra month of training, above and beyond the standard training. In other words, they ACTUALLY know everything that the basic Cingular reps SHOULD know but don't. They're also, in my experience, both kinder and more intelligent than the run-of-the-mill Cingular reps. Business class versus coach class, you know how it goes. The BEUC rep probably isn't going to care, but if asked, tell them you get an employee discount, which is why you were transferred to the BEUC line. If you want to be extra-sneaky, say that you used to receive an employee discount, but you haven't for years, but there's still some kind of business flag on your account, which is why the Cingular rep panicked and transferred you to BEUC (happens all the time - or it did while I was there). Of course, now that I have told you, I will have to kill you.
  • ... Actually, if you prefer not to lie, you could just say "I'm not really a business account, but a friend told me to ask for you guys if I ever needed actual customer service, because Cingular's consumer support is TERRIBLE." Most BEUC reps have to interface with Cingular's consumer side at least once a day, so they know where you're coming from, believe me.