November 27, 2005

The Appliance She's Always Wanted. Just in time for Xmas!
  • Well. That's interesting.
  • "We know that some women need something -- a pill, a nasal spray -- to get them going," A 26'er of gin, a fistful of dollars, Jon Stewart naked and inflamed with filthy lust...the list just goes on.
  • That ain't new, they got this sexiting creme at the head shop the women love. My ex girlfriend used to love it. Talk about nasal drips though, she was gushing. We were at some jazz bar and I sent her to the washroom to put some on (aspen style) she couldn't sit still at the bar after that. I tell ya though, you gotta reapply and reapply that stuff though, it only works for a round or so.
  • In other words it's just like my body odour, hunh?
  • This is going to kill the market for old school nasal foreplay.
  • Because of course we know that if a woman's not turned on, then it's her fault.
  • Brian Fantana: Time to musk up. Ron Burgundy: What cologne are you going to go with? London Gentleman? Black Beard's Delight? Brian Fantana: No, she gets the special cologne. Sex Panther, made by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. It contains real panther bits, so you know it's good. Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent. It's a formidable scent. Brian Fantana: [holding the bottle of Sex Panther] They've done studies you know- 60% of the time, it works every time. [cheesy grin] Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make any sense.
  • no fucking way
  • *hugs scartol*
  • It's just another date rape drug. ..? eh?
  • "But one caveat that we have about that is they should probably look around themselves before they start taking a pill." Wasn't the drug to compensate for what can sometimes happen when you do try looking around you?
  • In other news, retailers report that humidifier sales are up 40 percent.
  • Oh. /imagines the scene at the perfume aisles on a mall, when companies start lacing their wares with such drug.
  • I've already developed such a perfume...I call it L'Air du Humpy. I'm selling shares. Are you bitches in?
  • I'd prefer Pussé.
  • Wear whatever your normal cologne is in a reasonable dose, and then lightly reach behind each of your ears and dab some owl semen.
  • And we call it...Hooté.
  • And we call it... Orly.