November 26, 2005
Michael Sessions, meet Wilf Petherbridge.
"Oooh, 18 year old mayor" you declare. Well, Lewisham took it one step further, and elected a 14 year old. He's got 25,000 quid as a budget, which is like 3 million dollars American. 14!, and an elected official.
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Just couldn't let it go, could you? Had to play the old one-up game on the colonists, huh? Well, GAME ON, BUDDY. So I hereby announce the candidacy of my three-year-old nephew, Alexander, as Grand Poobah of the Universe and Sexiest Motherfucker Just Out Of Diapers. Qualifications? Why, he can climb on stuff better than most. He also understands that he is not in fact Spider-Man. Does Wilf Petherbridge (if that is his real name)? I doubt it. Also, Alexander can recite "I see London, I see France" the very second he sees some young lady's underpants. Take that, Gleepflorple Magnus of Omicron V!
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I don't think he's the regular mayor. I think he's something called the "Young Mayor." The link says: The Young Mayor will have a £25,000 budget to spend on services for young people in the borough, as well as advise the elected Mayor for Lewisham, Steve Bullock, on issues relating to young people.
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Oh... you know where this is heading, don't you? Are you ready for Bush & Bush on '08?
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That said, I would vote for mct's nephew for something, because what I look for most in a candidate is that he doesn't, in fact, believe that he is Spider-Man. That's rare in an elected official.
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I used to believe I wasn't Spider-Man. But then, what with all the cobwebs and the sticking to things and the fighting of the weirdos in the green costumes, now I'm not so sure.
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I find this really scary! This race for who can be the world's closest to the womb politician. I'm most likely wrong, though. If this is ok, what's wrong with 14 year old prostitutes?
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Stirfry: what's the difference?
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ummm...hey, you're right!
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Is Gleepflorple Magnus of Omicron V really the silicon-based lifeform best equipped to serve as Grand Poobah of the Universe? In his last term in the Forknacular Galactic Senate, Gleepflorple swore that he would outlaw the taunting of young girls and establish a three-day waiting period for the sales of all suction-cup dart guns. That's right, Gleepflorple Magnus of Omicron V wants to take away your right to shoot suction-cup darts at young girls! Is this the best way to fight intergalactic crime? What special interests are pulling your tentacles, Gleepflorple Magnus of Omicron V? This ad paid for by the Committee to Elect Alexander.
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I voted for his nephew, And it isn't strange I'm told, That the only honest candidate, Has just turned 3 years old, Oh I voted for his nephew, And I think he's number one, It doesn't phase me just one bit, That he's someone's toddler son, Yes I voted for his nephew, And he won it by a mile, 'Cause how could anyone resist, That baby's drooling smile? Oh yes I voted for his nephew, And I feel a little sad, That as far administrations go, It's the best we've ever had.
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Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye? well, someone had to