November 24, 2005

• guinea fowl are good to keep. They are very clever, they'll act like watchdogs. All the little babies will climb upon the mother on sight of danger, also.
• The jumping on the mother is actually pretty funny behavior, Chyren. Have you kept any? A little aside about the post: the fact that it seems that around the world, the turkey is named after other countries/places is what really tickled me.
• I never have kept guineas, but my Granny used to keep 'em, tho' I've known people who did. They lay smallish eggs, edible and quite nice. They wander quite a bit more than hens, though, they can climb even quite high chicken wire fences so they're not practical outside of larger properties. Yes, they are extremely amusing when the babies all gather on the mum. They will let you know if there's a snake or a fox around, grouping together and making a bit of noise. Their little hats are very funny, although some breeds don't have them. Wild turkeys are a good breed. Tough little blighters, I believe Ben Franklin argued for the US national bird to be a turkey rather than an eagle, probably for their hardy and resolute nature. It is a pity that the 'domestic' turkey is bred for growth and size, to the point where they don't actually live very long because of this.
• Well, in addition to not living for very long, the modern-day overgrown turkeys are a lot harder to cook well, since huge masses of lean meat are harder to keep from going dry when cooking. As for chicken-wire climbing guinea hens, I hadn't thought that they could do that. The mind boggles. Yet another fun turkey fact: why can't you buy turkey eggs in a store?
• Tom turkeys are kind and courteous birds until the day they've grown up and the hormones kick in and they want to kick the living crap out all and sundry. Run. Run for your lives! The turkeys have hit puberty and are drunk on power and bloodlust!
• I had a dream today that Mr. Franklin had had his way, and the Turkey was the national bird, and we ate eagles on thanksgiving day. I bet eagles taste pretty foul. This is not to say Franklin was foolish.
• Warning! Guinea fowl relish bees.
• I somehow think he wasn't considerin' the eatin' but I grok your vibe. Yes, moneyjane, the turkey is a formidable beast, which is why I admire them. Similarly, the goose, much maligned, is a far better guardian to the locale than any stinking canine. A goose can fuck a man up pretty bad. As I think you well know.
• Vulturine Guineas don't have the hats.
• I am actually also fond of Peacocks which are a bright and surprisingly friendly bird, if acclimatised. They can become very tame and will beat the shit out of cats and small dogs if given the chance.
• A goose can fuck a man up pretty bad Mr Foxy will fuck them before you hear a single sound, though.
• Foxy Loxy? Pffft. No match for my guard rhinoceros, which also make a lovely yuletime meal if baked well and stuffed with something edible, such as crickets or a small child. Yum!
• Yeah, well, my guard velociraptors will fuck you ALL up, mo'fos! I call them Flossy, Gertrude and Mabel. I would never eat them, because I love them too much.
• My hookworm parasite will lay eggs inside your dino-dolts that will hatch in their stomachs and attach themselves to the inside of their bowels, gorging themselves on their nutritious blood. Mmm-mmm! A delighful garnish for deep fried dinosaur bowel.
• I have personally 'vacinated' their internal organs with special kitfisto juice. They are impervious to all of your evils.
• Lizard fucker.
• They love it. *wiggles tentacles*
• "Mr Foxy will fuck them before you hear a single sound, though." We had chooks and rabbits taken by MM. Reynard, but never geese, even though we kept all. YMMV.
• *sics attack tapeworm on infidels*
• I recall and old tale of my grandmother's, regarding turkey flocks, domestic ones at that, being quite fierce, to the point of surrounding a grown person and forcing them to plummet off a cliff. Don't know how much fantasy is in that.
• Well I recall an old tale of my mother's, regarding Cliff Richard forcing surrounding grown people to listen to a complete turkey of a song. It plummeted down the domestic charts. No I don't have anything better to do.
• I was attacked by a goose once...actually it targeted my kids as they sat in the canoe. One swift swing of the paddle put an end to that episode. I imagine a turkey attack would be similar...well except for the dive-bombing out of the sky part.
• Dive bombed by Goose? You mean Maverick, 'cause Goose is dead.
• Noooooo! lovely Anthony Edwards!! When he still had hair!!! /sniffle
• I had a temp job once putting flyers in people's mailboxes for the city where I lived. I thought this one yard had ceramic geese in it (a popular lawn ornament at the time), but they were real geese, and they scared the crap out of me, chasing me and honking. Needless to say, I quit the job.
• "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"