November 22, 2005

• not that related, but another goofy story that was linked from the bottom of your link...
• I knew it! As soon as I clicked and saw "Police Hit man In Genitals With Taser" come up on the title bar I KNEW it would be in Florida! WTF is it about Florida these days?
• Justice prevails, even in Florida! And, to top off this case of appropriate justice...right here at MonkeyFilter we have a case of inter-internet-teleportation... with the single click of the mouse we're at Fark!
• Totally sounds like a freakishly amazing coincidental accident to me.
• Why do they publish his name all over the Internets? Isn't it enough punishment to be shot in the genitals with a Taser while being naked?
• Shocking!
• But one of the gun's prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals and got stuck, Clearly this guy needed some help containing his behavior, but what the hell does got stuck what does that mean? What kind of girth gets a tazer stuck on it? That just sounds too over the top.
• .
• mmmuttly, a tazer is not the same thing as those handheld stungun shockers. Tazers fire a couple of barbed darts that are connected via electrical lines to the gun. They pierce the skin and have fishhook-like barbs on them to make them stick. After they connect with the skin and hook in, the cop can fire the charge. So this guy got shot in the dong with a metal fishhook and subsequently got a couple of hundred volts run through it.
• *crosses legs, winces*
• Isn't it enough punishment to be shot in the genitals with a Taser while being naked? It's not nearly enough! Now where did I put that scourge... ah! /resumes reading Venus in Furs
• Beware the cops in Florida -- the jolts ye get are horrider than simple jail or sky-high bail, and worse than bull with matador.
• 
• Cried a young man known only as Jeremy, "I'm blinded with pain and with terror! Me bollocks are sore! I had one dick, no more, But now I fear there'll be a pair o'me!"
• Mr Miljour to cops, in a letter: "Your Tazer my style did not fetter. For my line used to be: Hey baby, touch me! But now I can say Kiss it better?
• I was aiming at his leg But instead I hit his schlong I couldn't tell them apart Cause they were about the same length long
• D'ya think it felt good, just for that split second before it became excrutiatingly painful and he passed out? I think Quoddy should run an experiment.
• Be careful of what you ask for...
• Aw c'mon, chimpy! Attach those electrodes...just for a second...
• Take Care of your Schlong Being a pious Exhortation publish’d by a Lady, in her distress at the plethora of tragic Accidents to befal the male Members of this Community. Take care of your schlong. It does not belong In places where it’s not invited. Keep it safe and sound. Don’t wave it around Near dogs that get overexcited. Take care of your schlong. It’s not very strong, And cannot withstand the attentions Of lobsters with claws Or that creature from Jaws Or Republicans preaching abstention. Take care of your schlong, For it would be wrong To place it in acid solutions, In hives full of bees, Under falling trees Or in plugs that cause electrocution. Take care of your schlong! Thus endeth my song. Steer clear of pirhanas and lasers. Don’t shut it in doors (your neighbours’ or yours) And for God’s sake avoid cops with Tazers.
• Ha!
• *applause*
• Oh, yes! Bravo! Bravo!
• But look! Now they have pretty Tazers! Shiny shiny pretty Tazers! In pretty colours! "...aimed at safety and fashion conscious members of the public"! Somehow, this does not make me feel any safer. (awesome poem, Pallas, missed that the first time round)