November 02, 2005

• You just know he sits in his pitch black basement every night watching beastiality rape porn.
• "...there is flatulence in this film." Whew! Thanks for the warning!
• ..there is flatulence in this film. Jesus, I apologized to everyone around me at the time, but this bastard as to go and put on his goddam website.
• "...ghosting of female anatomy through thin clothing" Well, as they say, one learns something new everyday. I knew that had to have a name. 'Ghosting', mmmhhh... To be fair, the guy upholds his level of criticism when analyzing Left Behind: World at War. Tries to justify some of the violence as 'necessary to the story', though. I wonder then just which film, if any, would pass his strict criteria.
• Jesus hates people who are naked except for a box with a sticker that says "may contain nuts". Sarcasm aside, I think it's kind of cool that he's quoting "Scriptures of Armour against the influence of the entertainment industry". Too bad that to free the thinking about one thing it must be so shackled to another.
• This man needs a punch in the chops. I mean that in the nicest possible way.
• I love that site and have returned to it again and again over the years. Funnnily enough while watching W&G & the were-rabbit I actually thought of it and was going to see what they would say, so ta to grover for reminding me. My favourite criticism is Phantom Menace losing points for 'statue nudity' (not to mention the young anakin quibbling over his bedtime - the true route to evil).
• From the Doom article: 64 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary The only "three letter word" I could think of was "bum". Which I don't think would be the most severe of your problems should your four year old child get in to a showing of Doom.
• buh.
• These reviewers can't actually write decent English. Too much masturbating?
• Blaise, think a bit more you tit. (I suspect ass might register on their list).
• Aw, but thinking's hard.
• Ass on their list? Yet did not Our Lord ride into Jerusalem on one Himself?!
• Yeah, but he apparently condones blackmail: "NOTE: We received four donations in October. If there are no more donations between now and November 4, an analysis of Chicken Little will not be published. Nor will there be any analyses " C'mon, people. Pony up the change! I neeed that Chicken Little review!
• I'm sorry. "Analysis"
• Chicken Little: Too much cock.
• This site had quite a cult following in the office I worked in a few years back. The guy keeps mentioning instances of "the most foul of foul words" and there was much speculation as to what this word might actually be (fuck? cunt? Democrat?). We even emailed him to ask, but his reply sadly didn't actually say - he did say that we were all doomed to hell for wanting to know, though. So that's nice.
• Yet this seems like a perfectly reasonable question moth. You may have been the guardians of a mildly foul-mouthed tot who wouldn't baulk at a 'bugger' but would be shocked by a 'shit', as it were. Cult following is also, may I say, an apposite choice of words.
• Don't forget the "anal wind" that is in the South Park movie...
• Aren't there any natural bodily functions allowed in church?
• Only those involving choir boys.
• These aren't Catholics; these are probably hard-line Protestants. I remember this site; it's appallingly adorable and hilarious in its batshit insanity. Ultimately it represents a Dark Side version of something I believe very strongly in - parents taking responsibility for what their children view, instead of relying on legislation to parent for them - and for that it is sickening, but as a simple read for entertainment, it's hysterical in both senses of the word. I'm a bit divided. Still. The Three-Letter Word might also be "God," taking the Lord's name in vain. No clue about the Worst Word Ever.
• Kudos, kitfisto!
• In other news: many religious nutjobs lack perspective, senses of humor.
• Porn at 11!
• "The Foulest Of Foul Words" = blogosphere Makes me throw up a little in my mouth just to think of it. And I'm sure I heard Wallace mutter it under his breath at least THREE times when he thought Gromit wasn't listening.
• American Psycho did not fair very well.
• I thought that was one of the best comedies of recent years.
• American Psycho did not fair very well. I wonder if that's the theatrical release, or the Uncut Killer Collector's Edition DVD.
• I'm not watching American Psycho: it takes the Christ out of Christmas.
• So all you're left with is mas? Huh.
• One of the objectionable moments in American Psycho: >chasing prostitute (while chaser is nude) with a chain saw If you're going to kill someone with a chainsaw, for heaven's sake do it in a Christian manner- with pants on.
• Maybe the objection was to the chainsaw. Stoning is the proper way to go, isn't it? Oh, wait, that's for adulterers..
• "upper gender-specific anatomy" ... "upper gender-specific anatomy!" This website is rated R for gratuitous torture of the English language.
• Aw, I read the Hitchhiker's Guide review, and he completely missed the "Where God Went Wrong" trilogy. He's slipping.
• Grice's maxims are from the devil.
• No clue about the Worst Word Ever. @#$%! Now I'll never know the Worst Word Ever. Say, wait a minute...
• I know this is a bit late, but it's interesting how The Exorcist is pretty much OK by him. The Devil and possession exist. God triumphs. OK there's swearing and rudery, but that's just Old Nick talking. Plus that spider-walk sequence rules
• He is holding us hostage!!! I say we Monkeys sponsor his review of The Ringer.