November 01, 2005

Bi-curious, George.
  • Fortunately it's an ape, not a monkey.
  • And to think it's his closest relative. Eeuw.
  • How do you know it's not a lady ape? Did you check out its junk? Still, beer-goggles are a bitch...
  • I used to live one block from the stl zoo and that sculpture. One night some friends and I (all extremely drunk) snuck into the zoo. The zoo had an exhibit known as Monkey Island, which was a frog pond with an island and a screened in bridge that crossed the island, on which resided baboons. We discovered a rowboat left behind by maintenance or keepers and commandeered it for a Journey to Monkey Island. When we landed the baboons went crazy (or, if you prefer, they "went ape"): they screamed at us and circled around the island frantically, occasionally charging at us (or feigning to charge us - they'd veer off before making contact). They made so much noise that the police were alerted. When the cops shone their spotlights at us from shore and told us to "freeze" I swam off the back side of the island and staggered home via back ways I knew because I lived in the neighborhood. My friends weren't so fortunate and had to spend a night in jail and a Saturday cleaning out cages as community service. And that's the story of Escape From Monkey Island, which admittedly has almost nothing to do with the post.
  • Chy, why can't you use your powers for good, not evil? *weeps to see the degraded monkey*
  • Pray for Mojo.