October 18, 2005

• Er, jim, not to be a stick in the mud, but I did a search on "window caulking" and came up with a shit load of info. Did you try a web search?
• You could always see the post ahead of yours. She might forget all about the weatherstriping and you'd both stay hot hot hot all winter. Or go to your local Home Despot. There are several different items that you could use. One is a soft caulk that comes in a long strip that you can force into the drafty strip with your fingers. There's another type that is a foam strip that has stickum on each side or on one side. You peel the paper cover strip off and stick. Since windows have a lousy thermal rating, you might want to cover them at night. If you buy sheets of insulation (the kind that comes 4x8 with the silver cover) you can cut to exact fit the windows so that they push in and hold. Duct tape the edges so they don't crumble and will stablize a bit, then Mrs.-t can cover them with inexpensive fabric. Put them in at night, and they pay back the cost in a month. Don't look too bad, either, as long as you use a nice fabric that matches your furnishings.
• /snarky comment
• When I lived in a drafty old house in Somerville, Mass., we used to seal the windows to reduce fuel costs each winter using plastic sheeting and duct tape. Really helped to have that extra barrier between you and the cold.
• actually the plastic thing works great
• I've found that the plastic sheeting insulation kits work well in my house. If your windows are drafty or cracked, be sure to take advantage of the heat-shrinking capability or else they will bulge unpleasantly all winter when the wind blows. In the interest of full disclosure, I work for a company that manufactures those kits. But I still find that they work well.
• You want 3M V-seal or similar. It's a strip of flexible plastic tape with a crease down the middle, so the cross section looks like this: V One of the sides of the V is sticky. You put it on the edge of a door or window. The V stays open enough to fill in the gap. Unlike felt, the V compresses flat when you close the window or door, so it doesn't get in the way. Great stuff. Cheap and easy to use. For a few bucks, I turned a drafty New England apartment into a reasonably air-tight place. --Pat
• Thanks for the info... I did google it, and came back with a metric funkton of results. I was looking to see if the monkeys had found anything that they would consider reliable.
• Metric fuckton. Technical term. Also, where are my socks?
• Someone's watched the funking Shaun of the Dead extras? We've had great success with the sticky foam strips around our windows and doors, but make sure to clean the surface really well before you stick them on, or they'll come off again in a couple of days. One rental place we lived in had rubber strips that were nailed/screwed to the door and window frames. Hanging long thermal drapes would also help in the evenings.
• Burning books works well, too.
• so does moving to the tropics - a touch irresponsible perhaps - but.....
• Curious George: Keeping my wife warm! Hey, I only read that far so here's my tip: threesomes. I'd even help out personally, but I've just been banned for this comment so see you all later.
• If you're going to try the quidnunc, read the manual first. Don't make the same mistake we did!
• Uh, Koko, I thought we'd agreed never to speak about that again..?
• Just trying to save jim_t and Kimberly an expensive cleaning bill ...
• Did you try a web search? /snarky comment Wow. It's kind of sad when they're nicer on (ask) metafilter than they are here.
• MonkeyFilter: I came back with a metric funkton of results Oh it's fine
• Hey, I didn't know about the V-tape, zippy. I've used the foamy sticky insulation strips in the past but then had a problem with our external door closing shut (you had to pull it to make sure).
• Yeah, I know the "proper" term is metric fuckton, but I was feeling a bit funky last night. Possibly why I neglected to mention that I had googled this. I had incorrectly assumed that a Curious George post would have been proceeded by a good googling, and the post was more of a "how would you do this" rather than a "I'm too lazy/busy/clueless to find this out on my own".
• Yeah, back at 'em, Jim! Good post.
• I thought that I was very nice, kimbery. When I did a search I found not only a lot of links, but good ones with all kinds of info. It's no skin off my nose if questions like this are posted on mofi, it just seemed rather easy to find this sort of info on the net. BTW, Chy I have your socks.
• I'm still not sure just what a metric fuckton consists of. Is this a measure of mass, weight, or volume? Tare or Gross? Dry and liquid? Can it be divided into metric fuck half-tons or metric half-fucktons? What's the relationship between a metric fuckton and a metric fucktonne? Are there standard fucktons as well as metric fucktons, or is that just for tools? Are you a tool if you use the term "metric fuckton" in polite company? Can a metric fuckton evaporate? Please inform me because I'm too lazy/busy/clueless to find this out on my own. *hits snarker with cane to hear high-pitched scream ARRRRRRGGGHH
• I assume the google search returned several comepting ideas, and the CG post was to find out if monkeys had any experience as to what works and what doesn't. I've used the 3M huge plastic sheets that cover the entire window, and heat-shrink with a hair-dryer. They work well to eliminate drafts, but prevent you from ever opening your windows until spring. Use them in combination with semi-permanent peelable caulking and your windows should be fine. For doors, I've used the closed-cell foam strips with adhesive backing, with less than positive results. I ended up just replacing the door with a pre-hung door & jamb assembly. No more drafts.
• A metric fuckton is the weight of semen produced by 100 standard cubic owls in an hour. Coincidentally, this is about the same amount you need to draught proof an average house.
• I dont know much about houses, but I have just about officially had it with the "did you google?" snarks. If the person is a good member who has been here a long time, ie: jim_t has posted 19 links and 206 comments on MonkeyFilter since November 26, 2003. I think we can all safely assume he did Google, then asked b/c he was looking for people's personal experiences, which is the point of a CG post.
• This thread actually has a lot of good advice that I will most likely utilize, so I don't understand the initial snark as well. Thanks for all the input to this seemingly unintersting topic. I'm curious about GramMa's suggestion of the sheets of insulation. I was going to try something similar with GatorBoard last year.
• I think the snark - labeled as such - was pretty innocuous. I learned a bunch and didn't google squat! Ha! Take that googleheads! *sticks out tongue, moons thread*
• storyboard says: Hey, I didn't know about the V-tape, zippy. I've used the foamy sticky insulation strips in the past but then had a problem with our external door closing shut. V-seal works better than felt and rubber strips, because it doesn't get in the way of the door or window closing. For a door, apply the the V-Seal tape so the v points in the direction the door swings when it closes. The door sill will push the lower side of the V up as the door swings shut. --Pat "starting so sound like a shill for 3M"
• The Fuckton is the Imperial standard for the measurement of fuckweight, while the Fucktonne, in contrast, constitutes the Metric measure of fuckmass. Generally used to imply superlative quantity with the Metric standard included to emphasise this point. The inclusion of the term is, however, fundamentally a misuse of that standard, as the Imperial Fuckton (2000 Imperial Fuckpounds) denotes a slightly greater measure of fuckweight within Earth's gravitational pull than does the Metric Fuckton (1000 Metric Fuckilograms). ouch
• In America, it's the Cubic Assload.
• I'm enjoying this thread, too. I live in a house that was converted from a 2 (or 3) car garage, so the place is not insulated much at all, and the windows are very drafty. Last winter I had good success with the plastic sheeting that you tape up around the window and then shrink with a hair dryer. My biggest heating bills went from $200 plus to around 180, so the plastic more than paid for itself. A word of caution, though: I'd splurge on the kind that come with name-brand tape. The cheaper ones with generic double stick tape can be a bear to use, since the tape mostly wants to stick to itself instead of to your window frames. On a further note, does anyone have good ways to block drafts from a door while still being able to use it? I have a door that is not hung well, so there is a visible gap between the door and the frame (you can see lots o' daylight, and it's a rental, so I can't change it), and the "storm door" outside of it is screen instead of glass. I think the gap is too big for the V-strip stuff, and it's at an angle, so I don't think foam would work either (small gap at the top, big gap at the bottom = biiig draft). I thought about just hanging a thermal curtain over the entire door, and I may still go that way if that's all I can think of. Last winter I put the plastic sheeting over the screen on the outer door and that helped a bit but didn't solve the problem completely.
• All I know is, a metric buttload is bigger than a standard buttload.
• My understanding was always Buttload < metric buttload < fuckload < metric fuckload
• I think it's more Dingleberry < Buttload < Standard Buttload < Metric Buttload < Fuckton
• Would it be inappropriate for me to state that I have never had much trouble keeping jim_t's wife warm?
• < eyes bernockle suspiciously > I've been wondering who's been keeping my wife warm while she claims that she's at "school". Wait right there... I'ma gonna git my shotgun!
• Drive bernockle! Drive! *banjo chase music*
• *microwaves popcorn*
• No need to worry for me, petebest and Space Kitty. You misunderstand jim_t's intentions with that shotgun. It is the very device the jim_t's wife prefers to be kept warm with.
• I've heard it can be happiness when warm.
• You could always hire a bounty hunter
• Jim_t, regarding keeping your wife warm: keep an eye on the "uses for a vibrator" thread. I'll bet there will eventually be a suggestion there you can use. *looks around in confusion I mean, if you keep a vibrator running long enough, surely it will get warm? Then you can use it to get a good seal on the window caulking.
• No that's for the other thread GramMa. Wait or is it this one? *gets confused again*