October 17, 2005

• Pick the winning megamillions lottery number. It's only gotta work once.
• Who wants to fly at 30,000 feet? I just wanna get out of downtown traffic! Actually, I'd like to be able stop time and rewind an hour or so-- such a useful power to have if you insert foot in mouth as often as I do. Only an hour or so though, I kinda think more than that wouldn't be fair.
• Sorry, but I can't get creative on this one. I've always known, ever since I was young, and it's painfully basic. Barring some über-power like total control over matter and energy Dr. Manhattan-style, I simply want to fly. With wings. Large, feathery wings. Last week I swung on a cable attached to a crane from about 40 or 50 feet up at the state fair. It only made that wish stronger.
• instant teleportation would be nice, thank you.
• THE POWER OF BLEACH!
• To have power over gravity, and to make it heavier or lighter in a specific spot or for a specific person at will.
• Oh, I've wanted this one since I was very young: the ability to communicate fluently in every human language.
• There was some independent line of super hero comics in the 80s that had a team with 1 member who was just really lucky. The evil ninja that was about to kill him would slip in dog poo or something. That always seemed ideal, but it might get boring. Maybe I'd take to jumping out of planes without a parachute just to see what the universe would cook up to save me. I'd still think that's what I'd pick, though.
• PS: When I was a kid, we would ask this question, but then everyone else would get to assign you a penalty. Like, if I *could* communicate in every human language, then perhaps I wouldn't be able to control what language I was speaking at any given time. Or, if you could fly, then you'd never be able to stand or walk again. If you got a lot of money, you'd get it but it would come in a single gold ingot that would land on you and maim your body for life. Nobody ever wished for teleportation or control over gravity, but I might assign them the penalties of never being able to teleport to a place within sight of any other place you'd ever been, and not having control over gravity when you were asleep, meaning you risked injury and your furniture would be kindling in the morning. (Also, we made sure you couldn't resolve all the problems that would come with granting a wish. That is, if you wished you could fly, it didn't meant that you could magically breathe at 30,000 feet, or that you wouldn't feel cold there. You would. Or if you had a lot of money, it didn't mean it would magically show up in your bank account. You'd still have to deal with the taxman, greedy relatives, and the problems of proving it was yours.)
• I am not sure if this would be my number one, but off the top of my head, breathing underwater/ability to withstand pressure to a decent depth would be cool. without the encumberance of equipment, it would be like flying underwater...
• The ability to communicate with animals would be really cool.
• I'd like to be literally invisible instead of just figuratively/effectively invisible. Because in that situation you have all the drawbacks of invisibility with none of the benefits. Like free movies. Dammit.
• The power of ultimate persuasion. To convince anyone of anything. First off I'd become a psychologist, after talking myself into a degree without study from a prestigious university. Set up office, build a clientele of the super rich and convince people they really were fine and should just get over their overly privileged caterwauling. Then convince them that my fee was actually quite fair and reasonable. Everybody wins.
• The ability to create and use scalar longitudinal waves whenever I darned well felt like it. Also I would like a nice costume that makes my horrible little belly look desirable. And a pointy mask that inspires confusion: "Good? Evil? We just don't know."
• Immortality, for sure. The only "superpower" I would ever want. Though it would be nice if it included invulnerability for all those pesky accidents an eternal being is sure to get themselves into...
• Thought control. Yeah, Weezel, I mean YOU!
• I would like the ability to detect bad conversationalists at 40 paces. I've gotten better over the years, but I still end up in plenty of boring, useless dialogues with people I'd rather not talk to for more than 15 seconds. I know that makes me sound like an arrogant prick, but since I'm a performer, I have to meet scads of people on a near daily basis. Part of the curse of my British birth, is my seeming inability to be impolite and just excuse myself arbruptly.
• I already have it. The incredible, edible, magical mystical cyber-SEXY. Of course, not nearly as much as sexyrobot does. But enough.
• The super power to put my son to sleep. Snap my fingers, and he sleeps for 9hrs straight.
• Shape change. Creature or thing at will, and survive (even if a thing that doesn't breathe).
• Super charisma baby, yeah.
• Somewhat along the lines of nonbinary's power of persuasion, but a little broader, I think I'd like the superpower of being able to understand people perfectly. I don't mean being telepathic or psychic, although it might seem to manifest itself that way. Imagine if you were fully in tune with exactly how your body and brain worked, and you could extend that in-tuneness to anyone you concentrated on. Natural downsides of this might be some degree of loss of identity, and life itself might seem rather boring if everything was easily understood. I wouldn't necessarily want it to be easy for me to do.
• The power to open a bank vault with my penis.
• How about "Most Revealing of the Poster's Personality" wins a prize, too? (on preview, I have to laugh) Gravity control would be really fun, I think. Especially if you could not just make things lighter or heavier, but if you could redirect it for specific objects. You could create a slight gravitational pull between you and all the attractive members of the opposite sex in the room. Or fly. Or suck annoying people into the mini black holes you could make. I would probably accidentally destroy the universe.
• Mind control of those around me. Of course, I'd go crazy, trying to nudge and push people into not murdering/attacking/hating each other. Surely I'd unwillingly cause greater massacres than any dicators and tyrants in recorded history. A more egotystical one would be, hands down, free flying. And invulnerability, for all those imminent crash-landings.
• Of course, the one power I really need is the one to actually fully read post instructions, as to not look like a dweeb... damn crap @#$&!
• Ok, maybe I'd rather have this one. (click around for more great powers)
• hmmm...i wonder if those 'super-kisses' would work on my shiny metal...never mind... i would like the ability to always speak (sensibly) in music lyrics although, being able to breathe solid rock would be cool, too... having a noodly appendage would be handy....oh..wait...
• Oh, let's not start with the prehensile tails and such.
• I too would like to stop time. Mainly so I could go on the rob with impunity, but I'd also occasionally save someone from a burning building etc. I think about having that superpower a lot more than is probably healthy.
• stripe, nice link! Duuude, I just scored some killer Batman! And this Robin is outta sight! Incidentally, mine would be total invulnerability. Just can't hurt me. It would be nice never having to be afraid of anything.
• Thought control. Yeah, Weezel, I mean YOU! Can't...resist...must....clean...horse stalls...must...brain...being cleaned of... perversity......ARRRGGGGH!
• I'd like to be able to imitate inanimate objects such as electric toothbrushes or scale-modeling magazines with unsurpassed acuity for detail. Or, perhaps the super-ability to mimic a telemarketer wouldn't be that bad of a way to get out of a phone convo, it sure beats the "going through a tunnel" thing, who believes that?
• Like kit (obviously), I always wanted the power to freeze time. However, I always coupled that with general powers over time like you find on your VCR remote. Pause. Stop. Fast forward. Rewind. The rewind function has always had its attractions -- you mess up, you want a do-over. But the fast forward is handy too. Buzz through inane conversations, cut down on wait times at the bank, that sort of thing. Plus, when coupled with the rewind, that gives you all the material support you'd need -- zip ahead, see who won tonight's game, zip back, bet on the winner, ta-daa! It may not sound like the most super of superpowers, but it would help out a lot in basic life-management.
• To create cheese at will.
• Holy shit, goetter. That is all.
• To create the surrounding area with a pleasant, not-overwhelming scent of fresh baked cinnamon rolls. At will. I'd need some kind of battle cry for that wouldn't I . . . something like . . "Pipin' Hot!"
• WOW! Flagpole has the power to actually IGNORE the post instructions and put anything he wants into the comment box. He truly is Master of the Universe. All bow to him and tremble! Please do not abuse your powers, kind Overlord
• I pick omnipotence.
• I pick parvipotence - having little power. No wait - I want "parviflorence", having little flowers.
• Ah, just for that, Cerulean Equine, you will be the first to fall under my awesome mind controll... ing powers. As I click 'Post', nothing but praise and apologizing words will be in every post you... eh, post on this monkeycage. Go! Mwaa mwaa mwaa! ... Oh, wait, I feel kinda tired today. We'll try it again tomorrow around 9:00, okay?
• Koko omnipotence is an anagram of "no impotence" want some viagra?
• Most definitely INVISIBILITY. I can't think of anything I could want or need to accomplish in life that would not be rendered simple if I could be invisible at will.
• Who said that?
• Sounded like it came from over there... *readies fog machine*
• *readies Stonehenge replica*
• I think that it would have been more convincing if it weren't in danger of being crushed by a dwarf!
• Sure thing, Flagpole. Have a nice rest. *puts hot water bottle under Flag's feet, pulls up blankie, turns out light, tiptoes out of thread
• Ahh... /starts to snooze Hey, wait, the pajamas! You forgot my pajamas!
• /at strong mental command, pajamas fly into the room from all directions, burying Flagpole up to this neck in warm fuzzy goodness
• Weezel: I hope you got the bunny 'jamies.
• /walks in, snaps fingers, watches flagpole descend for the next 9hrs.
• Ah. It's good to be king mind-controller! Eeeh... *snif snif* all these 'jamies weren't, you know, used by some of you monkeys, weren't they..?
• I would be able to footnote with a wave of my hand--in MLA or Turabian format, flawlessly.