Sorry, forks, but I couldn't bring myself to read that. Sexy for whom?
The guy is bonkers, but if he wants and enjoys to wear huge metal devices in his mouth, then that's up to him. I much prefer his fetish to others I have seen on the internets.
Gets The Bonel Prize for discovering a new way to be crazy.
Whooooo
Braces isn't even a start.
Too bad he doesn't have a barbershop fetish.
No. That was tacky of me.
He needs a haircut. Then he needs to lose the mouth-metal.
Beyond that, all I can say is, "Buddy, you ain't 16 anymore."
I feel unclean for having looked...twice.
I much prefer his fetish to others I have seen on the internets.
But that's the thing, it's not just his fetish. I assume that there's a demand out there that explains why the orthodontist has started selling fake braces. Also, it's interesting (to me) that the demand is for old-school metal braces, as he spends so much time explaining that he doesn't even put those kind in his patients anymore.
All I can say is: fronts for white people. damn.
niche, meet entrepreneur, entrepreneur, niche.
*shudders* i HATED my damn braces.
what? no spinners?
Maybe it's a "youthful" thing. Like the schoolgirl thing that tons of straight men have, only uh... different. That'd explain why they're old-school and not modern, since old-school is what the guy remembers from his own adolescence.
Um . . eww?
Maybe, Wurwilf. I wondered if it was a popularity thing. I remember from my school days that mainly the rich/popular kids had braces. Maybe the guy wants to feel like he was part of that crowd, and given his age the old school braces are the ones he has since fetishized.
Sheesh, I only had braces a year ago (in fact, I think they came off pretty much a year ago today) and loathed every second. If someone can fetishise that, good on them.
I see he has yet to discover/graduate to wearing those teeny rubber bands that linked your upper and lower jaw via being hooked on your canines. Anyone besides me have to wear those stupid things? I *hated* those. Do they even do that anymore?
Can I say what my actual first thought was?
What a fucking retard.
/blurt
Not meant to offend either the retarded, those who fuck, or gleefully homely guys with fake braces that appear to adhere via the buildup of plaque on his nasty-ass teeth.
PS. This guy is the poster child for why 99% of men with beards look like the boiled ass of a mangy hairy dog. And no. You are not the 1%. Trust me. Shave that hillbilly piece of crap right now.
There are escorts who specify no beards on their clients. That's right. The ladies literally won't fuck you if you pay them.
/tirade
This site makes me happy, much like the old-school modem handshaking sound makes me happy. It's just so innocent somehow. /reminisce
Let's take up a collection and buy the man a working carriage return key, though, ok?
Oh god... This just makes me think of myself at 15, being forced to eat corn on the cob at a family get-together... Metal, cement and cornsilk: in which circle of Hell can I expect to find that combination again?
You know it doesn't really matter that you won't fuck him with a beard and braces, because you won't be fucking him sans beard and braces either.
Hey, his hair is thinning too. Let's make fun of him for that also! What a baldy. I'm not going to fuck him because he's going bald! HAHAHA! Take that guy on the internet! That'll show him for not treating braces with the proper amount of shame they deserve.
"There are escorts who specify no beards on their clients."
How about a Frank Zappa moustache?
Uh, Mr. K. They are making fun of a guy who put braces on himself on purpose. There's a difference. Beards are grown on purpose, too. Generally, things you do to yourself intentionally are fair game for mockery, even for those who have standards for such things. There's no "I couldn't help it" as there is with, say, baldness. Apples and oranges.
...I'll get a cold compress for your ego. That was painful to watch.
His beard is a hair style choice. Sitting around saying "haha I won't fuck that guy I don't like his haircut" is exactly as pathetic as some dude on Fark saying the same thing about, I don't know, Bjork or some other chick.
Making fun of some because they where braces is also pathetic. This guy is actively taking steps to make people with braces not feel shame, and to feel comfortable with their body. He's taking the shame out of braces. To call his lifestyle choices harmless still implies more harm than there is; it's a helpful life style choice.
The thing that's painful to watch is people who's opinions I respect jump on someone for their lifestyle choices. Especially when they've had plenty of rocks thrown at their own glass house.
I didn't realize that it was cool fun and fun to make fun of people who live alternative lifestyles chioce. Only people who are forced into alternative lifestyles are safe from our ridicule? Hell, I can find all kinds of great FPPs to make then. Then we can sit around and talk about how we won't fuck them for having a different lifestyle choice, and then we can make fun of their hair styles and their teeth and whatever else we can find.
*sigh* Okay, someone's REALLY pissy that MJ's colleagues won't fuck him. But I'll address what you actually said.
It's not cool fun fun fun to tear people down randomly. You're projecting. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with "alternate lifestyles" - alternate compared to what? That's a normative worldview that I don't like much. There is no "alternate" unless there is a "normal." To me there's only different-a and different-b on down the line.
The point is that you choose to do xyz, and you cannot control others' reactions to it. "You're not allowed to not like it" makes little sense. Other people are not under your control. If you decree what they are permitted to think, they are under no obligation to obey you.
Dude, playing the "You're a big bad bully who likes to pick on slow kids!" card against me is the peak of laughable. I know you don't realize this, but it is. Not only am I that kid, always have been and always will be, but a good chunk of my adult hobbies are disastrously laughable, and I admit to that. (I'm one of the dorks who dresses up at conventions. An ugly one, not one of the hot chick ones. 'Nuff said.) The ability to suss out good-natured mockery from actual attacks is a valuable thing to cultivate.
I guess I draw the line at a different spot than you do. "That's weird and surprising to me" is different from "You're worthless." That's where I draw the line. I make fun of myself because I spend fucktons of money and time to help others look like idiots and occasionally look like an idiot myself. However, I also know that we do this because we enjoy it, and those with an ounce of self-respect don't give two farts what some random person on the internet thinks about it.
Dude with fake braces thinks it's hot. What we think doesn't matter. Anyone with sense is going to know that, and if they don't, then they need to learn it. That doesn't stop our right to think it's goofy. They are not mutually exclusive.
Also, I thought he had a fetish, not "This is a great moral victory for downtrodden beat-upon children everywhere!!"-ism.
Buuuuuut I'll get an ice pack instead, and perhaps we can hook you up with Simian XY to commiserate.
OK now it's getting funnier.
"What we think doesn't matter."
How dare you devalue my value-think!
/mopes
"I'm one of the dorks who dresses up at conventions."
/Wurwilf as Sailor Moon.
This time the party isn't so much fun.
"What we think doesn't matter. Anyone with sense is going to know that, and if they don't, then they need to learn it. That doesn't stop our right to think it's goofy. They are not mutually exclusive."
You are educated stupid. There are 4 simultaneous 24 hour days within a single rotation of earth!!! /splutter
"I make fun of myself because I spend fucktons of money and time to help others look like idiots and occasionally look like an idiot myself."
OK, I can make this process easier by cutting out most of the complex middle bit. Don't help others look like idiots, just send me fucktons of money and streamline the whole thing. You'll still get to make fun of yourself for looking like an idiot, and you can actually dress up to look like an idiot if you wish, but you will genuinely be an idiot without expending all that extra energy on helping others look like idiots. Plus, I promise to spend the money on coke, booze & hookers (as long as they can handle my beard) and paying for my wife's plastic surgery. Also, I will dress up as sailor moon, if asked.
Everyone wins!
Over the last fifteen or so years, I have heard from people who had braces and how much they didn't like them. I always thought, how bad could it be?
Real fucking bad.
Six years of hell, spread over the most socially awkward period possible, grades six through eleven.
Why put yourself through that sheer misery WITHOUT the benefit of the light at the end of the tunnel, that you'll be handsome and popular and chicks will dig you and your alligned incisors, I have no idea.
Sure, he's doing his best to take the 'shame' out of braces. I didn't feel shame. I just felt like a loser. I can't imagine how this guy would be helping anyone who was in the situation I found myself in. Probably, he'd make me feel worse. If it's just a fetish thing, well, I don't get it one bit, but hey -- I'm not him, and what do I care?
(Still bitter about my braces? What made you think that?)
So does he have a hard-on in all those pictures?
And another thing... What's with this Dr. Ted, hocking unnecessary orthodontics? Is that right, or is it no different from any other cosmetic surgery?
I just don't get it. Nevermind the yanking bones in your head every which way, braces slice and dice the insides of your cheeks. Or when the guy didn't cut the wire at the back cleanly enough, and it's stabbing you in the tonsil. Or when one of the wires pops out of its socket, and you have to walk around with this needle jabbing you every three seconds until you can make it in to the orthodontist's on Monday morning. Or when the entire socket lifts from the tooth, and you have this piece of metal scraping at your enamel all day long...
The horror! The horror!
(Allright, that's enough of the trip down memory lane for now...)
Tch, I enjoy looking stupid. It's fun. *clings to lookingstupidness*
And I wasn't Sailor Moon; I was a girl who turns into a wild boar when hugged by boys. As the girl, not the boar, although I look more like the boar. :)
I used to be terribly envious of the kids who got to wear glasses. I imagine it's a similar thing. My kid who has perfect vision has three or four pairs of glasses, and contact lenses, too. Whee!
this is sounding less and less like the thread where my hog gets serviced.
*checks directory*
I agree with Wurwilf. This guy is inviting criticism and even ridicule simply by virtue of the fact that he has a website openly diplaying his weirdness eccentricities...complete with pictures, no less.
...and I always specify no beards on my escorts, so I guess turnabout is fair play.
I'm not even saying he's inviting it - just that you have to kind of expect it. And deal with that, rather than shrieking that everyone has to love everything you do all the time.
What if an escort is a beard?
That's going to give me nightmares. My God.
Am I the only one who had braces for years and years and years (and yes, I had the headcap thingy, the retainer, the little rubber bands and everything), and wasn't ever made fun of for it?
Don't get me wrong, I was totally picked on for a variety of other things, but never my glasses or my pounds of shiny teethwear.
I also agree that if you put yourself out on the Intardnets, you have to know that somewhere, somebody's going to see your site and say "what an absolute asshole!". If you don't realize that, well, no harm done because you'll probably never meet those people anyway.
I was never picked on for my braces either, Lara, because more than half of my jr. high class had them as well. I still loathed them, though.
"That's weird and surprising to me" is different from "You're worthless."
That's my point, Wurwilf. The conversation changed from the former to the latter.
In other threads, when the conversation changed from "I disagree with Ann Coulter's politics" to "I wouldn't fuck that mangy dog Ann Coulter, I don't like her haircut" I've called them out for it and if I recall correctly, there's been at least one time where you were right there too, agreeing that it's bullshit to make it into about how fuckable someone is.
You're being intellectually and linguistically dishonest with your discription of what "alternative lifestyle" means.
Speaking of linguistical challenged, you keep alluding to a bruised ego of mine. I'm not sure what you think a bruised ego is, but your use of the term is distant from it's actual meaning. The term hasn't been appropriate for any person in this thread.
...because you won't be fucking him sans beard and braces either
Really? Because that's what I thought I did for a living.
This guy is actively taking steps to make people with braces not feel shame, and to feel comfortable with their body. He's taking the shame out of braces.
Huh. Because I thought he was trying to take the shame out of being precious. That didn't work either.
I've had braces. Twice. Headgear, rubber bands, the whole kazoo. I wasn't ashamed, but they did hurt and looked stupid. Since I know braces hurt and look stupid, this guy and his "Look At Me, I'm Sandra Dee" style website is just as fair game as some dude who sticks lit matches up his nose at parties.
I didn't realize that it was cool fun and fun to make fun of people who live alternative lifestyles chioce.
You should really check out this whole Internet thing...ask for Peter Pan Man :)
> Beards are grown on purpose, too.
well, not really. being cleanshaven is on purpose. beards just grow.
and no matter what colour your hair is, your beard will be partly ginger/red (turning to white as you age).
"no matter what colour your hair is, your beard will be partly ginger/red (turning to white as you age)"
This is complete nonsense! I challenge you to a duel!
I meant that you allow beards to grow intentionally, silly, no need to nitpick.
In other threads, when the conversation changed from "I disagree with Ann Coulter's politics" to "I wouldn't fuck that mangy dog Ann Coulter, I don't like her haircut"
So... you're saying that "I wouldn't fuck them" equals "they're worthless." ...that's a little scary. So if you get married and stay monogamous, you're saying that every other person on earth is worthless? That if you're hetero, people of your own sex are worthless? Since when is worth bestowed by one's genitals? That's disturbing.
Nobody talked about worthlessness. That line wasn't crossed.
You're being intellectually and linguistically dishonest with your discription of what "alternative lifestyle" means.
No, I'm describing what I think of the term. I don't like it and I refuse to use it. I kind of went over that.
Oh, as for the bruised ego: MJ said that some of her colleagues had no-beards clauses. You promptly went ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC. The extreme vitriol in your comment led me to wonder whether you might be taking her statement very personally, as though you personally were being "judged as worthless" by these unnamed persons.
It's a leap, but I think it's a reasonable leap.
I dunno, Chyren, I've got brown hair and a red-orange beard. My dad has black hair, and (when he grows it out) a red-orange beard. Both of us have at least a few white beard hairs (Ugh - did I just admit that?). That's two on roryk's side, what's your competing evidence?
(And mj, I keep it trimmed to 1/4 inch. No bushy mangy dog-ass beard for Dr. Frogs.)
Huzzah for Dr Frogs and his well-thought facial hair!
My cleanshaven husband has dark hair and ginger stubble. There are redheads in his family so I just assumed he inherited some of that. But maybe it's a guy thing, instead.
I love everyone!
I grow dark blonde with blonde streaks. Kinda neato, but the beard thing really doesn't suit me. And now that I know what moneyjane's said, I'm even less inclined to grow one.
And by say 'grow one', I meant the beard. Which isn't to say that I really CAN grow one, since it's so splotchy.
What was I talking about again?
So... you're saying that "I wouldn't fuck them" equals "they're worthless." ...that's a little scary. So if you get married and stay monogamous, you're saying that every other person on earth is worthless? That if you're hetero, people of your own sex are worthless? Since when is worth bestowed by one's genitals? That's disturbing.
No, that's a shockingly huge leap to a point so far afield of what he was actually saying that it can only technically be considered a part of the same discussion. I suggest you give Chyren his coke money now.
|^|y 8aL|z 0ovvN j0o!
Whoa...somebody already gave it to Pete and he spent it on meth 'n' Pop Rocks!
Well, here's what I based it on.
"That's weird and surprising to me" is different from "You're worthless."
That's my point, Wurwilf. The conversation changed from the former to the latter.
In other threads, when the conversation changed from "I disagree with Ann Coulter's politics" to "I wouldn't fuck that mangy dog Ann Coulter, I don't like her haircut"...
end quote.
He brought in "worthlessness" because of the refusal to service these individuals. I am not the one who linked them. Thanks.
Dear Wurwilf, yes, you indeed are. Let's look at the quote again without the convenient snipping at the end (which you have performed twice, now):
In other threads, when the conversation changed from "I disagree with Ann Coulter's politics" to "I wouldn't fuck that mangy dog Ann Coulter, I don't like her haircut" I've called them out for it and if I recall correctly, there's been at least one time where you were right there too, agreeing that it's bullshit to make it into about how fuckable someone is.
Do you really not see that his whole point here is that it's cheap and low to laugh at people because they look different or pursue a different lifestyle or aesthetic? Do you really completely miss the point of the analogy, that we should be criticizing people's ideas and beliefs, and not laughing at what they choose to wear? That his argument is in fact the exact opposite of the portrait you're trying to paint of him as some narcissistic misogynist who only finds value in people he'd like to fuck? Did you just not read the "it's bullshit to make it into about how fuckable someone is" part?
I have a very, very hard time believing that.
If this man can afford this kind of dental work, he's anything but worthless.
light brown hair... 5 different facial hair colors: blond, brown, red, black and white. current facial hair: nancent goatee. (mj- do you have a goatee policy? oh wait, doesn't really matter, i prefer outies to innies...)
and I still think that it's a little odd to fetishize one of the most unpleasant parts of our (those who had braces) adolescence. worthlessness and fuckablilty have nothing to do with it. i'm just reacting as one who cannot fathom this guy's desires. my friend has a great expression for those who choose to do things we do not understand: "They're just not like us."
Goatees are fine; it's the full-face smotherers that really don't do anyone any favours; even George Clooney looks nasty in one, and that's hard to do.
...we should be criticizing people's ideas and beliefs, and not laughing at what they choose to wear?
Incidently, Mr. Knickerbocker, that's exactly what I was doing; criticizing this guy's belief that finding an orthodontist to custom make him obsolete braces to satisfy a visual fetish. The fact that he predictably looks like a complete dork after doing so and displaying himself in giant photos on the Internet is the end of the process, not the beginning. I guess I should have brought the Power Point out and not presumed that was painfully obvious unless one chose to willfully misinterpret me in accordance with some agenda of one's own.
Now if this post had been titled something like; Archeologist Thinks He's Found Ancient Kingdom of the Magic Unicorns, and featured a photo of this guy pointing out unicorn bones in the field, and some wiseass commented, "Dude! Unicorns are rad! But that guy is a fucking ugly dumb cock because he's got braces. I'd feel like there was a problem.
How 'bout soul patches? Or something a buddy of mine came back from Mongolia with: a "Weeger chin muff"?
The latter of which is sort of how I'm wearing the old facial hair of late. Light brown with auburn and silver streaks.
ONe thought helps me through life, both fulsomely bearded and beardless:
Never rejext anyone with secondsary sex characteristics.
"no matter what colour your hair is, your beard will be partly ginger/red (turning to white as you age)"
This is complete nonsense! I challenge you to a duel!
cool. as weapons, i choose large black puddings!
My hair is dark brown, my skin olive. My armpit hair is red.
Is this some Orangutan thing?
> Is this some Orangutan thing?
it's one of the eternal truths.
*slaps chest repeatedly, forages*
"cool. as weapons, i choose large black puddings!"
Foolish grasshopper! I am skilled in the arts of Ecky Thump!
damnit, i knew i should've opted for banjoes
*raises black pudding over shoulder*
My beard is a glorious affair, stretching from chin to shin.
ZZ Topcicle
Gee, Trac, I don't know how you do it. Mine's just a little patch that barely covers my...
Oh, God!
*puts hands over red face, turns, hurries out of public space*
weirdnesseccentricities...complete with pictures, no less. ...and I always specify no beards on my escorts, so I guess turnabout is fair play.