March 15, 2005

"I Have Given You my Advice" : Educational Principles in the Hittite Empire. OK, you don't give a damn about the Hittite Empire. But there's killer stuff here:

There once was a waiter called Zidi. The father of the king ordered a harhara-cup of wine for Histayara and Maratti, but he, Zidi, served the king good wine and different wine was given to them. Thereupon one of them said to the king: "They did not give me the wine the king saw." Thereupon the other spoke likewise. They took Zidi away, maltreated him and he died.
So don't be like Zidi! (Or Mariya, who you'll meet later in the article.) And I know some of you are just dying to make a limerick using the post title. Don't let me stop you.
  • the Hittite Great King Suppiluliuma I best. kingly. name. ever.
  • There once was a waiter called Zidi Who served the best wine or then, did he? The drinkers complained Zidi's detained Don't you do something as giddy.
  • OK, you don't give a damn about the Hittite Empire. Don't be so sure; I've had a copy of this book on the shelf for many years (a remnant of my brief flirtation with anthropology as a college major). The Hitties are actually pretty amazing. Great link!!!
  • There once was a waiter called Zidi Who served up the wrong wine- quite seedy. They clapped him in chains And on his remains Constructed a proverb quite meaty.
  • the_bone: Damn, that book looks good -- I'll have to read it. And I note that the first reader review at the moment is by Suppiluliuma himself!
  • Alas, for the waiter named Zidi, whose eventual end was too hide- ous: stinginess is a vice and kings don't tell you twice -- Zidi's exit thus ended in tragedy.
  • OK, you don't give a damn about the Hittite Empire. Actually, I don't give a shittite about the Hittites.
  • There once was a waiter called Zidi Whose wine was not good but acid-ey But mark well this tale For he ended in jail And was killed for his miser's perfidy.
  • "Hey! Get me that waiter named Zidi! From me he'll get no gratu-ity! Did you serve me this wine? 'Cause the King's drink is fine, But this here Liebfraumilch is just shitty"
  • Hey! I give a motherfucking goddam about the bastarding Hittites! I loved those guys! (Actually, I didn't really know the first thing about them - for me, they fell in exactly the wrong time and place. Just after prehistory and just before history, not quite Europe but not quite the Fertile Crescent, just to the left of archaeology and then first right after classics. So thanks, LH! Now I know so much more than I did before...)
  • Anyone feel inspired to create a limerick starring King Suppiluliuma?
  • I give a damn about the hittites, and I even know a few things about them (more now!)
  • A culture where this is a name Is great and deserves all its fame. Suppiluliuma Can thank his folks' humor But to rhyme him is simply insane. Say 'humor' so it rhymes properly. It doesn't look right if I write it 'huma''...
  • Suppiluliuma was King And diplomacy a delicate thing. He concocted a story- A dire allegory- Of a man and his death for lusting. I think I'm having too much fun with this.
  • [this is good]
  • There was a King Suppiluliuma who may have inspired Moctezuma He took on the pharaohs without bows or arrows Cum laude his tributes were summa.
  • islander- nice! I couldn't rhyme it properly without either using 'puma' or going to another language.
  • Ancient king Suppiluliuma Reborn on a beach we call Zuma, Spied young libertines Groping each other's jeans And screamed "Hey Punks! Go get a rooma!" And then he had them executed.
  • I knew a bit about the Hittites but now they interest me. Salute!
  • By hook or by crook and by golly! Those Hittites would all learn their folly. These proverbs they'd master, And learn from disaster, For death makes a forceful finale.
  • If you're ever the guest of a Hittite, Wait for your wine & just sit tight While the help's in the kitchen Insinuate switchin' And prepare for a helluva fistfight
  • Suppiluliuma = Hittitebashi
  • There once was a waiter called Zidi with wine, he was known for perfidy while wining a regent swapped wine for reagent And now he's hist'ry. There once was a man named Mariya who said to servant, "I see ya" Father-in-law this lech he saw M. was dead before he could flee-ah. There once was King Hattusili Whose nephew was quite chilly "My grandson," he said "will reign when I'm dead," "But wait 'til you're old to to get silly."
  • (ooh, that should be "swapped red for reagent")
  • ))) to languagehat for an inspireding post!!!
  • King Suppiluliuma, now he's my baby, lays down the law and I don't mean maybe... Well he's the guy with the Hittite throne He's the King of great renown, He's the one who gives us advice, Better believe he won't tell you twice...
  • Suppiluliuma a-wop-bam-boom.
  • Wolof, you're always trying beat up the wops for some damn thing. I really think you need to take some sensitivity lessons from crackpotiluliuma.
  • man, you guys are good! limericks always intimidated me. haikus are hard enough!
  • Quidnunciluliuma: what have you got against do-wop?
  • There once was a King named Suppiluliuma The Hittites called him the Big Kahuna He married his sister To some hirsute old mister With a Lothario's appetite for tuna
  • O'er grassy knolls my stocking strolls -- it's bootless to complain, it just steps out again. The sock may balk at taking a walk unless within a shoe. The sock that's celadon is crazed and leads one further on than one of wool can do.