June 28, 2006

Shhh!! Most Americans don't know Canada is their biggest oil supplier. Then again neither did I.
  • I didn't know that either. Kudos!
  • Let's invade!
  • I actually read an article about this a few months ago. According to the above article, Canada supplies us with: "vast oil sands." This means that the oil is mixed with sand, and needs to be separated. Which, in turn, decreases the amount of gas made from each ton of oil sand. However, the oil harvested from the middle east is almost pure enough to put directly in your gas tank. Since oil is used to make plastics and a million other things, I would hazard a guess that most of the oil gained from Canada does not end up in your gas tank, but instead ends up in plastics and other oil-based products. Which, still, is a ton of oil we import, but not the "good stuff."
  • Well, that's crude!
  • I don't think so. I mean, yes we do have to extract the oil from sand, but the extracted stuff is as good as crude from Saudi Arabia or anywhere else after processing. The downside is that it costs more to process the tarsands than it does to drill a well in Saudi Arabia, but with the price of oil so high it's recently become quite a profitable venture.
  • Are there...brown people there?
  • Wait 'til we start exporting poutine!
  • This is just another desperate attempt by Canada to get the US to notice them.
  • We got it all baby!!!!
  • *Heads up North to find a Canadian oil sheik, dabbing Molson behind each ear*
  • There's got to be enough grease in a decent poutine to drive one to the bar.
  • Let's invade! Did someone say "WMDs?"
  • Thinking about invasion ... Let's see we gots the oil, we gots the fresh water, we gots the nickel, iron ore and uranium, we gots the forests, the North West Passage, we gots all that. We also gots the world's longest undefended border. We gots ta be teh stupid.
  • Oh, wait. We also have Hedy Fry. Phew! we're safe after all.
  • And that other one--you know, the shreeker. And you forgot to mention the best ginger ale in the world. Yup, Canada's got it all. ...the world's longest undefended border... Thank t'Lud for the Mounties!
  • Then why are we??? What about the trip to??? CRAP.
  • I thought it was Venezuela, a quick Google search tells me they're actually the third. I think I was confusing it with first-response-to-Katrina news that I heard. 60 Minutes did a news story on the oil sands in Alberta recently (I think it was Sunday, sorry I can't find a link), but they insinuated that the US wasn't using the oil sands to its fullest potential, or even that the US wasn't even buying the oil coming from the oil sands. It may have been an older new story, I suppose.
  • Did someone say "WMDs?" Weapons of Molson-induced Drunkeness.
  • Or, alternately: Weapons of McKenzie (Doug).
  • Debaser626: yes, Canada is the largest supplier of refined oil to the US, and we also have a large amount available in the Alberta tar sands. Currently, most of the oil we supply is from conventional wells, although tar sands are starting to play a larger role in our oil supply. Interestingly, Iran doesn't even make it into the top 15.
  • A lot of Venezuela's oil is sour and heavy, and goes for a steep discount. Like some women I have known.
  • And you forgot to mention the best ginger ale in the world. Vernors isn't Canadian. Available here, yes, but based in Michigan. We have the water, we have the oil. And we're doing our best to give them away. Why do we keep sending self-hating bastards to Ottawa?
  • We're also the biggest electricity exporter to the US. With Mexico as a distant second. A lot of it is Hydro-electricity from Quebec.
  • And you forgot to mention the best ginger ale in the world. And Canada Mints! Big, chalky, crumbly lozenges of pink-and-white Grandma's-purse goodness.
  • I'm so jaded to the heavily slanted US media that my first thought was, "oh sure, and look who's saying that... the CBC." I forget that proper journalism and truthfully reported facts still live outside US borders.
  • When we were in Canada, there was an advertisement on the television from some Canadian tourist bureau that stated Canada was the "greatest country in the world." I looked at my hubby and said, "I've been told all my life that America was the greatest country in the world. Now I'm all confused! Which one is right?" His reponse: "Every country says that it's the greatest country in the world, so its people will stay and continue paying taxes." Hmm.
  • Canadian oil is like Canadian women: light, sweet and crude.
  • I think we Americans have to admit it: Canada kicks ass. We should be nicer to Canada, buy more oil from them, delight in their light, sweet and crude women, snarfle their delicious Molson with glee, collectively tell those snotty twerps in Venezuela and Saudi Arabia to go piss up a rope.
  • ...and it has less trans-fats.
  • ...and it has less trans-fats. I hope you're talking about food additives and not overweight drag queens.
  • Careful there, Fes about snarfling Molson, at least if you're doing it in Canada. You don't order a Molson up here, you order the brand. And you'd be surprised what some of those Molson brands are. Canadian, Export, Dry, and even Rickard's Red are Molson brands. But so are Coors, Coors Light and Corona, all brewed in CA exclusively by Molson, with licensing rights from their North American neighbors (er, neighbours). But be smart and have a Moosehead, eh? Or maybe a 10W30.
  • MonkeyFilter: I hope you're talking about food additives and not overweight drag queens. *digs deep into purse, finds old Canada mint, blows off fuzz and dog hair You little sweetie. This is just for you, TUM!
  • Huh - I've never seen Canada Mints here. Betcha they're murkin.
  • FREEDOM MINTS! (Available only in Quebec.)
  • And, speaking of Molson, I'm surprised that the topic of good 'ol Canadian cannabis imports to the US hasn't been mentioned...
  • Canadian WMDs: Wild Moose Droppings
  • Much more dangerous than the tame ones, don't-you-know.
  • What the elk is goin' on in here?
  • Nothing gnu.
  • We're just yakkin'.
  • oh deer.
  • My hart! Get thee be hind me, Santa.
  • D'oe!
  • moose be happy hour again
  • All this talk about Molson, makes me want to go to the store and bison.
  • Hah! According to this random website, Canada Mints come from Canada. So there!
  • Also, I totally think we should all enter this contest. "Do you have a childhood memory about Canada Mints? Receive a $10.00 Candy you ate as a kid® gift certificate if we use your story here. To share your story, click here!" I'll start: Once, when my mom forgot to get groceries and there was nothing in the house but old bourbon and butter wrappers, I found a Canada Mint® at the bottom of one of the heat ducts behind the couch. First, I used a dead rat to pry the cover off, but when I reached in for the mint, my arm got stuck! Well, you can imagine my consternation...
  • I'm amazed, Laura - I'd never heard of them before. But then, it took me a while to figure out what was meant by Canadian Bacon, too. Looks around nervously for Medusa.
  • ...when the rat turned out to be not dead, but rather undead. Yes, that's right, it was a zombie rat. "Brains," it squeaked, "must eat human child's brains." (It seemed that joining the ranks of the undead had also bestowed upon my rodentine-tool the ability to speak!)
  • I believe you're referring to the demon rat monkey of Peter Jackson's immortal classic Dead Alive. Now get Mum's ear out of the custard.
  • You know, I've always thought of Canada as more of philosophy than as an auctual place.
  • And that's why you'll be asleep when the invasion comes!
  • Invasion of the Canadians or the zombie rats? I'm confused.
  • Top Ten Signs That The Canadian Invasion May Be Imminent: 10. Large piles of shoes have been left at all border crossings. 9. The NHL season has a) come to a close; b) been cancelled. 8. Both of the military helicopters are missing. 7. Long-term rentals of Ft. Lauderdale beachfront apartments are readily available. 6. Peter Mansbridge has painted his scalp red. 5. The maple syrup at International House of Pancakes has a slight anthraxy odor. 4. Four weeks after the fact, Las Vegas entertainment-seekers realize that Celine Dion has been replaced by a horse in a silk dress. 3. Canada Dry unveils new Sarin Ale product. 2. Alan Thicke returns to prime time TV. 1. Dick Cheney declares Canadian discontent with American trade policy "in its last throes, if you will".
  • "Four weeks after the fact, Las Vegas entertainment-seekers realize that Celine Dion has been replaced by a horse in a silk dress." So cruel. But so funny. I needed that laugh this morning after my convoluted phone conversation with the IRS.
  • Hooo! I got a laugh, too.
  • And you forgot to mention the best ginger ale in the world. Ok, as a Canadian, I appreciate the comment, but the truth is more important. Canada has TERRIBLE ginger ale. I mean, it's just as good as American, but that isn't saying much. The best ginger ale I've ever had was in Canada, but it was brewed "Jamaican style" - and my friend from Australia assures me that Canada dry is like flat water compared to what they have over there. I'm still waiting in anticipation for my other friend from NZ to brew her own ginger ale from a lot of ginger, some water, some sugar and some yeast, as she promises to soon. Also, Canada is a mediocre country for beer. We have our good microbrews, but those better beers are the same quality as a lot of standard pub fare in Britain, and our best beers (like Unibroue's trappist ales - excellent) draw on more well-established traditions from Belgium and elsewhere. Now Belgium - that's the country you want to do a beer tour in. So in summary: Canada is a great country, we have excellent health care and a nice flag, but generally mediocre beer (and piss poor stuff from Molson's and Labatts), and we don't drink much alcohol at all.
  • Don't forget Nanaimo bars! Yummm!
  • Canadian oil is old and busted. Spanish phytoplankton crude is the new hotness.
  • that's very interesting. *strokes invisible goatee*
  • Spanish plankton? Spankton?
  • plankton with potatoes.
  • Well, now we gotta beef up whaling, stop those fat, greedy bastards from eating our oil...
  • Fight! O plankton - greenly thrash lest ye be warmth for trailer trash Hide yourselves! and wane in summer do not fuel some moron's Hummer Beware the sieve, the net eschew Balleen's a nobler Waterloo. Sink to depths profoundly ebon spurn an early chloroheav'n
  • ))))), fish tick!
  • Yay! )))! *snif* *applause*
  • fish tick, that was kriller!
  • Beware the sieve, the net eschew Balleen's a nobler Waterloo. Pure genius. *wipes tear*
  • Arriba!
  • Wait, I'm confused, this Spanish plankton of which you speak, it's some kind of veneral disease? And it has infected Canadians?! But, but, but that would mean Canadians would have had to have sex?! The mind reels, the stomach boggles, the entrails enclench at the very thought!!!!!!!
  • I love this sentence: Single-cell specimens are the sweet spot of most research. Alliteritastic.