October 05, 2005

Care Bear Stare! We Monkeys could invent better catch phrases with our tails behind our backs! I know, of course, that you can't 'make' a catch phrase, but silliness must prevail in the face of logic. Propose three, and, if desired, how and when one might say them.

I'll start; "Dat one funky...smell like monkey" Used in reaction to anything strange. "That Chiclet's been chewed, Humpy" Indicates some action is too late. "Where my panda!" Said to indicate confusion.

  • I'm still trying to popularize "Make of it what you will, homeslice!" Admittedly, I'm having minimal success. I have had some traction with "Why don't you munch on a mouthful of my taint!" (used in response to unreasonable requests) and "Later, gator!" (used upon departure).
  • "Who ordered the big bucket of 'Blow me'?" Said to one who has wronged you.
  • Can't help but imagine Popeye saying that, MJ.
  • How about, when we like something, we can say that it's "cool." Not to indicate temperature, mind you, but simply to signify that we admire it. Do you guys think that that's "cool"?
  • "Cool" is the new "black".
  • Am I the only one who lived in the eighties to call "no way" on half of those? I think these might have been things this particular guy and his weird little friends said as in-jokes. So he can frost my cupcakes with a paper knife.
  • I love what I call southernisms, such as: Well he's about the ugliest (meanest, cheapest) person God let live! That's (He's, She's) been around since dirt was new. Well bless your (his, her) heart! (Which of course means "I hate you with the heat of a thousand suns.") I know we're supposed to make up new ones, but I have a cold so I feel way too meh and yucky to try... but I still wanted to play.
  • "You just don't fit in." - for any bannination by Bashi (wearing her Martha wig) "I'd buy that for a dollar." - used to agree with a derailing comment "You got that right, sister!" - any awkward attempt to curry favor with another monkey
  • Ah, so that's Martha's catchphrase. I'm guessing we'll be seeing that over here soon enough. *shudder* Oh man, I need to watch Robocop.
  • How about, when we like something, we can say that it's "cool." > Dude. That'll never fly.
  • This is about as useful as tits on a frog.
  • "This was the wrong day to stop huffing glue." - when bad news arrives "Your {memo|voicemail|email|written screed} received the attention it deserved." - Your {memo|voicemail|email|written screed} was discarded. "Now with more foo." Correct response to marketroid's statement.
  • These aren't new but if you don't like 'em you can ...go peel an eel! Or alternately: "Rotate, Mac!"
  • This is about as useful as tits on a frog. I like my frogs bosomy. But I still ain't lettin' them out of the kitchen.
  • "meat-flavored pez" - someone who just doesn't get it. this has a history with me, my friend, and some nameless woman who works at a fast food burger place. about 7 years ago, they were having a promotion with the chain's character as the head of the Pez dispenser. I asked the woman behind the counter "What flavor do the Pez come in? Meat-flavored?" All I received in return was the blankest of stares, while my friend and I tried our best not to burst into uncontrollable laughter, and a phrase entered my lexicon.
  • I used to try "Please put my penis in your mouth!" to indicate that I thought someone was well-dressed. It, ah...it didn't catch on.
  • I've tried before to plant meme seeds, including: "UGOTO" (the acronym for Uncanny Grasp of The Obvious) "SlashDOS" (for a website broken by being linked by a popular site) "Loan Gunman" (an asshole with an unlimited line of credit) "Jokish Poll" (an unreliable statistic) "Seperated at Mirth" (two people with a single personality) "30,000 Pounds of Bananas" (something tragic, but also funny, from Harry Chapin's least serious song) "Photoslop" (an obviously faked picture) "Flamingorilla" (soft fuzzy outside, bone crushing inside) "Blogheads" (online obsessives similar to "Dead Heads" "Cheese Heads" and "Ditto Heads") "And Now a Word From Our Alternate Sponsor" (an attempt to change the subject...) "All Seriousness Aside..." (an attempt to force a lighten-up) "Cut Off Your Slauson" (a variation of 'Don't Go There' with Johnny Carson flavor) ...to which I add the MoFi specific: "MonkeyLifter" (somebody who's trying to hijack or dominate a thread)
  • And a stitch in time saves a second. [Appropriate for a sew-sew joke] Ah, tell it t' the merinos! [Approrpiate for one who has been fleeced] [Suitable for a-dressing self in mirror] Get on with it, ye gormless son-of-a-queen!
  • Serious as a heart attack.
  • ...to which I add the MoFi specific: "MonkeyLifter" (somebody who's trying to hijack or dominate a thread) Not to be a MonkeyLifter, but is this intended to echo "shirt lifter"?
  • "Who ordered the big bucket of 'Blow me'?" - said to one who has wronged you. Or hired you. ;)
  • There was a good one on "The West Wing" a year or two back "And where are you from?" "Where am I from? I'm from the United States of Suck My Dick." Expletive interrupted, of course.
  • "That's our gift to you" in place of either "you're so screwed" or "fuck you" when it is you yourself who is performing said fucking. I've been enjoying moderate success with it.
  • "Monkey Poo Fling!" Callout for when snarkiness that's characteristic to MeFi carries over to MoFi. ;)
  • "It's 6am, we've got a quart of Manishevitz and six weasels in a cage. Let's pants 'em!" -- sorry. Failing miserably.
  • "Who ordered the big bucket of 'Blow me'?" - said to one who has wronged you. Or hired you. ;) It's what I say when they open the hotel door. Loudly.
  • Anyone you don't like, you could say:
  • I like it Skrik. How about "I hate your fugly badditude, you mugly other?
  • as exciting as a clam's ass yea, I like that--like I like cat vomit you make my skirt go worffle
  • Whatever stuffs your donkey!