February 12, 2004

• Nonprofit administrator
• Maths major.
• Commercial real-estate developer; firefighter; computer programmer
• Gyan must be english :-) I'm a data analyst and part-time raconteur.
• To get Kimberly to the point where she doesn't know if she should laugh or cry. In my spare time, I'm a system administrator for a learning management system.
• unemployed
• I'm a web developer and web content administrator who's anxiously awaiting the announcement that I can quit and go back to graduate school to study digital media studies. (I also spent a lot of time on the verge of laughter or tears. ;)
• Hardware Design Engineer, sometimes moonlighting as a gadabout.
• Professional tennis player. Then I wake up and realize I'm a video producer/production manager/Jill of all your video organizational needs.
• Temp to the entertainment biz.
• Financial services marketing executive.
• Please put your safeties back ON, thanks :)
• Okay, I alluded to it in the Texas pharmacy thread, so I'll fess up: I'm a corporate lawyer. And a recently converted SCUBA enthusiast, harboring fantasies of fleeing the firm for a nice tropical island.
• Unemployed accounting drone with 10 years in engineering billing and 5 years in commissions who is trying to use my temporary disability to redefine myself as a writer... (see this), although I did a lot of part-time writing back in the days I was capable of multitasking... In other words, I'm having world-class middle age crisis and I'll be begging SideDish for a job within the week...
• Student dullard
• Some combination of student, anthropologist, mother of a one-year-old, library drone, general all-round nice person, wannabe programmer, crazy chick.
• So, no actual monkeys, then...
• Fes: I work at an investment management company. Ahoy!!
• Professional Actor and Acting Professor.
• Cowboy. Yep, ridin' and ropin', whiskey drinkin', whore-chasin', tobakee-chawin', hell raisin' cowboy. Wait, did I say cowbay? I meant corporate drone for an advertising distribution company.
• Program Manager at a Rockefeller Foundation funded nonprofit in NYC. ooooh yeah.
• On the weekends, I'm a bounty hunter.
• Editor/Web Content and Production Manager
• Computer Engineering Student. Future unemployed programmer. Part-time drunkard.
• Let the corporate scumbag lovefest commence! *loosens tie slightly*
• Law librarian, mother of two boys under 5 years.
• We are monkeys, with professions. Corporate drone/software programmer (actual job), university research assistant, game designer, pencil artist, casual contributor for small press zines, fiction writer (bad), music composer (worse than bad), and entrepeneur of a small defunct comics studio (I still managed to sell all issues, at half the price, and recover all expenses).
• Ohhh, and, on weekends, I'm a professional luddite.
• Retired accountant/finance manager. The job I liked best was with a winery/brandy distiller. The company I worked for longest was a mainframe computer and dasd seller.
• Another lawyer crashing the party. Like I need another excuse not to hit my billable target.
• Media creative. I think up new TV shows for a the company who make Big Brother and Changing Rooms and other such illuminating entertainments. Although I'm currently taken up with researching a book on the history of reality TV for the bloke who runs the company. As a sort of redemption, I'm also a writer and comedian, though I've not yet figured out how one gets paid for that. Bugger. I take pride - a tiny, feeble, sliver of pride - from the fact that I at least have the decency to shudder whenever I say the words 'media creative'.
• Network Nazi
• So it's your fault!!! Except that I really like Changing Rooms. Nevermind. Carry on.
• Engineering student by day. Drunk by mid-afternoon. Evenings?
• How come no one's said Cockpuncher? I'm a web designer/documentation specialist, but my real job is writing.
• Monkeys, looks like the 'bring MeFi down so we can get their members' plan is ... oops.
• Book reviewer, bass player, web step and fetchit monkey, language teacher.
• Techsupport for tape storage libaries. Wannabe network nazi. Kinda ex-classical musician (but want to get back into it).
• Classics major, law school applications this fall.
• Grad student, either three months or six months away from a PhD in physics (really astronomy, but they don't have an astronomy PhD here).
• composer/saxophonist or maybe the other way round.
• Electrical Engineer and itinerant Energy Consultant.
• Editor.
• Scratching myself and staring out my cage. -or- College student currently substitute teaching while I await a semester abroad.
• Embedded Systems Progammer Sometimes an Expert Witness for IP cases.
• Embedded Systems Programmer Sometimes an Expert Witness for IP cases.
• I'm a former advertising manager currently down in Cuernavaca MX in Spanish language school. I really don't want to go home and get a job so please send money.
• I work for a funeral home. No, really.
• I'm impressed that we've gotten this far without anybody hitting anybody up for a job. Coldchef : your job is only morbid in the context of your nickname.
• I'm impressed that we've gotten this far without anybody hitting anybody up for a job. Coldchef : your job is only morbid in the context of your nickname.
• web designer/developer/slacker.
• International Jewel Thief/Astronaut/Ballerina ; > (really Production Manager for a bunch of magazines)
• Another journalist here. Rockstar off hours.
• Systems librarian
• I just got an email today about my new job title. I'm swinging from Project Manager to Manager of Customer and Vendor Programs for a web hosting company.
• In-House Software Fulfiller
• Part time physical trainer, full time live in nanny/maid/cook etc. got awful crowded in here, dinnit?
• Systems Administrator for a graphic design company.
• *copious weeping* You all have LIVES. REAL LIVES. Not gainfully employed here. I'm a 50-year-old GramMa being paid a pittance* for watching my three grandkids, ages 6, 3, and 2. I SO badly want to interact with someone over three feet high. Except that I'm now terminally irritable. *The unemployed ex- can't seem to get his sh*t together to provide for the three kids he's got, but he's on the way to Reno the end of the month to marry a little Mormon girl and procreate more, no doubt. (Happy Valentine's Day, lil'darlin'. You're sure gettin' a prize with THAT one.)
• Theatre Management Professor
• I study dead people in dusty dusty places. (aka history grad, and actually the archives I've been in were quite pleasantly aired) That said, the only drawback is that I might be in danger of losing my love for books. I'll see after my oral examinations next year, for which I will have spent the year reading at least one academic book a day. Blue Horse - don't worry, you're not the only one without a real life - the difference is that I don't know whether it's a bad thing, or a very very good thing.
• Blue Horse - I'm a full-time mother, I just do stuff like this to keep myself sane. I'm also about to go back to work part-time, so I think I'm about to gallop right through sane and back out the other side. :) Will you be our GramMa? Monkeys need grandparents too!
• BlueHorse, my grandma watched my 2 brothers and I every day while my mom worked. I treasured her and I treasure the memories of those times! Don't feel like you're not gainfully employed at all--really!
• Science grad student. Yay. Snort, push glasses up nose, fling test tubes.
• Porn star
• Ex-real programmer, Web programmer, Technical Writer/Re-writer of esoteric diet instructions translated from japanese. And slacker, hardcore slacker...
• When we (whoever it was, sorry) started Curious, George, someone else commented that it might not do as well as AskMeFi because we have fewer members and therefore fewer professions/life experiences to offer. I'm going to beg to differ right about now. And lkc, how on earth do you get into rewriting translated Japanese diet instructions as a job/career?
• I live in Los Angeles and work in the "entertainment industry", which means I freelance. I have worked in the last few months as a filmmaker for industrials, a video editor, a creative director in themed entertainment, a personal trainer, a graphic designer and a production assistant... I miss the 90's when companies called me, instead of me begging them for work.
• WOOHOO! My scheme worked. Honestly, I could care less about Mefi and Mofi being offline [only kind of kidding] but I have missed AskMe. How about Monkey Knowledge, and call it MoKnow? Plus it's really cool to see what kind of job distribution we have going as a community...
• I need to not pretend I am working when I post here. That should read--

  Honestly, I could care less about Mefi and MeTa being offline...

• Now 'MoKnows' is something I could really get into.
• Moknows baseball. Moknows football.
• Elementary music teacher (formerly a high school choral director, until my job got cut. Thanks, Jeb Bush!). Adjunct instructor of voice at a community college. Conductor of a gay men's chorus (interestingly enough, I'm straight). Tenor. Husband. Prophet.
• Game designer. (PC, online, to be exact.) But I used to be a web designer, and I wanted to be a journalist once, so I fit in this thread just fine!
• Librarian. I could say "Ook" and wear a red wig if you like.
• Tracicle: Uhhhh...its an interesting story, sort of...Basically I live in tokyo, my brothers wife got a job at a nutrition research institute. Its...a different sort of place. Regardless, they are looking to break in to the english speaking market and had just undertaken a large project to get their main site translated in to english. As you know from places like engrish.com The japanese are not especially well known for their english writing skills and they also needed someone with general web-programming abilities. Enter me. Really, I do a number of different jobs, but the focus for much of it has been "proofreading" which is a euphamism for re-writing, as the text is often so bad it is not a matter of fixing a few spelling errors, and often quicker to simply rewrite the entire paper/webpage/book than it is to try to fix the fundamental problems with it. But let me tell you, there is nothing quite like reading a book with a scientific basis (my boss has a pH.D in biochemistry) written in a-down to earth way, then traslated by people with no scientific background. Then trying to make sense of it. Then trying to make a sentence like: "In an experiment where a rat is tied up to a board, pinched repeatedly and hanged by its legs, it is indicated that consumption of vitamin C skyrockets to 10 times more than the usual rate." sound sane. Then again, its better than teaching english. (And yes, I do keep copies of all the originals. Ad yes, it _is_ funny for the first page or so, but after several hundred pages...)
• I'm a student in micro biology, working towards a virus that will turn others into unthinking zomb--happy healthy citizens.
• TV comedy show writer, as well as occasional maker of short films. Also teach screenwriting and write a website. Am currently mostly unemployed, which is why am too poor to afford first-person prononouns in postings.
• Also, am apparently too poor to afford proper hyperlinks in previous post. Not sure why only one of them worked, but such is life.
• Informix database administrator for a mobile phone company. I'm so so sorry.
• lkc: It's refreshingly honest text. Pity you have to rewrite it. Me? I'm a Unix programmer/admin contractor between gigs.
• I repeat... I love MoFi! You are all pretty interesting monkeys. I had to inflate a little my curriculum just to feel that I fit in. Don't worry bluehorse, being a corporate drone is at least as bad as having no life. And, I don't have much of a life either.
• Full time dreamer (with a side order of chronically underemployed civil engineering based concrete materials research technicianing).
• Reference librarian. Ook, indeed.
• Software engineering major.
• Hardware Design Engineer, sometimes moonlighting as a gadabout. posted by rocket88 at 08:32PM UTC on February 12 Less than 30 minutes after posting this I get called into the boss's office. I'm now changing my answer to unemployed artist slacker gigolo guitar god alcoholic unemployed. Sad but true story
• Dude, that's terrible. Y'okay? May I suggest firebombing their offices - that's always a good idea. Relieves stress, and often lets them see your good side and they change their minds. Monkeys - someone give this man a job now! by which I mean, canadian monkeys with their own hardware design firms
• rocket88, that smarts! tracicle, amberglow, you're both sweet. *GramMa breaks out the cookie jar.* OK, since I can't be a Monkey's Uncle (isn't that Matt Haughey's job?) I'll be your GramMa. *hugs all around* Now, NO MORE poo flinging! Go wash your hands. And some of you are going to get your mouths cleaned out with soap if you don't stop this cockpunch business! YOU! Put your pants back on. The rest of you, go do your chores. You can play later.
• I must have forgotten to mention I'm a MEAN GramMa. Muhhahahahahaha!
• rocket88, that sucks, man. Sorry to hear it. At least you can go back to being a gigolo now.
• *replaces GramMa's preparationH with crazy glue, and runs outside to play* ; >
• YOU! Put your pants back on. But how did you...? ...huh...not fair...stupid pants...
• rocket88 - having been there a couple of times in my life, you have my heartfelt best wishes and a certainty that this will work out well for you.
• rocket88 - I must echo Path's empathy and well wishes. Having had the rug pulled out from under me twice in two years, I can feel your pain.
• rocket88 - take a dump in the ficus tree!
• highschool student? bleh, that sounds so boring
• Thanks for the good vibes, all! Losing the job wasn't all that bad, since I've kinda hated it for the past few months. The funny thing is, it was my recent efforts to bring about some positive change that got me fired (managers don't like to be told they're not perfect). The moral here ...(listen up, young'uns)...you can't change bad managers. The best you can do is get out and save yourself. I'll be OK. I'll take a few weeks off to drink spend my severance money and then find something new and better. (I hope)
• rocket88 - I think that's a story we can all relate too. Bad managers are threatened beyond belief by good ideas. Best of luck to you.
• err, slash that extra 'o', eh?
• Consider the 'o' duly ignored. (no reason for saying that, I just wanted to push the thread up to 100 comments... :-)
• I manage the sales & marketing for a small family winery. And a bump to the sidebar for this fine thread.
• Professional Vagrant.
• Antiquarian book dealer and neer-do-well, which pretty much amounts to the same thing.
• Antiquarian book dealer and neer-do-well, which pretty much amounts to the same thing.
• a-a-and I stutter, apparently.
• As of this week, professional organizer.
• library officer; sports coach/administrator/referee; 'poet'; part-time student; cat-feeder (the cat of course thinks that is the most important), etc. you can't forget the etc.
• My official title is "report analyst". I basically massage numbers and spreadsheets all day.
• I'm a nurse on a telemetry floor in a medium size hospital. I mostly take care of cardiac patients, and patients who are too sick to be on a regular floor but not sick enough to be in intensive care. I am also the proud mother of a wonderful 7 year old son (my real full-time job).
• Double-timing it at WalMart and Subway in bodalicious Shenandoah County Va, now, but there's a translating job looming in the future...
• Fundraising manager for a large liberal non-profit. Grassroots organizer for various other fringe groups. Because my life isnt strange enough, apparently.
• Insignificant cog in an oil 'n gas exploration company
• Ramix is officially a business process analyst and applications developer, part time MBA student and on again - off again web designer with a company formerly owned by Enron!
• Drama teacher and mum to a 7 month old. Rocket88 - did you find a newer and better job?
• Freelance web writer, hope to be more steadily employed soon.
• LoGG: Yes, I did. Thanks for asking. Funny story actually: A neighbouring company (100 yards away), and former client found out about my situation through the grapevine, and, having worked with me on a project two years ago, contacted me and asked me to send them a resume. Within a week they hired me. The funny part is my ex-boss (who fired me) used to work for my new employer, and they had fired him for being a dick.
• Father, bicycle-trainer (4 wheels to 2), UNO expert, accomplished storyteller, mentor and homework critic. I also sell software. PS-That's Great news rocket88
• rocket88: congratulations! It's always good to have our opinions of other people reaffirmed:)
• Uncle
• you gave up way too easy...
• Wife, Mama, keeper of the hearth, badly blocked writer, totally Virgo.
• I fuck goats.
• Wait - is this the hobby thread, or the career thread?
• eeewww.. quidnunc, go wash your... whatevers. rocket88, good to hear! And that is one delicious story. *grin*
• Liquidator
• Liquidator Like Richard Gere or like Arnie?
• Currently, a motion graphics designer. Previously, a print / web designer & photographer. I think we all let go some of the more unusual ones, because we were pretty sure it was said in farce? Do we really have a porn star, and weekend bounty hunter, etc.? Or are we just trying to be jaded, like when I found out an acquaintance does porn, and I replied "anything I would know?"
• porn star? bounty hunter? *snorts Those answers are dead giveaways for computer geeks.
• (but we still wuvs 'em)
• University student, sometime writer, sometime visual artist, sometime lifeguard, full-time swimmer. I get paid more for the things I do less of. I have never hunted for bounty. I'll tell you all as soon as I do something really cool. Or just keep it to myself and giggle quietly in the corner.
• I've hunted for Bounty. At the supermarket. In the paper goods aisle. Boba Fett, eat your heart out.
• Grad Student/College Instructor/Designer/Naval Gazer Not necessarily in that order.
• Registered Nurse, Social Service Director, Care Coordinator....geriatrics is my field. Also I am the official *Fun Aunt* in my family...
• "Systems Engineer," which really means I do test writeup/support, software development and installation, and some network/systems administration. Basically, whatever my company can get paid by the military to have me do. This has unfortunately not been particularly exciting, but I am still employed (so far--it's been looking rather slim lately). I'll probably end up posting another Curious thread about the whole "what do I want to do next?" overdone jobseeking question.
• Assistant Art Director for a smid-sized book pub company by day, playwright by evening, caped superhero by night.
• In addition to professional vagrant, I am also a retired supervillain.
• Ah yes, I remember you now, surlyboi. Chasing you across the rooftops of Metropolis, through the empty tunnels beneath the city, running, running until our legs felt they would fall off and our lungs would burst... Those were good times.
• Editor.
• Writer, Actor, & Rogue Raconteur Okay, my official job title is "Content Producer" /-:
• retired supervillain Retired? Yeah, right. Suuure you are. What's your game this time, I wonder?
• He already collected his ransom, goetter. That's why he's retired. Or what for do you think supervillians strive for? Evil? It's all about the sweet beaches in the Bahamas baby!
• And sharks with frickin' laser beams.
• I always thought the reward for being really good at being evil was that you got to go on being evil. Until eventually the world lies within your grasp. At which point you squeeze.
• But are you the real Pez? And if not, what have you done to him?
• off with his nick!
• Oh, you're a fine one to talk ;)
• Is nick the same as nob? If so, eww.
• *winces* No nob offing thankyew kindly. Certainly I'm the real Pez. Says so under every post.
• But above the under?
• Pez, you've been outted. Oh, oh, wait. That gives me an EVIL idea.
• Well that's clearly Pez too. Who else would it be? Anyone here a cardshark or a con-man? I'm looking to break into the field.
• Pez, who are you?
• I am a free-lance web developer, panty-fetish porn producer, and occasional co-host of fabulous sex parties.
• Web monkey! *flings code*
• Demented graphic design student with a Ph.D. in procrastination.
• Janitor and baker, but not at the same time. I'm probably going to get a third job in a bank, since that's obviously the next logical step.
• Why didn't someone tell me this thread was here? When I think of a good answer, I'll admit to it.
• Lawyer. Professional asshole. So unlike me in the off-hours. *cough*
• Singer, writer, language coach, translator, and all-around weirdo.
• I do the same things Medusa does, except for the porn and sex parts. man, do I have my priories screwed up...
• ralph, if you are young, cute/androgenous, like to wear girls panties and be humiliated, I could help you rearrange those priorities...heeheeeheheheeeharharhharrr!!!
• I profess things. Terrible things. (web developer, mandarin learner, martial artist/scientist)
• I express things. Terrible things.
• I undress things. Terrible things.
• my dad was a spy and my mother was a fighter pilot. after meeting, they quit their respective jobs and started a trapeze act in a local circus. they desperately wanted me to follow in their footsteps, but at an early age i found a discarded copy of project administration monthly and was drawn into the heady world of gantt charts, resource lists, and budget forecasts. after working for some years in regular project management, i became fascinated with the dark side. i'm now an evil project manager (senior) at a software development company.
• May the IEEE be with you.
• I've regressed things. Terrible things.
• I ingest things. Terrible things.
• I perplex things. Terrible things.
• I deplore thongs. Terrible thongs.
• I dipthongs. You glottal stops. [Flings RalphTheDog over shoulder, swings away.]
• i thing thongs. thuch thweet thweet thongs.
• I thong things. Terrible things.
• I poo, flings. terrible flings.
• I thing thongs of kings who are kongs or bongs gone wrong and dongs that are -- whoops! no I don't! /evil bee to him who evil things
• honey soit qui mal y pense?
• I'm the GramMa on MonkeyFilter. And a fine job it is!
• I'm the sacred keeper of GramMa's rubber gloves. A delicious terrible job it is.
• I am in charge of throwing away the gloves after she's done. (sings: "I Glove Trash")
• Wow, I never knew this thread existed! What a plethora of talent and ability here. I am the homely paralegal for a sadistic, activist judge.
• Sounds really kinky, Cynnbad!
• You Betcha, Gramma!! Keep us real and on-task, oh, great lady of the flatlands!
• Almost everything that I listed two years ago has changed. I'm not complaining.
• I put down that I was a library drone? Must have been when I was madly applying for jobs. Plus now I have a three-year-old, not a one-year-old, and another spawn besides.
• Yah, things have changed here, too. The only thing that hasn't is the small paycheck. *sighs*
• B-movie writer/director. Videographer. Animator.
• Yeah, back in June of '04, I was a "Content Producer" which meant government contractor for a large federal website. Then I was "restructured" into a new job where I decided I needed to take the writer, actor portion seriously. Still workin' on it.
• Technical Supporter for what seems like anything that will run under Windows (and some stuff that won't). Also amateur practical architect.
• what an interesting bunch of monkeys. My area is 'Gaming' - mainly supervising high limit roulette tables and watching poker tournaments. Barely work at all.
• I'm a college student, majoring in journalism. My fervent dream is to become a professional wilderness guide, specializing in climbing, and a paramedic. I'm also considering mountain rescue, but I'm waiting until I'm financially independant for that one. As to the journalism, I want to write about it all. I will probably end up penniless on a streetcorner somewhere.
• A Social Scientist, Behavioural Analyst. /past-tense. Herein, I tend to be chronically confused.
• Amazin' innit? Not one Monkey confessed to being a member of the mob or BushCo, a chronic liar, Jesus' reincarnation, or a salami juggler. I'm astounded.
• BlueHorse, I CAN'T believe I've never told you about my illustrious career as a salami juggler!!! /drunk
• I'm a chronic liar. In fact, this statement is a lie.
• *head asplodes*
• I dreamed about you the other night Neddy. Don't worry. It wasn't one of those types of dreams. It was all quite proper.
• I'm financially loathing my return to Uni as an Archaeology Undergrad - fourth year. But mentally I'm loving it, by the way, as is usually the case when I'm commenting here, I should be writing a paper. Due in 8 hours exactly, woot.
• *reads kitfisto's comment* uh...thanks. *cleans brain out with bleach*
• *reads kitfisto's comment* uh...ok? *cleans brain out with bleach*
• oh damn.
• I had a dream last night about kitfisto and 'neddy. And a trained seal. You'd better use boiling water.
• This may come close, Granma, as I met two different Jesus reincarnations, in two different penitentiaries, one winter. *sighes I never let either of them know about this spiritual conundrum. They had enough problems. Koko, uhm, have you been taking your meds properly lately?
• I had a dream about kitfisto, Neddy, a trained seal and Koko, although it was hard to identify everyone what with the flailing limbs. I woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't get back to sleep.
• Say Tracicle, you didn't happen to be reading H.P. Lovecraft that evening before the dream, did you?
• Nope, tentacle pr0n. Not really, I swear.
• mmmm...tentacle porn. And trained seals...
• Do not google images with "tentacle+porn+seals", or you might end up stumbling upon something like this. (SFW... maybe.)
• what on earth does that have to do with tentacles, or seals????
• looks more like a recepticle for a 'special delivery' from the postman's 'heavy sack'...