March 31, 2005

Rude food I'm not normally one for chuckling at Chinglish, but this is a spectacularly bad effort (and NSFW).
  • I say a pot shy double dong belly beats a hey-nonny-nonny any old day.
  • "Let's see... I'd like the spring chicken" "Very well, sir. While you wait, would you want the rabbit and pot show?" "Why, yes, thank you"
  • ala meat tea tree the gu? I think you'd have to pay extra for that.
  • fuck a robot ...five dollars
  • I don't like robots that much. They taste too metallic. I'd rather fuck a tofu. Delightful, teasing, spongy goodness, just like a fuck ought to be.
  • In my home town we had a doughnut shop near that was run by a Korean family. In the display cases were their selection of delicacies. On one side was their bargan selection under a sign that read "Day Old Dougnut". But on the other side there was a sign that read (I kid you not) "Flesh Dougnut". The mind reels...
  • In the city hall of my hometown, there is a sign on the second floor landing of the stairwell that says, "Third floor, upstairs."
  • ))) Abiezer... I'm crying with laughter. The best menu error I ever saw was in a Turkish restaurant which promised Falafel and homos.
  • They can't say that!
  • What's the men's version for?
  • The straight-faced answer is that the charcater 阴, whilst normally associated with the feminine (the yin of yin and yang), it can refer to the genitalia of either sex. That they had to point out men could use it too does tell you that it's normally for the womanly bits, and not at all a rude word in Chinese. As you can also see, hotels in China have pretty much institutionalised prostitution. I used to travel for stories at the magazine I was at, and you'd have to take the phone off the hook to avoid being called with offers of company. Then some places, they'd come and knock on your door instead. Also saw various of these weird products in the bathrooms. Some claimed to prevent HIV transmission. I would have reported them for wilful endangerment, if only I could think of an authority that would have done anything. The other answer is, you can use it on your cunt or that cunt.
  • *wants magic towel*
  • Ah, special
  • There was a massage therapist in my hometown that had a sign that read "FOR SKIN TREATMENT." Nice...