October 04, 2004
Better than the Italian Job:
Now this is a nefarious heist that appeals to my criminal sensibilities.
13 years ago
I detect a Fortean synchronicity with the name of the poster (BearGuy), the fact that the robbery took place at Great Bear Distribution Centre, and the story about Fat Albert the Colorado
bear stealing chocolate
from the kitchen of a paralysed man. These things all tie together in a weird way. Charles Fort would be a MoFite. If he wasn't dead.
I call dibs on the Crunchies.. and the Snacks. You can have the all the Smarties. My Granny worked for Cadbury in Dublin. When she'd come to visit she'd bring a big box packed with nothing but Cadbury's candies. My sisters and I would very carefully divide the candy into equal piles. It was a treasure. I'm almost glad Cadbury's isn't more common in the U.S., its rarity makes it the more sweet.
Though if the police were to assume the robbers were ursine simply because it was chocolate they stole, I say that's species-profiling!
Umm-humm. *twiddles thumbs thoughtfully* I see we're going to need to use stricter measures here. Maybe a good body shave and some pink bows tied around your ears will make you think twice about fucking off with my chocolate and beer.
Bears don't like the sugary stuff Cadbury tries to sell as chocolate. Neither do chocolate lovers. Only chocolate addicts might like it.
Well, just as long as they don't eat it all at once. They'll spoil their dinner and only make themselves sick you know...