December 29, 2003

Losing touch with your pre-teen? Is she or he spending more time on AOL than with the family? Learn to speak the 'language'.
posted by IgnorantSlut 20 years ago
  • LITL BOY BLUE COMA BLOW UR TEH SHEPS IN TEH MAADOW TEH COWS IN TEH CORN WHER3!1!1! WTF IS TEH BOY WHO LOKS AFT3R DA SHEP UND3R????!??! OMG WTF LOL A HAYCOK FAST ASLEP!1!!
  • UNDERGROUND OV3RGROUND WOMBLNG TEH WOMBLES OF WIMBL3DON COMON R WA MAKNG!1!1!11 LOL GOD USA OF TEH THNGS TAHT WA FIND THNGS TAHT DA 3VARYDAY FOLKS LEAEV BHIND !!!!!1!! OMG LOL
  • Don't run it through the translator five times in a row, whatever you do: LITL BOY BLUA COMA BLOW UR T3H SH3PS IN TAH MADOW T3H COWS IN TEH CORN WH3R311111111!111 WTF OMG WTF LOL OMG LOL OMG LOL WTF IS T3H BOY WHO LOKS AFT3R DA SH3P UND3R1!1111111111111!111!11??1!1?111!!1!111!!11 WTF LOL WTF WTF LOL WTF LOL WTF OMG WTF LOL A HAYCOK FAST ASL3P1 11111!!1!1! WTF OMG LOL LOL OMG WTF OMG WTF
  • EVARY LASEI HAS HER LADEI NEER A ONA HAEV I BUT AL TEH LADS THEY SMIEL AT M3 WHEN COIMNG THROUGH DA RYE1!!! OMG LOL Omigod the scary part is i'm starting to like this thing -- helphelphelp!!!
  • From the perpetually rad masterninja.com comes Kids These Days: Why Do We Let Them Have LiveJournals? Funny, funny stuff.
  • AND SINCE U KNOW U CANOT SE UR W3L AS BY RAFLECTION I UR GLAS WIL MOD3STLY DISCOV3R 2 UR OF UR WHICH U YET KNOW NOT OF 1!!1!!1 OMG
  • U R so GAY. A bit like Oscar Wilde.
  • L33t5P34* stopped being cool the instant anyone other than me and my evil army could decode it. Amscray, iddoskay.
  • WTF?
  • It's hard to imagine that anyone who has been online for more than 6 months would still talk like that. I can't think of the last time I saw it used seriously. (though it crops up as a joke quite often) Then again, I don't talk to that many 12 year olds. You can check out a bit more versatile 'translator' (though it translates to 'hacker' instead of 'AOL kiddie') here.
  • It's herd tu imegeene-a thet unyune-a vhu hes beee oonleene-a fur mure-a thun 6 munths vuoold steell telk leeke-a thet. Um de hur de hur de hur. I cun't theenk ooff zee lest teeme-a I sev it used sereeuoosly. Bork bork bork! (thuoogh it crups up es a juke-a qooeete-a oofftee) Zeen egeeen, I dun't telk tu thet muny 12 yeer oolds. Um gesh dee bork, bork! Yuoo cun check oooot a beet mure-a ferseteele-a 'trunsletur' (thuoogh it trunsletes tu 'hecker' insteed ooff 'EOL keeddie') here-a. (Apologies stripe :)
  • Sadly, my 14-year-old sister sends me text messages on my cellphone along the lines of: "Wassup im hangin wit ma matez at da mall." It hasn't disappeared so much as migrated.
  • B1FF lives!
  • The trick to remember with people who insist on typing in l33t, assuming of course that they aren't trying to be funny, is that long posts tend to confuse them. Who really wants to read four or five sentences in reply to a question like "'zup?". No one of course. Long replies turn people off of conversation faster than "UR MOM" jokes repeated over and over. Ah pedantry, the finest of all internet arts. You get to waste people's time twice over. Once when they read through your page long diatribe and twice when they reply to it. On the other hand...*talks until it's well established who has more free time*...and that's how to achieve limitless energy and immortality.
  • and that's how to achieve limitless energy and immortality I'm sensing a "when I am god" thing going on here, and I salute your vaulting ambition.
  • Pfft. I'm just going to steal the secret from someone else. Anybody seen a couple of glowing guys in robes go by?
  • And now, for the benefit of the assembled 12-year old AOL nuts and fans of machine translators, here is the Gettysburg Address, somewhat modified: FOUR SCOR3 AND SAVEN YEARS AGO OUR FATHARS BROUGHT FORTH ON THIS CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONCEIEVD IN LIEBRTY AND DADICAETD 2 TEH PROPOSITION TAHT AL MAN R CR3AETD EQUAL NOW!!1! OMG WTF WE R 3NGAEGD IN A GR3AT CIVIL WAR TESTNG WH3THER TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO CONCAIEVD AND SO DADICAETD CAN LONG 3NDUR3!!!!111! WE R MET ON A GR3AT BATLE-FEILD OF TAHT WAR!!!1 OMG WTF LOL WE HAEV COMA 2 D3DICAET A PORTION OF TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL RASTNG PLAEC FOR THOS3 WHO HAR3 GAEV THEYRE LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV!!1! IT IS AL2G3THAR FITNG AND PROPER TAHT WE SHUD DO THIS BUT11!11!! IN A LARG3R SENSE W3 CAN NOT D3DICAET - WE CAN NOT CONSACRAET - W3 CAN NOT HALOW - THIS GROUND1!!11!1 TEH BRAEV MAN LIVNG AND DEAD WHO STRUGLED H3R3 HAEV CONSECRAETD IT FAR ABOVE OUR POR POWAR 2 AD OR D3TRACT1!!!!!1! OMG DA WORLD WIL LITL3 NOT3 NOR LONG R3MEMBR WUT WE SAY H3RA BUT IT CAN N3V3R FORG3T WT DID HARA11!1!! OMG LOL IT IS FOR US DA LIVNG RATHER 2 B D3DICAETD H3RE 2 TEH UNFINISH3D WORK WHICH THEY WHO FOUGHT H3RE HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLY ADVANC3D1!11! IT IS RATHER FOR US 2 B HER3 D3DICAETD 2 DA GREAT TASK R3MANENG BFORA US - TAHT FROM THESE HONOR3D DEAD WE TAEK INCREAESD DAVOTION 2 TAHT CAUSE FOR WHICH THEY GAEV DA LAST FUL MAASURA OF D3VOTION - TAHT WE H3RE HIGHLY RESOLVE TAHT THESE DEAD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE - TAHT THIS NATION UND3R GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM - AND TAHT GOV3RNMENT OF DA PEOPLA BY TEH PEOPLE FOR TEH PAOPLE SHAL NOT P3RISH FROM DA 3ARTH1!1!11!1 OMG For those of you not conversant in craplish, here's the original: Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.