August 10, 2004

Nice bed, but they forgot the parachute.
  • A guy I knew in undergrad sold personal alarm devices ("screamers") from a company called Quantum. Gotta love marketing through fear.
  • More like marketing to fearful idiots. Some 'safety' bed. a) Wrap once with length of rope. b) Walk away. c) Call coroner to pick up occupants in 2 weeks.
  • The Quantuum Sleeper comes with options for: - CD player, - DVD Screen with PC hookup, - Microwave and Refrigerator Sounds like my a couch potato's dream bed. What, no internet access?
  • Dear Quantum Corporation, Until I tried your Quantum Sleeper
  • Nal -- no good. can't get at them good eatin brains that way. /post apocalyptic delicacy #9
  • 8-year-old me would have loved this. The first line of defence against monsters in the closet.
  • This is great. Excellent title as well! Thanks!
  • Aw, that's a little mean, dontcha think, Nal? Besides, the deluxe model's got a fridge, they might last longer than two weeks. So just give them a surprise: tape it up with packing tape and send it somewhere UPS. You could pay for it with their TV or something. I mean, anybody who uses such a device could clearly use a little adventure in their lives. I wonder if the Quantum Sleeper floats.
  • my hovercraft is full of eels.
  • Would the parachute be for when a crack in the earth develops, and the bed descends to the Earth's mantle? Now let's see if that bed can take sitting on a slab of 1400 deg C olivine.
  • Oh -- what happens if the murderer is INSIDE the safe bed??
  • I think that the thought of being shut up in that thing is more terrifying than the slim chance a murderer/rapist/terrorist/other evil-doer might come in.
  • If it's not lined with tinfoil, I don't want it.
  • Serious question: with the obvious exception of senior members of government and other high-profiles, the likelihood of a personal home invasion by terrorists...slim, yes? And I presume those worthies has other forms of protection other than a Bionic Bed. [which Alnedra, has a PC option as well, so you can still check in with us all and tell us what it's like in the Cocoon of Fear!]
  • Might as well be dead As shut inside a coffin-bed...
  • Somehow I don't think this quantum sleeper jives with the theory of general relativity.
  • If it floats, we could send the inhabitants around the world. Like a message in a bottle. I'm not sure the fridge would work without an electicity supply, though.
  • It could come with its own hamster-wheel generator, and hamsters, obviously.
  • Fech! Fie! No, you can't be my Valentine! Nor in my floating bed recline! For lips that kiss hamster Shall never kiss mine!
  • Damn it, I wish my wife weren't claustrophobic. I want one of these, and I'd keep my totally sweet ninja stars inside of it, too!
  • The beds that beeswacky weds are verily inept. They keep their owners safe from harm, but hot dog lovers wept.