August 10, 2004
but they forgot the parachute.
12 years ago
A guy I knew in undergrad sold personal alarm devices ("screamers") from a company called Quantum. Gotta love marketing through fear.
More like marketing to fearful idiots. Some 'safety' bed. a) Wrap once with length of rope. b) Walk away. c) Call coroner to pick up occupants in 2 weeks.
The Quantuum Sleeper comes with options for: - CD player, - DVD Screen with PC hookup, - Microwave and Refrigerator
a couch potato's dream bed. What, no internet access?
Dear Quantum Corporation, Until I tried your Quantum Sleeper
Nal -- no good. can't get at them good eatin brains that way. /post apocalyptic delicacy #9
8-year-old me would have loved this. The first line of defence against monsters in the closet.
This is great. Excellent title as well! Thanks!
Aw, that's a little mean, dontcha think, Nal? Besides, the deluxe model's got a fridge, they might last longer than two weeks. So just give them a surprise: tape it up with packing tape and send it somewhere UPS. You could pay for it with their TV or something. I mean, anybody who uses such a device could clearly use a little adventure in their lives. I wonder if the Quantum Sleeper floats.
my hovercraft is full of eels.
Would the parachute be for when a crack in the earth develops, and the bed descends to the Earth's mantle? Now let's see if that bed can take sitting on a slab of 1400 deg C olivine.
Oh -- what happens if the murderer is INSIDE the safe bed??
I think that the thought of being shut up in that thing is more terrifying than the slim chance a murderer/rapist/terrorist/other evil-doer might come in.
If it's not lined with tinfoil, I don't want it.
Serious question: with the obvious exception of senior members of government and other high-profiles, the likelihood of a personal home invasion by terrorists...slim, yes? And I presume those worthies has other forms of protection other than a Bionic Bed. [which Alnedra, has a PC option as well, so you can still check in with us all and tell us what it's like in the
Might as well be dead As shut inside a coffin-bed...
Somehow I don't think this quantum sleeper jives with the theory of
If it floats, we could send the inhabitants around the world. Like a message in a bottle. I'm not sure the fridge would work without an electicity supply, though.
It could come with its own hamster-wheel generator, and hamsters, obviously.
Fech! Fie! No, you can't be my Valentine! Nor in my floating bed recline! For lips that kiss hamster Shall never kiss mine!
Damn it, I wish my wife weren't claustrophobic. I want one of these, and I'd keep my totally sweet ninja stars inside of it, too!
The beds that beeswacky weds are verily inept. They keep their owners safe from harm, but hot dog lovers wept.