December 18, 2003

Who knew that "heavy petting" was so germy? "Handling another's seemingly healthy genitals is generally perfectly safe, however, one must be very careful to then not handle their own genitals or mucous membranes, unless it is with their other, uncompromised hand, or transference will occur." Ewww.
  • Is this site by Jesse Babcock?
  • I suppose this wouldn't turn people off to having sex at all. Can you imagine the movie script? Jack pulls hand from Alice's skirt. CLOSE ON Jack's LEFT HAND. It pauses in mid-air. ALICE What? What's wrong? JACK I can't remember what hand I used. ANGLE ON Jack's right hand. CUT TO: Alice's breasts. ALICE This 21st Century technique really kills the mood. Jack wipes hand off on pants, zips fly up. JACK Sooo...bowling?
  • Comic Sans! He's getting more work, isn't that great?
  • Comic Sans always makes me take such serious topics more, well, seriously.
  • My left hand hasn't known what my right hand is doing in twenty years.
  • I always put condoms on each hand, then exchange them for fresh ones whenever I remove my hand from the person involved.
  • The trick is to never remove your hand from the person involved. Sure, there's a bit of an adjustment period, but after that it's smooth sailing.
  • MonkeyFilter: We have Condoms on Each Hand