December 11, 2003

Which Historical Lunatic Are You? From the good folks at... wait for it... Rum and Monkey!

I, as it happens, am Ludwig II, the Swan King of Bavaria: Born with the name of Otto, you became Ludwig at the request of your grandfather, King Ludwig I, because you were born on his birthday. You became Crown Prince at the tender age of 3, and soon after stole a purse from a shop on the basis that everything in Bavaria belonged to you. Tragedy struck when your pet tortoise was taken away; relatives thought the six-year-old prince was too attached to it. Your childhood was lonely and formal. Once, you were prevented from beheading your younger brother by the timeous arrival of a court official. From the age of 14 you suffered from hallucinations. Despite striking an imposing figure with your great height and good looks, your speeches were pompous to the point of incomprehensibility. You became even more of a recluse, often spending hours reading poetry in a seashell-shaped boat in your electrically-illuminated underground grotto...

posted by languagehat 20 years ago
  • Heh, I've done this one before and gotten Mad King Ludwig. Always wanted to see his castles and, particularly, his Wagnerian grotto.
  • Wait, has anyone NOT gotten our good friend Luddy?
  • I'm Joshua Abraham Norton, the first and only Emperor of the United States of America!
  • I'm Charles VI of France, also known as Charles the Mad or Charles the Well-Beloved! In 1405 you stopped bathing, shaving or changing your clothes. This went on until several men were hired to blacken their faces, hide, jump out and shout "boo!", upon which you resumed basic hygiene. Despite this, your wife continued sleeping with you until 1407, when she hired a young beauty, Odette de Champdivers, to take her place. Isabeau then consoled herself, as it were, with your brother. Her lovers followed thick and fast while you became a pawn of your court, until you had her latest beau strangled and drowned. So much like my own life. Eerie.
  • Strange, spooky...but I seem to be Charles VI of France aka Chas the Mad or Chas the Well-Beloved. In 1405 I "stopped bathing, shaving, or changing my clothes" -- [I have to weebl...uh...wonder if this has anything to do with my relish of the "I am a monkey. I can go anywhere" website of homunculus' post on Dec 7th?]
  • No, no, non! I am the real Charles VI of France! These others are imposters! "Passing briefly into erratic genius, you believed yourself to be made of glass and demanded iron rods in your attire to prevent you breaking." heh.
  • Curiouser and curioser [Brit and Amer English versions]...I now seem to be in-cloned to the plural...
  • I don't want to be Ludwig II, the Swan King of Bavaria. Aren't there any proper women lunatics?
  • I'm Pope Stephen VII!
    You're all disincarcerated! err . . excomitted! Yeanhnhhh . . where's your crooked Pope now??
  • This thing broke? Told me I was Rosie O'Donnel. Sheeeit.
  • Hey, I'm Norton, the first and only, too! This could have all been so different if I had only obliterated Siberia when I had the chance.
  • I'm Charles the Mad. Sclooop. Sclooop indeed.
  • There can be only one. *beheads Nickdanger, takes his quickening*
  • With effort, folks, and rum-(monkey)-gumption, thus far, I've attained reverse-incarnation as the Swan King once, as Caligula thrice, and -- my favorite! -- William John Cavendish-Bentinck-Scott aka 5th Earl of Portland, "Marquis of Tichfield, Viscount Woodstock, Baron of Cirencester, co-heir of Ogle", a gent with a penchant for pink environments and roast chicken at all hours. [If this be lunacy, I'm a monkey's uncle, but no fooling, those seem to have been William John's more outstanding faults!] So far, I haven't achieved the extreme felicity of a female incarnation, Dr. Zira -- and I wonder, can anyone else?
  • Oh hell, I was gonna use that quickening! Not to mention the head.
  • You are Gaius Caesar Germanicus - better known as Caligula! Although you only reigned for four years, brief even by Roman standards, you still managed to garner a reputation as a cruel, extravagant and downright insane despot. When you eventually died, the terrified people of Rome refused to believe that such a cruel reign could ever end, and believed you to be alive for years afterwards. Now THAT'S a lunatic's dream legacy, people.
  • Me too! Me too! You attempted to have your horse, Incitatus, made into a consul and hence one of the most powerful figures in Rome. It was granted a marble stable with jewels and a staff of servants. At one point you forced your comrade Macro to kill himself - in much the same vein as your father-in-law - accusing him of being his wife's pimp. You, of course, were having an affair with said wife at the time. Wait. This probably isn't a good thing.
  • I too am Joshua Abraham Norton. I am heading over to Washington to give this 'President' Bush a piece of my mind! That said, I want to be Caligula. He had a lot more fun.
  • I always wonder whether people like Caligula weren't actually insane, they're just less inclined to let society limit their actions. I mean, if I could get away with declaring my horse a consul, I'd probably have a damn good laugh at the expense of the gullible populace. This doesn't apply once you've caused someone's death, obviously.
  • MonkeyFilter: Having a good laugh at the expense of the gullible populace. Or, alternatively, MonkeyFilter: Doesn't apply once we've caused someone's death. * unfurls cape, flys away *
  • Another Charles VI over here. *waves*
  • So, Kimberly, you're super crazy?
  • Mother F-I mean Monkey Filter! I'm Ludwig the Second I am. I mean, I'm all in favour of being a different lunatic than you loons. On the other hand: Rum and Monkey, where ya been all my internet life?
  • Nicola Tesla. Yessssssss..!
  • I insist I am not mad, for madness can't be what ye think -- although roast chicken makes me glad -- 'tis it's frequent proximity drives me t' drink, aye, on this point I'm inclined to be vocal. Pray tell, if my environment elephant keeps me in the pink will I still be co-heir o' Ogle?