November 06, 2008

Ben-Hur Live! A stage production of the epic Charlton Heston film Ben-Hur is to open next year in London's O2 Arena. Ooooookaaaaay.

BEN-HUR LIVE© coincides with the 50 year anniversary of the film and will dazzle its audience with a breathtaking combination of light, sound, water, wind and pyrotechnic effects in a show performed in the round, like an ancient arena. Huge projections on a water wall create a unique experience that appeals to all the senses.

  • Ben-Hur was a huge Broadway production at the turn of the 20th century, complete with live horses on stage running on a treadmill to simulate the chariot race.
  • You maniacs! You're screwing it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! Enh. Close enough. They racing those tiny horsies? Iddy-biddy quadrigae?
  • Also, they are turning Soylent Green into a musical. It's People! It's People! We've all been eating People! We munched on Tom and Dick and Jane And maybe Meryl Streeple! You are what you eat Your diet's complete If you wash down two feet With the bile of a Pete! It's People! It's People! We've all been eating People! We all are cannibals, you see, But just one thing still bothers me, I can't digest my neighbor's pee - It's People! It's People!
  • I'm Spartacus, I'm Spartacus, We all must play our partacus, If you eat rhubarb tartacus, It's sure to make you fartacus.
  • DOCTOR ZAIUS DOCTOR DOCTOR ZAIUS
  • well as long as The Ten Commandments doesn't get the same treatment, I'm good. I've only fell asleep during Swan Lake, which sucked, so perhaps I can do without that. How does Ben-Hur turn out? Never made it to the end.
  • From the O2's website: 'We've even put paid to that excruciatingly painful and frustrating tradition of the “fifty minute queue for the loo” by fitting 548 toilets'. So, there's that, anyway.
  • There's a ballet of Edward Scissorhands playing in Paris at the moment. I was a bit whiskey tango foxtrot at first, but it looks like it could be fun: trailer clips with commentary by director and choreographer Matthew Bourne
  • O2 Arena is the old Millenium Dome, right? If so, they could do full scale chariot races...
  • That does look pretty cool, roryk. The balletic possibilities of 14-inch fingers are staggering. I notice that the French title is more "Silverhands" than "Scissorhands," though.
  • O2 Arena is the old Millenium Dome, right? If so, they could do full scale chariot races... Unfortunately they just built a smallish (20,000 seat) arena inside the dome, and then filled the rest of the dome up with restaurants and bars
  • What a waste. All-weather chariot racing is out, I guess.
  • Do they no longer have chariot races at Parc Asterix, roryk?
  • Ben Hur was the gayest movie ever. Will the stage play attempt to re-create the homoerotica of the movie? (eyes widening) "truly you ARE the king of kings!"
  • I vote for "Top Gun" for most homoerotic movie ever.
  • More skin in Ben Hur. Tanned, oiled with pulsing muscles. And those high strap sandals!
  • Ben Hur was nowhere near as gay as Spartacus: Crassus (Laurence Olivier): Do you eat oysters? Antoninus (Tony Curtis): When I have them, master. Crassus: Do you eat snails? Antoninus: No, master. Crassus: Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral? Antoninus: No, master. Crassus: Of course not. It is all a matter of taste, isn't it? Antoninus: Yes, master. Crassus: And taste is not the same as appetite, and therefore not a question of morals. Antoninus: It could be argued so, master. Crassus: My robe, Antoninus. My taste includes both snails and oysters.