July 16, 2008

The Unbreakable Fighting Umbrella. Useful against web 2.0 pool crashers, ninja attacks, evil giraffes, and carrier pigeon drug mules (video). Sadly, not effective against teh c0ff33 h4xx0rz, but certainly worthy of inclusion on the list of best anti-terrorism devices ever .
posted by middleclasstool 15 years ago
  • In the first sequence, I really wanted to see the guy hitting one umbrella with the other umbrella. Two brollies enter; one brolly leaves.
  • Better idea: walk with a cane. 1. Doesn't look suspicious on sunny days. 2. Lulls attackers into a false sense of security - you're a cripple! 3. Cheaper. 4. Can contain hidden flask for post-bashing self-congratulatory cocktail. 5. Has bayonet option. 6. Is babe magnet. Well, maybe not. 7. Proven over time to work well with top hat and tails.
  • Well, guess the unbreakability/watermelon-bashing capabilities are a plus. I'd really like one sturdy umbrella that doesn't disintegrate after a couple years.
  • Somewhere Desmond Llewellyn is smiling.
  • Not truly "unbreakable": Unbreakable umbrella frames are warranted not to break under normal use (no throwing it under a heavy truck or a train, no chopping it with an axe, no banging it with a hammer, no throwing it into a wood chipper, no setting it on fire, or subjecting to other abuses). This warranty does not cover fabric, nor does it cover damage caused by abuse or accident (such as throwing it under a train or a bulldozer, and subjecting it to other similar unreasonable stresses). Hacking a watermelon in half? I'm not that impressed...
  • You people are jaded. I hope you all go to Guantanamo and get the umbrella treatment there.
  • I agree with RtD. Pretty conspicuous when it isn't raining. It's rainier in the Philippines, no?
  • Disappointing. He defeat the watermelon but failed on many hits with the punching bag.
  • Anyone remember The Avengers? Emma Peel and John Steed? Steed carried a brolly with a sword inside. Wikipedia: One of Steed's trademarks was his impeccable dress, often consisting of a stroller with Bowler (or Coke) and everpresent umbrella. Steed's umbrella, with its distinctive whangee handle, was known for containing a sword, though there were other versions, including one that featured a sound recorder. (The swordstick featured in the title sequence was made by venerable English umbrella maker James Smith & Sons.) He was quite dapper.
  • Thoughts of Emma Peel make me seek my own whangee handle.
  • i wonder if it's made by Ginsu?
  • Second thought: How does watermelon crack open that way? Is he the cheat?
  • I dunno. That was the weakest part of the video to me. It's fleshy melon! Sure, if you start an opening at one point in the rind, the remainder will easily split with sufficient force. I'm half-tempted to go home tonight and whack a watermelon with my son's toddler-sized Pokemon umbrella. If the results are similar, I shall post!
  • James Smith is still going strong. When I was at London University, I wanted to buy one of their sword umbrellas, but couldn't afford it. Now I can afford it, they don't don't do them any more, only stuff like this.
  • How do they get the water in the watermelon? *snicker* I say, how DO they get that water in the watermelon? *snort* . . . . . . . . . . . . They plant 'em in the SPRING!!! *runs off cackling, jumps under blankets with box of Teddy Grahams*
  • Ok, i give up. How do they get the water in there.
  • Er, I think it's some sort of elaborate irrigation technique or something.
  • Maybe after you poke it gently with the sword, you can stick in a garden hose. *GramMa shakes box of Teddy Grahams, gets Teddy dust* TUM, you little hoglet, if you don't have enough to share with everyone, you shouldn't bring snacks to the thread. Now go to your room. *breaks out plate of choco-chip cookies* Look kids, no preservatives!