July 08, 2008

Disrespectful or just obnoxious? Where's the line these days?
posted by es el Queso 15 years ago
  • "It sounds discriminatory, but it's not clear what it's discriminating against," said Selisse Berry, founder of San Francisco's Out & Equal Workplace Advocates. "Maybe it's looks-ism. It could be you're too straight for a gay bar. Or too gay for a straight bar. Or too rich for a poor bar. This one's such a gray area." This is my problem with the situation -- if the guy felt he was being discriminated on the basis of his being gay, then that makes that discrimination real, but how can you demonstrate that anti-gay intent? How do you prove that a bouncer was a dick because he was homophobic, instead of just being a dick because he's a bouncer and all bouncers are dicks because they get off on their tiny piece of power? Painting very broad strokes here, I can't imagine that any place in San Francisco would be homophobic as such, if they're going to stay in business long. Is it possible that the bouncer wasn't being so much anti-gay, as anti-fag? That it's cool if you're gay, just don't be all Rufus about it? Dunno. But I do know this -- life is too short to get worked up about asshole bouncers. There are always other bars. Move on. You may be right, but bitching about it is just cutting into your drinking time.
  • The "Ryan" in the story described himself as being dressed "totally faggy". The bouncers' criticism seemed to be focused on his fashion choices more than his sexual preference. There's a good chance (being SF) that they'd accept gays who dressed more in line with the bar's lowbrow and edgy theme.
  • What is "edgy"? Is it a bar that wants your business demanding ID? Is it having that same bar searching through your personal belongings? Is it the employees of that bar directing foul language at potential customers? Is it the employees of that bar insulting the customers (for whatever reason)? I find it strange that someone would patronise such an establishment. I know I would turn on my heels and never return, apologetic manager or no.
  • Didn't know you wore heels...
  • Next you'll be claiming you didn't even know I was a lumberjack.
  • Disrespectful or just obnoxious? Where's the line these days? posted by es el Queso I'm not sure, but one thing I'm certain of, Cheezeboy ain't my pick to draw it! I keed because I love you, Limburger-breath
  • pissoff y'old cow. *breathes on you extry hard*
  • That's some kind of asshole bar, that's for sure.
  • is that where the Baby Ruth in 'Caddyshack' came from, nick?
  • Bouncers are thick. End of.
  • I had a longer answer, but on reflection, what kit said.
  • I dunno - since this story is secondhand, and since the people I've come across in my life who complain about being mistreated in restaurants and airports unfailingly exaggerate their own I-wasn't-doing-anything-to-provoke-the-staff-ness, I'm disinclined to even take the story at face value. I could be wrong, of course, but the spidey-sense of my experiences in service industries tell me that "Ryan" was probably being at least as much a prick as the bouncer.
  • Old cow! Why you little chedder-head... *brandishes cheese grater*
  • woulda, coulda, Gouda.
  • It's sending cheddars down my spine. (I absolutely love that we can discuss social commentary and abuse of power issues, and still make room for the cheese puns. SRSLY.)