December 29, 2007

"I ENJOY FART" says Dr. Michael Levitt, the American gastroenterologist who has unraveled much of what is known about human fartulence. Levitt is a gas guru, prodigy of poots, high priest of hole flappage, the seer of stinkburgers. What this man doesn't know about toilet tunes could be written in brown on the bottom of your undies.

Oh my gods, people, this is the underappreciated field of flatus - intestinal gas that escapes via the mahogany knot, aka bean-blower. Dr Levitt admits his unusual under-burp expertise has put his three kids (one of whom is economist and "Freakonomics" co-author Steven Levitt) through extended periods of having to huff his patients' heinous honks, and don't get me started on the scratch-n-sniff books when they were little. So what has he and others learned about the particulars of the parp? I dunno, I didn't RTFA. In any case, please excuse my Levitty. HA HA HA HA