November 19, 2007

The Scariest Street Gang Ever I'm speechless. This has to be seen to be believed. Monkeys For Helping has a description of the video.

I'll level with you. This video from after school special "Ace Hits The Big Time" is quite possibly the worst thing I've ever seen. In it we find Ace (played by that kid from Mr. Belvedere) looking out the window to see that notorious suburban gang the Falcons are outside waiting to teach him a lesson. Ace is afraid of the Falcons, a gang as famous for their cruelty as they are for their devotion to colorful choreography. They are truly terrifying in ways that an actual gang filled with murderers and criminal toughs could never be. They taunt Ace with awful lyrics and painful melodies. They flaunt their love of purple by kicking him with their color-coordinated sneakers. And they dance an evil dance, with moves so godless they should be persecuted for even attempting them.
  • This would be my ace-in-the-hole piece of evidence if I were representing "Nurture" in the "Gay: Nature vs. Nurture" trial. How can you possibly watch this -- much less experience it -- and not turn gay instantly?
  • You want my purple socks? I'll give them to you.
  • I'm thinking the Sharks or the Jets could kick the these guys' asses.
  • They are the Vogons of the street gang syndicate.
  • Is it a Gap advert?
  • I would have hated to come home from school and fing He-Man and the Masters of the Universe pre-empted for this.
  • You're gonna look like cooked spaghetti. Yeah, that's right.
  • Google (owner of UToob) wants to make all the world's information available to all the world's people. A question: At what point does "information" become "too much information"? Also, this confirms that the 1980s were the most aesthetically awful decade in the past half-century. You thought bell bottoms were bad? Disco balls? Tattoos and body piercings? HA!
  • I wonder if the filmmakers involved with this are going to ask Youtube to pull the video. I know I would.
  • If I made this shiite I would want the video pulled from my LIFE. (It's like that REALLY moving, poignant poem you wrote back in HS, that just makes your soul cringe with terrible shame every time you find that one notebook from way back when presently, that you can't bring yourself to throwaway.) *shudders*
  • OH, NO!! You just HAD to remind me of that darn poem, didn't you. *digs up poem, buries it another six foot deeper
  • Why do I have this sinking feeling that I've somehow managed to calibrate my monitor's gamma scale horribly inaccurately ?
  • When I spent time at the Pelican Bay facility, these guys the only ones willing to step up. There are Falcons everywhere.