July 12, 2007

Man robs bank disguised as tree.
posted by some wander by mistake 16 years ago
  • Great! Now I have to freakin' watch out for the foliage, too!?
  • Maybe he should branch out to other jobs.
  • Why would anyone disguise a bank to look like a tree?
  • At least it didn't take long for the police to root him out. He should have more repect for his elders.
  • I think you may have twigged to something.
  • The officer added: "He really went out on a limb." *groan*
  • There is a reasonable explanation for this. After a robbery, the camera footage is closely examined. When a good head and body shot is found, it is then sent for processing identification. Even if the robber is wearing a mask, facial and body type recognition software can vastly narrow down the amount of suspects. Given enough "noise" to the picture, (read: bushes and twigs and leaves taped to your body) one can make identification by computer near impossible. However, you nearly have to be a walking bush for it to make you unidentifiable. It would have been better if he had just covered himself in ivy.
  • When I mean "narrow down", I mean from a pool of existing suspects, not some willy-nilly total population search. Also, maybe he thought he was from Special Branch.
  • I'm glad you cedar funny side of this.
  • Then he made like a tree and got out of there.
  • Hey! I was there! Cool!
  • Man Disguised as Tree Shoots and Leaves
  • Not enough acorny puns. You could bole me over.
  • What a sappy story!
  • Silly son-of-a-birch
  • Oakay, I'm just aspen: what did the son-of-a-birch do it fir? Was it just a larch? Was he board? Or was it a more involved, tree-fold plan? Maybe someone forest him to do it! Regardless, I think we can all agree, this was a grove offense. And his outfit was terrible! Why didn't he spruce it up a bit? A little cottonwood have gone a long way. Maybe he was distracted while getting dressed, pining away for the cash, and had to leaf in a hurry. I am glad they caught him, I'd hate to think he'd be able to find safe arbor.
  • ooops, didn't see briank's right above me. sorry.
  • That's the shingle worst. Of awl.
  • That old saw?
  • Robbery and graft are are sprigging up everywhere. Just a symptom of the failure of our society--we need to get to the root of this problem! SOME people on this thread are getting carried away. *aims at Nick, shoots anti-pun gun
  • Sorry, I hope I didn't rowan it for everyone.
  • I'd hate to think I was sapling the humor out of this thread. Still, ash my elders used to say, "It's a fair copse."
  • Yes, we've had so may puns, we need a pun-free comment forrest.
  • He had to switch professions since his mascot gig for Julia Butterfly Hill fell through. Apparently he wasn't logging enough hours, so she had to cut the cord and let him go.
  • Did he have a woody?
  • This guy sounds like a real nut. Obviously his bark was worse than his bite, since his endeavor was ultimately fruitless. (sorry, couldn't help myself.)
  • I hate you people.
  • I'm with mct. Pun freaks.
  • Yeah, guys, let's put a cork in it. We're getting less poplar by the second.
  • Wonder if he was telling himself "Chop! Chop!" as he was lumbering out of the bank?
  • I suppose yew thought it wouldn't teak him log to grow out of it.
  • His defence team were surprised to learn that the DA has dropped the robbery charges but still intends to pursue him on a number of counts of rustling. sorry
  • Lemme ax a question: Why you sorry, bud?
  • I propose a fine system: the next monkey to make a terrible tree pun has to give mct $1. I'm sad to say, I willow him one first.
  • The guy's a miserable son of a birch!
  • When they throw him in the slammer this guy's gonna pine for the days when his buddy Redwood come over so they could watch Buffy together (they both had a crush on Willow).
  • Damn you, Nickdanger.
  • I think I maple a muscle if I laugh at these jokes.
  • Somebody's read MacBeth one too many times.
  • I wonder what planted the idea to rob a bank in his head.
  • Some fagot.
  • Oh gosh, now I totally regret that one. Forgive me.
  • HA! You only think you regret that. If Quid were here, you'd REALLY regret it.
  • Can I play with the anti-pun gun, gramma?
  • Nickdanger, stop kindling straw men.
  • I didn't realize everyone was so tender. I'm emberassed.
  • Fkags: Sure you can sweetie. Just don't forget to load the cork in.
  • I say he can knot.
  • You people are just asking flora beating.
  • It's all fanaught, I fir.
  • This pun stuff is getting old. I'm board.
  • Well, they still tickle me, Elmo.