July 11, 2007

Jack Handey's nature documentary. Show monkey in a tree. Narrator says, “The monkey, proud and smart, in his native habitat. But one thing he does not have . . .” Show a giraffe. “. . . is a long neck, like the giraffe. Which is why nature has allowed them to combine forces.” Show monkey on giraffe’s neck. (Note: Monkey may have to be tied on.)
  • Awesome. No, wait. Awesomely awesome.
  • That damn monkey!
  • *volunteers to be the monkey to tie one on*
  • Awesome! I can visualize it so well!
  • Huh. I looked up Jack Handey on wikipedia and it turns out he's a real guy. I always figured he was an SNL creation.
  • So how do we get a llama and a badger together?
  • Well I think we can do better than that. Let's write our own documentary!!! Scene one. A monkey and two giraffes. Uh. Ok, great! Now someone do Scene 2!
  • Uh... one of the giraffes is... riding... the monkey?
  • Scene two. Monkey heads out to buy bondage equipment for giraffe. NO! I did so not just write that!
  • Scene 3: Two female explorers, Laci and Brandy, are arguing nearby about who was responsible for loosing (sic) the binoculars. The shouting match turns into a playful nude wrestle in a nearby mud pit. Show the explorers wrestling (slow-mo?) for quite awhile. Show monkey with binoculars watching the explorers. Smart monkey.
  • Great! Great! Scene 5. The monkey with the binoculars walks around and finds another set of binoculars! Alright! This is easy!