May 17, 2007

• The Neti is the best thing that ever happened to my sinuses. When I lived in Austin, I was beset by sinus infection after sinus infection, and the resultant round of antibiotics after round of antibiotics. Then my wife got talked into buying the Neti by some hippy herb-store employee. I wanted nothing to do with it of course, but she pleaded with me to try it and finally succeeded. That first rinse was like walking out into the sunlight for the first time after living in perpetual twilight. I was converted. And I haven't had a sinus infection in the two years since.
• Holy shit! Forks! I have no experience with the Neti, but just wanted to say hey.
• Hey Bone! Long time! Alright so I just tried this for the first time and it made a BIG immediate difference. Fairly easy, not nasty. The aftermath was weird; a lot of leftover water trickling out where I wasn't expecting any. But much much much clearer! If my throat wasn't hurting I'd be at fighting weight again! Not bad for first go; will definitely try again tomorrow and report back.
• Paging roryk...
• OK, I'm sold. I've tried medication anfter medication, and nothing works. I haven't had a proper night's sleep in years, and I'm having to use decongestant spray at leat once a day. So, I'm gonna try one of these things. But I've got a queation: Do I really need a fifteen-ounce one like this place says? A lot of the other ones I see online average about 6 ounces.
• I use an 8-oz (approx.) plastic squeeze bottle bought at the pharmacy for about $2. I fill it with bottled spring water and mix in 1/4 tsp of kosher salt and 1/4 tsp of baking soda (to ease the stinging). I leave it in the medicine cabinet and use it at least once a day. I haven't had a cold in AGES. It's also great if you live with a smoker.
• I just stand on my head and urinate into my own nostrils. That's free.
• I'm cheap and lazy. I use a clean 20-oz soda bottle and mix up my nose juice per some guy named Wes' site's buffered solution. I can't take normal decongestants so I do this when the stuffiness gets persistent. And just FYI, those OTC nose sprays cause rebound nose problems if you keep using them.
• If I'm feeling like doing charity work, I pay hoboes to spit up my nostrils.
• I use an 8 oz cup, I believe.
• Also: sinus hocus pocus; works for me and many Digg users.
• There are also 1/8 scale tubgirl models that are effective.
• And just FYI, those OTC nose sprays cause rebound nose problems if you keep using them. You're tellin' me! But when you can't breathe and you're desperate, you'll do anything.
• Using your nose to serve chili at a cookoff also has its benefits to sinus health.
• Seasonal allergies render me useless twice a year. Just the other day, I was desperate for anything. I resorted to purchasing my old prescription medicine (the only thing I ever found that worked for me) from Canada because it's no longer covered by my insurance. This is an interesting alternative that I am going to look into. If Nick gives it his approval, that's good in my book. Thanks for the post, forks! (are you still in NYC? If so, the past week has been hell with the wind/pollen/dust in the air)
• Two words: leftover menses.
• If Nick gives it his approval, that's good in my book. /raises eyebrow, begins scheming.
• Dude. Don't say that until you see his Netflix ratings.
• Nasal irrigation is recommended by The Mayo Clinic as effective treatment for allergies. (Text explanation & video). Also they use a bulb syringe. um, no mention of using your nose to serve chili though.
• fish, your link is really interesting. I just tried the massage thing, and it really did seem to help some. I also can't help loving this comment on the article: "in case it might help some one: I was suffering from "morning snot" for the past half year and I was starting to think there was smothing seriously wrong with me because I am usually quite healthy. I live in the Netherlands and they eat a LOT of dariy products here. One week by pure accident I forgot to buy cheese and I notice that the snot seemed to diminish. I have not eaten cheese since and I am snot free."
• I have a plastic one that was about $8. Can't see why you'd want a breakable ceramic one. I like that you tilt it to make it work, too. I don't think I'd like actually forcing water up there with a squeeze bottle. I don't have bad allergies, but I use it once in a while when I get the feeling there's stuff up there and just doesn't want to come out. Also after I've been somewhere dry and dusty. Makes you feel like you have a new nose.
• Just to add, I'm not mocking the dairy/allergy theory. Just love the way it's written.
• You might consider bernockle semen.
• I just stand on my head and urinate into my own nostrils YouTube link?
• Nick has a Netflix ratings list?
• All Netflix users can rate movies, and you can friend one another to check out each other's ratings and queues if you do so. I broached the topic of starting a monkey group of friends on teh netflix over on Tracy's blog (scroll down to comment 13), so any who are interested in joining the party should go there and comment. Right now it's just me and Nickdanger. /end-derail, sorry
• And while you're at it, those of you on facebook should reveal yourselves should join the lonely party. Right now, it's just Koko and four guys, which is good for her, but for us, a bit of a sausage-fest.
• Years ago, my chiropractor friend suggested I pour salt water up my nose. Sounded like a nice cheap SOLUTION to my stuffed-up problem. So I ran home and mixed a shitload of salt in a glass of water, took a bulb syringe, and shot a stream of supersaturated saltiness up my nose. Burned worse than snorting the friggin' ocean. When they say SLIGHTLY salted water, they mean it. (When you do it right, it works a treat.)
• /end-derail, sorry posted by middleclasstool at 03:24PM UTC on May 17, 2007 ORLY?
• Monkeyfilter: Worse than snorting the friggin' ocean.
• Yeah, you've got to get that salt mixture just right. 1/8-1/4 teaspoon for 8 oz. And slightly-above-body-temperature water is best.
• Hey, fishy, to be fair: those aren't derails, those are snarks.
• Or perhaps well-intentioned but poor medical advice.
• I'm a doctor. A doctor of love.
• I spent my lunch hour ordering a neti pot and exploring Wes's site. It's a fascinating read, especially the letter exchange.
• I don't think I'd like actually forcing water up there with a squeeze bottle Au contraire -- you tilt your face up and the bottle upside down, and just lightly squeeze the bottle. The effect is the same as pouring it in, and you only spent $2. moko jono, I did the exact same thing the first time. I don't know if I was high or what, but I thought I should be mixing the salt in until no more salt could be absorbed (!!!!!!!). Sometimes I am really, really stupid. I don't remember much of the next 20 minutes or so, but my sinuses sure were clean after that.
• But then you could smell the funk, so...
• More netinetipotpot info at the green.
• > Paging roryk... I've been using the neti pot regularly since October. I didn't get a single cold this winter*, compared with two or three most years. I do the first and second level cleansing. I might move on to the third level at some point. Some notes: I've often been surprised to find that I've been storing saline in my nasal cavity as it suddenly escapes. Don't use the neti pot at night, especially if you're planning to get intimate. If you watch yourself while doing it, it's a very entertaining way to clear out your sinuses. Though maybe I'm easily amused. * However, I also started working from home regularly last autumn, and reduced my commute to 8 hours a week ratehr than 12 hours a week.
• Don't use the neti pot at night, especially if you're planning to get intimate. You just opened up a whole vista of pornographic comedy, right there.
• You need to be more nasal retentive.
• Please, will somebody escort MCT from this thread? At gunpoint, if necessary. MonkeyFilter: Makes you feel like you have a new nose. I've never used a Neti, but I'm here to testify that snorting water up your nose when you shower is amusing and effective. You may continue with your discussion of the Neti now.
• You might consider bernockle semen. Consider it? I can barely even see through it.
• New York has been MISERABLE; everyone I know got hit with something. I'm feeling about 75% better after my first neti session. Should be noted however that you can take that with a grain of salt (up your nose) because I also started taking a week's round of steroids to reduce nasal inflammation and three (count em, THREE!) anti-allergens. But the neti was immediate relief and really surprisingly easy. Some points from here and from the green that I can address: the little packets are nothing but prepackaged salt and baking soda. The salt is necessary (as noted above, in small doses) to make the water isotonic; your body won't sense it as being alien to the environment. The baking soda is supposed to help reduce the slight sting of salt water on sinus, but I really didn't have a problem. You'd be much better off buying a teaspoon and a box of kosher salt; that should hold you for the year. Tap water seems to work just fine; I ran it just hot enough that it was almost uncomfortable on my hand, filled the pot and stirred in the salt after and it worked like a charm. An ex-cokehead acquaintance recommends ALKALOL as the best thing ever for severely damaged sinuses; I'll try it sooner or later. As for late drainage: I did some reading and the recommendation is that when you finish the pot, you DON'T want to blow your nose; that seems to atomize the water into your ears. Apparently the recommended technique after draining is to bend at the hips to a ninety degree angle, nose pointed at the floor. Ten deep breaths, in through the mouth, out through the nose. Then point your nose at your knees and do the same. Then stand upright and do the same. Repeat if and as necessary; you can also joggle your head the same way you would if you had water in your ear from swimming and that may set it free. YOU WILL BE AMAZED HOW MUCH WATER WILL HANG OUT IN YOUR HEAD AFTER YOU ASSUMED IT HAD ALL DRAINED! I'm actually excited to go home and try this again; it's like a weird body trick you didn't know you could do! As if your finger could suddenly detach.
  
• Also, the recommended "dosage" for folks who are suffering seems to be once in the morning and once at night. One pot per nostril. It's a cult!
  
• Re: the chili. Yes, very hot/spicy food can help clear up your sinuses, but mainly as a side effect after near asphyxia, choking, teary eyes and burning tongue sensation. Seen it, experienced it. Same for seawater, an accidental gulp when fooling around in high-tide will clear it all up, too, if you survive and make it back to the shore, that is.
• And hobo urine?
• I join the chorus in praising the sinus lavage. Amazing, the stuff you can clear out. And I just use a turkey baster!
• Hey, teh bone, hey you! And forks, stick with it and let us know. God knows I dope myself up enough every year.
• New York (state) has been horrible the past few weeks for allergies. My doc says she's seeing tons of patients with their worst allergy flare-ups in years. Mine have been terrible, but I'm not sure what's up this year around here.
• MonkeyFilter: I don't remember much of the next 20 minutes or so, but my sinuses sure were clean after that.
• Best tagline ever. Say, has anyone seen petebest around lately?
• sidenote: "nasal douche" has just entered my permanent vocabulary. check out this neti pot video demonstration... [mostly sfw (eg no owl semen) but may contain a naughty word]
• I've been using mine for a while. I find if I do it when I come home from work, it helps rinse allergens out of my nose. It's good stuff, and takes a bit to get used to it, but worth it.
• Well, the guy on the video certainly nose what he's doing.
• Cool post. Am going to pick one up at a Little India Store. Seconding Alkalol. It's great for sore throats too because of the thymol. And it's incredibly cheap. I like using a stainless steel tongue scraper too.
• Day three: had some blockage yesterday and found the whole process sort of frustrating. Tonight, much easier. Taking deep breaths. I'm already a convert and I'm not past week one. Will my enthusiasm last? Oh and I bought the copper tongue scraper myself. I'm such a tool.
• Oh man, Wedge! COFFEE?? BOOZE?? The guy's waaaay to hardcore for me. I could barely watch the water irrigation without being squicked out. This is not an operation that I would ever consider performing for the public. Remember that, people!
• For what it's worth, this thread convinced me to go out and buy a neti pot this weekend. My sinuses cannot thank the monkeys enough... although the yuck factor is undeniable. Still, my head feels better, and that is saying a LOT given the hideous disease assailing it lately. I like even better that the only "refills" I'm required to buy are a big ol' box of Kosher salt. Actually the process was easier than I anticipated, and less unpleasant. Still, not what I'd call crowd-pleasin' visuals--BlueHorse is right, this is not good performance art, unless your aim is industrial-strength grossouts.
• Why Kosher salt? Why not regular salt? Can you use sea salt?
• So I think I'm running to Walgreen's today and picking up an 8 oz. squeezy bottle to give this a shot. Seems like my sinuses are always at least a quarter full, and this thread has made me if anything more conscious of that. Evidently the urine and hobo spit aren't working. Not to mention that my allergies have worsened over the last five years, and I don't know if this is due to my change in latitude or just changes to body chemistry, but goddamn if I ain't sick of it. I suppose I should by a pack of handkerchiefs as well, as being moustachioed often means that everyone else knows your nose is running before you do. You sickos actually have me contemplating putting salt water in my nose. I hate you.
• Don't be opening any ayurvedic colonic irrigation threads mct. That might need the gallon squeezy bottle.
• *is scandalized*
• I decided not to wait until my fancy-schmancy pot arrived, and I also went the squeezybottle route. I actually used the bottle part of a Fleet enema (NO, A NEW ONE. GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER) and it worked a right treat. Screw the nose, I feel like I've got a whole new noggin.
• Enema bottle, eh? Hmm.
• *looks at ruined lunch*
• Goody makes an 8oz squeezy bottle with a nostril-sized spout. That's what I use. On the receipt, it was called "Goody Spout Bot". That is all.
• Kosher salt is preferred, Ralphthedog, because unlike table-variety salt it contains no iodine, which can irritate the membranes as it were. Kosher salt is great stuff. You can even dress a salad with it as the large crystals will not cause lettuce wiltage. But I digress. I think the reasoning behind not using squeeze bottles is that forcing the liquid could potentially cause problems with eustachian tubes and other areas where the saline isn't meant to flow. The classic neti pot uses gravity as its sole force, which makes it much gentler on the tissues. Although there could be a real rush-factor in forcing liquid into the head... especially with an enema bottle. The mind reels, literally. (BTW there's a great punch line buried in here, just waiting to be flushed out.)
• Ack!
• I really didn't have to squeeze much at all.
• MonkeyFilter: I really didn't have to squeeze much at all. Also, see above.
• Couldn't find a squeezy bottle. Found somethin' better, also squeezy. 8 oz. Gonna try it tonight.
• You dang kids stop putting stuff up your noses!
• RTD, i'm told that regl'r salt has anti-caking agents that make it less desirable. Which may be iodine, although I think that's a nutritional additive. Kids, you make a fine point about the benefits of a neti pot or like appliance. But enema bottles are right out. No, no, new or otherwise - not! It's immoral. And unsightly. And defenestratorial.
• My new favorite word: defenestratorial.
• I doubt it's defenestratorial, unless you're doing it wrong. And I mean VERY wrong.
• i'd be willing to throw in 10 USD if middleclasstool takes a load of bongwater in each nostril and then uploads the video. whos with me?
• Goddammit, that just made me realize I could use a washed-out honey bear instead of the thing I just spent six bucks on.
• You keep bongwater in your honeybear? Dude.
• There's a lot of monkeys spraying snot today.
• All right, goddammit, I'm going in. Pray for me.
• The inside of my head smells funny.
• MonkeyFilter: Evidently the urine and hobo spit aren't working. I've had this snot in the back of my throat for the last three days, and I'm wanting to give this a shot, but I can't seem to get past that You Tube video. WHY do I click those links?? Pete, get your honeybear out of the bongwater!!
• Like forksy's last missive, I too have a partial blockage on one side that frustrated things, but on the whole, the experience was a positive one. After two flushes in each nostril, the unblocked side's fresh as a daisy and the partially blocked side is better. I'm going to let it settle down a bit first, and then maybe have another go later this evening. It doesn't hurt at all, and the discomfort is minimal at worst. There is a sort of brief panic when it comes through, hardly that scene in "The Abyss" when Ed Harris breathes in the pink stuff, but kind of an EWW GET IT OUT GET IT OUT thing. Just freaky, and it passes quickly. And good gravy, all the snot. Just breathe through your mouth the whole time. And if your thing is squeezy, don't squeeze it too hard. Cue tagline in three...two...
• OK, I've been dying to know. What the hell is the reference to Blue Pepsi in the title? Glad this is going so well for all. I'm still too much of a coward, although allergy season is staring to tip the balance.
• It really doesn't hurt. I know you don't believe me, but it doesn't. Trust me, Lara, shove it in your nose.
• We should all do at the same time.
• Ooh, like Hands Across America.
• *cringes* *waits for Monkey title for snot-washing version of Hands Across America* *hides*
• I have never been happier to have had to go to a long stupid boring meeting than I was tonight.
• And for Lara, Monkeyfilter: *cringes*
• What the hell is the reference to Blue Pepsi in the title? Actually, ol' Nickers got it bassackwards; it's supposed to be Pepsi Blue, a trial balloon Pepsi floated to try and capture more of the drinks market using a disgustingly fruit syrupy additive to their drink. On May 9, 2002, this post occurred on MeFi: Pepsi to release blue soda. Now we know what they've used in those diaper and maxipad commercials all these years. MeFites were underwhelmed by the post and the product. Pepsi Blue soon became a tagline/idiom for something announced with a great deal of fanfare, but basically worthless or proving short-lived. Do not, repeat, DO NOT! attempt to use Pepsi Blue in your Neti pot. The consequences could be deadly.
• Nicely summarized there GramMa! What about nosebleeds caused by nasal irritation? (As opposed to just dry sinuses)? Would this . . squirty thing work without causing nosebleeds due to nasal irritation?
• Just keep your damn finger out of your nose, petebest.
• FYI, if you just want to squirt saltwater up your nose and don't mind spending a little for a small bottle, it's worth checking out nasal saline sprays such as "Ocean" which can in fact help with stuff like nosebleeds. These sprays are pre-mixed and buffered to prevent additional irritation. I scribe for an ear-nose-throat doc who frequently suggests "nasal irrigation" to her patients; on investigation I find that this is western lingo for--you guessed it--the neti pot. Whaddya know.
• And don't use coffee, whiskey, or Pepsi Blue. Easy on the salt. (and don't wipe that on your pants!) Nevermind.
• No pants to wipe it on, GramMa! Heeheee! So freeeeeeee!
• So far, I'm a fan. I spent three and half days breathing drywall dust, plaster dust, sawdust, and insulation doing home repair, and my sinuses beat the shit out of me on the last day. The blockage has made irrigation difficult, but repeated squirts have lessened the problem gradually. So far, I'm a fan.
• I also evidently love using the sentence "So far, I'm a fan."
• Hey, I'm a fan of "I'm a fan".
• Toolnose!
• Toolnose-Laughtrack?
• 50 demerits.
• Nosefrida is a plastic tube with a filter that the parent uses with their own mouths to get the mucous out of their children’s noses. And that's why I don't use that.
• Um, ew.
• Ha! You're not foolin' anybody Mr. About-to-be-suckin'-nose-mucous-guy!
• You'll be sucking many a booger, snotsucker!
• Oh petebest, you have rendered me queasy as well as grateful to have never had need for a Nosefrida. I wonder, is there a Nosediego too? Sorry, couldn't resist.
• OK, my fancy, schmancy, elegant-sy pot arrived an hour ago and I just tried it. I find it far superior to the Squeezybottle Method.
• Why? Was it the schmanciness?
• Can't be better than a rectal syringe. Can't be.
• And if you don't like Neti, you've got a fancy new teapot!
• What's the difference, TUMmy?
• Well, it fits a lot better in my nostril and made a better seal, probably because it was designed for the purpose. And as kinnakeet said, gravity does the work, letting more water flow thorugh the nostril but flowing more gently. Also, it looks less funny sitting on my desk than an empty enema bottle.
• Rub it and see if a genie comes out.
• maybe.
• Is that a hoodie he's wearing?
• I ordered mine today. I'm hoping this could be the cure I've been looking for. You've got my hopes up, Monkeys. If I get let down, I'm coming for you...
• My always-faithful allergy medication arrived in the mail today. Prescription-only in the US, my insurance no longer covers the copay for it. So I resorted, in desperation one sneeze-itch-sneeze infested night, to order a supply online from Canada (it's over-the-counter there). As I've been suffering something fierce the past two weeks (HELL, last night I did not fall asleep until 4:30 am because of the runny nose and itchy throat), I was really looking forward to it. Aaaah, somewhat instant relief was provided. Though it's suppose to last for 24 hours, it's been about seven hours since I popped the pill and I already feel the histamine taking over my body. Oh, my dear neti pot, are you source of my relief?? Will you pull me from the depths of seasonal allergies? My nostrils await... dare I tango with you?? So, where did you order your neti from, TUM??
• Still working great. I'm planning on doing this for the rest of my life, twice a day. Honestly, I'm just telling everyone I know. I've been taking sick days around this time of year for over two decades due to severe allergies and this is actually solving the problem. Now I'm curious to see if this does the trick for all y'all! Be patient with it the first time or two; I got lucky and managed to suss out the basics in advance, but you could easily do it wrong like Mr. Toothpaste for Breakfast up there and pour saltwater down your throat or not make the solution saline enough and not pour out the initial bit of water (it's not gonna be as salty as it's stuck in the spout) or turn your head just right or take the time to drain out the water afterwards or...
• I got mine from Amazon.
• Oh-Oh, I thought this was as simple as pouring water up your nose? Now Forks makes me think you might have to be smarter than the average Monkey to do this. What gives? *got to git Neteing, has horrible sinus infection
• Hey Blue, It's actually pretty straightforward, honest; but pouring water up your nose and not choking actually ISN'T simple. Takes a little practice If you're even a little nervous, here's an unpaid recommendation/testimonial: the guys that I bought my pot from have some sort of special for a steel pot, some packets of salt (essentially useless) and a dvd that walks you through the process step-by-step. That runs 28 bucks. They have another version that's TWO pots (if you wanna get one for your sig. other) the dvd and the useless salt for 34 bucks. You could certainly get it cheaper (and all the stuff other monkeys here have been discussing seems just as workable), but thirty four bucks is still only a fraction of a visit to an ear/nose/throat guy and the dvd should be able to assuage any fears. Plus, when I spend a little chunk of cash, I generally feel more obliged to actually use the damn thing and that motivation paid off well here. Here's the store front for Health and Yoga's neti pot sales; they delivered mine in about nine days.
  
• Y'know that "unique conical tip" makes it look kinda . . kinda naughty. Maybe that's the Special Edition MCT model.
• The morning/evening pre/post sleep rituals are too long and complicated as it is for me - all that brushin' and flossin' and scrapin' and such. I like to conclude a busy day by suddenly slumping.
• Hey for US$100 you can buy a hose.
• After reading this thread for the past several days, I just tried this, not because I have allergies or anything, but just because I felt I needed to bond. For those who have yet to try it, it feels just like when you were a kid in the swimming pool and you did an underwater somersault but forgot to hold your nose. Except instead of chlorine up there, it's salty. And your snot doesn't go into the pool. It also revved up an old, minor scuba diving injury in which I blasted a new hole in my ear canal, but that's another story.
• Yes, but did you like it.
• For those who have yet to try it, it feels just like when you were a kid in the swimming pool and you did an underwater somersault but forgot to hold your nose. YES!
• Hey for US$100 you can buy a hose. Why use a hose when a fire hydrant is FREE?
• Also, if you're gonna make an elaborate nose-flushing system, and your name contains the word "gross", don't name it after yourself.
• NetiFilter: Less Picking, More Irrigating!
• Hey for US$100 you can buy a hose Whew! Thought it said horse Nope, I'm waaaay to expensive for you potsnorkers!
• BlueHorse, I was right there with you. so fucking disappointed...
• For those who have yet to try it, it feels just like when you were a kid in the swimming pool and you did an underwater somersault but forgot to hold your nose. Except a lot deeper and more extended.
• MonkeyFilter: Potsnorkers Local 413
• Potsnorkers is the funniest word ever, GramMa.
• I'd Love This Product Even If I Weren't A Stealth Marketer
• "Pots, bulbs, other methods might "clean" your nose, sort of - but they're messy, difficult to use, and do not pulsate."
• MonkeyFilter: they're messy, difficult to use, and do not pulsate
• This Nose Hose: it pulsates?
• I have discovered that there is some disgusting stuff that comes out of your nose if you potsnork after mowing the lawn. Normally I sneeze for the next day or two after a mow, and I have yet to sneeze after my post-mowing snork. I think I'm gonna ditch the bulb and buy the pot from forksy's link. I'm really digging this. forks, is it still working for you?
• LETS HAVE A CONTEST TO SEE WHAT ELSE WE CAN STICK UP OUR NOSES! SO FAR FOR ME: ERASER, FORK, PEN, JELLY BEAN, TYPEWRITER RIBBON, GRASSHOPPER,
• Oh, I'll stick somethin' up your nose, buddy. Yeah, that's right.
• I hope them wasn't bits of brainseses I saw im the potsnork water...
• We seriously need MoFi Potsnorkers Local 413 t-shirts or coffee mugs or neti pots or something. Maybe a padfolio or tote bag.
• I'm finally in. I've been swayed. Neti pot, soon you'll be mine! Agreed, perhaps we can get neti pots emblazoned with a Mofite logo? Imagine the future meetups!! Behold, cockpunch and nosejuice!
• What do you think the cockpunch is made of? The "pulp" isn't from orange juice, I assure you.
• 
• Look for! The union label! When you are snorking! some crap out! Your nose!
• Toolnose update! I was just now forced asked nicely by hillbillyswamp to crawl under the house and investigate what she insisted was a weak air vent in the nursery. This turned into a couple of hours of sweaty, nasty, claustrophobic work while I rigged up a conduit out of sheet metal and duct tape (turns out it's also good for ducts!) to fix a gap in the ductwork that can only be described as "WTF." It works beautifully, and you will be happy to learn that I rule. My sweat mixed with the dirt I was slithering around in to create a nice head-to-toe mudcrust. After I showered it off of me, I dutifully partook of the potsnork. NAS. TY. Oh, dear God, the brown. This has become more than personal hygiene. This has become a bright spot in my day, a game that I have dubbed What's In My Head? Thank God I'm married. No one would want to have sex with me now.
• It's D-U-C-K, ya mow-ron! Nice to know you're ejecting creepies from the ol' schnozz tho. Someday I'm gonna Take The Neti Plunge*. But, y'know, not today. * I am totally patenting and copyrighting that brilliant play on a popular advertising slogan. It's mine! Aall miiine!
• Yeah, those Duck people are full of crap.
• They wouldn't be if they used a neti.
• Thank God I'm married. No one would want to have sex with me now. Are you kidding? What woman wouldn't want a man whose sinuses are polished to a shine?
• Especially one that would crawl under the house and snork BEFORE sex.
• Oh, and MTC, copyright that, quick. You and me, babe, and a new internet meme. Who knew?
• I snork after brushing Mississippi, the New York State Maine Coon Cat, a task that used to leave me wheezing all night.
• Doesn't Mr. Whiskers get jealous?
• Nah, he hates being brushed. He's been known to demonstrate his anipathy for the process with the application of fang to flesh.
• I think the point we're all missing here is that I WAS RIGHT. And if doing the dishes is the ultimate aphrodisiac, boys, just imagine what wallering under the house to fix the faulty duct that was spewing expensively air-conditioned air into the crawlspace instead of into the house with your sweaty pregnant wife will get you. Even if you are a filthy goddamn potsnorker.
• Something that Kit gives out, no charge?
• hillbillyswamp's imagery is glorious.
• OMG the logo. Yeah, this still works. I've been doing it less though, as allergy season in NYC suddenly got mild. I fall back on it whenever I start gettin' issues.
• MonkeyFilter: I think the point we're all missing here is that I WAS RIGHT. Ahhh! I love the smell of tagline in the morning.
• A duck walks into a hardware store and says to the clerk "Got any grapes?" The clerk says, patiently, "No, this is a hardware store, we don't have any grapes, try a grocery." The duck leaves. The next day the same duck walks into to the same hardware store and says to the clerk (who is, coincidentally, the same clerk) "Got any grapes?" The clerk says, a little less patiently, "No! Like I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store, we don't sell grapes here." The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks into the store again and says to the clerk, "Got any grapes?" By this time the clerk is thoroughly pissed off with the duck and says "No! We don't have any fucking grapes! This is a hardware store! If you come in here and ask me again I'm going to nail your fucking feet to the floor!" The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks into the hardware store and says to the clerk, "Got any nails?" The clerk, relieved, says, "Finally! A sensable question! But no, I'm sorry, we're all out of nails, I just sold the last package." And then the duck says, "Good. In that case ... got any grapes?"
• *snorks at Roryk's bad joke
• A duck walks into a chemist and says to the assistant "I want some haemorhoid cream. charge it to my account." So the assistant says "I'm sorry, we don't do customer accounts in this shop." The duck looks angry and says "What are you talking about? Do you know who I am? Mr Charles Drake, of Weybridge. Of course I've got an account." So the assistant says "Sorry, Mr Drake, but we don't do customer accounts. Could you pay cash, please?" The duck is furious. "Where's the manager? I demand to speak to your manager." So the assistant goes into the back and explains to the manager, and the manager says "The duck? Charles Drake? Of Weybridge? My God, he's a major shareholder in the company - of course he's got an account. Don't upset him, whatever you do." So the assistant goes back and apologises, and generally grovels to the duck. Finally the duck seems mollified, so the assistant says "OK then, Mr Drake, here's your haemorhoid cream. And you'd like it put it on your bill?" "No, you moron!" screams the duck, "I want it up my arse!"
• A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm. The bartender looks up and says, "Sorry, buddy, we don't serve pigs." The man says, "What are you talking about? This is a DUCK." The bartender says, "I know. I was TALING to the duck."
• adds jokes to list of "duck jokes", just to the side of

  There were two ducks flying over Belfast. One said "Quack, quack." The other said "I'm flying as quack as I can!"

• Look, have you, in fact, got any cheese here at all?
• A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of bitter and a ham sandwich. The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck"! "Yeah?" replies the duck. "And you talk!" exclaims the landlord. "So?" says the duck, "Can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly," says the landlord, "Sorry - it's just we don't get many talking ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. He comes back every day for a couple of weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ring leader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him: "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!" "Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call." So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The landlord says,"Hey Mr Duck I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!" "Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus" says the landlord. "The circus?" the duck enquires. "That's right" replies the landlord. "The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" "That's right!" says the landlord The duck looks confused. "What the hell do they want with a plasterer?"
• What do you call a cat that swallows 8 or 9 ducks? A duck-filled-fatty-puss
• Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.
• Veering back to Jala Neti, has anyone attempted stage three, as described here?. If yes, any tips?
• Ugh, I've just read about Swamootra Neti...
• Thanks, SB - that one was the favourite joke of Mr Proudfoot, my Latin teacher. I can see him now, rosy cheeks, academic gown, chuckling to himself in the middle of the second declension. Back to the snorkers...
• One time in high school a friend of mine laughed so hard he stage-three'd the yogurt he was eating. Does that count?
• I accidentally discovered Stage 2 the first time I tried teh snork.
• Ideally, this stage of Neti should be supervised by a teacher on your first few attempts, however many people manage to succeed unaided. *checks "Instructors, Potsnorking" section of Yellow Pages, curses this podunk town*
• One of you should become certified in the art of potsnork instruction. Who knows. You may get rich.
• I Stage-3ed a bit of street meat on New Year's a couple years back. And yes, it cleared out my nasal passage remarkably well.
• I Stage-3ed a bit of street meat What was his name? Hey-o!
• There was a mention of Pepsi Blue, so here goes: Pepsi Ice Cucumber.
• OK, last night I laughed in the face of mildew, and I am at this moment sneering at a dust bunny. I've got a whole new lease on life!
• Today the sign on a local pharmacy read "They're back! Neti pots as seen on Oprah". Damn near made me spew coffee from both nostrils.
• NO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE WILL NOT RUIN THIS FOR ME!!!
• Children! Hide your eyes.
• Snorrrrrrrrrk.
• Oprah must brand EVERYTHING.
• WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! The molecules in steam distilled water more closely match those found in the body's own supply. Natural salts contain important minerals not found in the pharmaceutical versions. So, the molecules in regular water are not H20-compatible with my body? And I can ingest important minerals through my nose? WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! Dang! Wayne Perry, there goes the bullshit detector again.
• I don't know why Oprah didn't mention the term POTSNORKING! on her show.
• > So, the molecules in regular water are not H20-compatible with my body? For want of salt while travelling, I tried snorking with regular water and it was ouchy.
• Silly, I didn't say don't add a touch of salt, I just want to know why molecules in steamed distilled water are different from those in regular water, which is what the article said. You took your pot traveling with you? That's dedication.
• Mine came today! I ordered the one from forksy's link! I put stuff in it, then poured it up my nose! It was AWESOME!
• You put "stuff" in it? Dammit, why didn't you read the directions, you fool? *heads on over with plunger to get "stuff" out of MCT's schnozzola
• Look, what the hell? I step away from MoFi for a few weeks, and when I come back, it turns out I got a cheapo plastic Neti Pot at the same time as all you lot? Well, here's my reaction. The first try was weird, like that feeling when you accidentally take a noseful in the pool. It's only been a couple of days, but so far, so good! I'm using natural additive-free rock salt, because I haven't been able to find Kosher salt. Should be fine, right? Maybe sometime I'll find the marble I sniffed up there when I was five, much like a reverse version of this.
• Lately I've been having snorking troubles. Where I used to have a good, healthy stream in the outflow nostril I now get a trickle. Then everything comes gushing out the in-nostril when I remove the pot.
• You think you have snorking problems now? Just wait. Next it be not just one pot, but two. Then three. Soon you'll be buying a bigger pot and doubling up on the salt. You'll start to forego food, and will just snork for your entire lunch break. And snorking abuse isn't just personal, it's a family problem. Soon you'll notice that Mr. Whiskers is losing his fur and chewing his claws. For god's sake, woman, take control of your snorking before it's TOO LATE.
• TUM, maybe back off on using any salt for a couple days. You could have irritated the sinus linings to the point of swelling. It should resolve itself shortly. Alternately, don't snork for a couple days. Same principle--give your schnozz a break. Just some thoughts. If you find you feel like you can't miss a snorking session, or you become irritable, itchy, start blinking or nose twitching behaviors, better see a snorkologist and get some help. You're fer shure damn well addicted. And the rest of you users, be careful. Too much obvious dependence or public use, and the Gummint will be after your pot(s) and toss yer arse in jail. If you think you're on the outskirts of society now, wait till you're locked up with people who don't sympathize with your proclivity to stick spouts up your nasal passages.
• Yeah, take it easy. A harmless snorking habit can very quickly become a deadly snorking addiction.
• Friends don't let friends drive snorked.
• You people are such freaks.
• I should always listen to GramMa - omitting the salt has indeed helped.
• You snork addicts always claim you've "got it under control."
• So, does this snorking become like Dristan-huffing, to the point where a day without a snork is like a day without breathing?
• God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot snork, Strength to snork the things that I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
• One snork at a time.
• TUM, still having troubles? I have a problem with a pretty much constant partial blockage in one nostril at all times that causes snorking symptoms similar to yours, and I've noticed that I do better if I snork immediately after showering (the steam seems to loosen things up). Also, I do a full pot per nostril, and I blow out halfway through each pot, which seems to help if the water's trickling. So, does this snorking become like Dristan-huffing, to the point where a day without a snork is like a day without breathing? I have to say I am amazed -- when I first read forksy's post, my initial reaction was along the lines of "Damn, some people have disgusting habits," but I now find I enjoy it so much that I notice the days when I don't snork more than I notice the days when I do. I bought small tupperware containers to hold salt and soda in my medicine cabinet and even bought a new set of measuring spoons so I don't have to go to the kitchen everytime, and God help me, I have actually contemplated engraving or heat-transferring the MoFi Potsnorkers logo on my stainless steel pot, and I really really enjoy watching the mucus run out in the mirror and... Oh, dear. I think I may have a problem.
• The snorking is still stronger on one side than the other, but much better, ta.
• roryk, I just tried a level 2 cleansing today, but I had some problems. When I try to draw the water back, I'm getting a lot of air bubbles and I gag like crazy. Is there a trick to this I'm missing?
• My first morning snork went off without a hitch using one of those squeezy bottle ones. "Without a hitch" meaning my brain went into overdrive to alert me to the fact that I was drowning. And I'm snorking a lot of residual saltwater that has apparently found my parched sinus netherregions a happy playground. I can breathe better tho, and doctors recommend that. Who knows, I might even do it again. (When are the Union dues due?)
• (Just give them to me, pete. I'll look after them for ya.)
• Just check yer union suits at the door.
• I notice the days when I don't snork more than I notice the days when I do. I bought small tupperware containers to hold salt and soda in my medicine cabinet and even bought a new set of measuring spoons so I don't have to go to the kitchen every time, and God help me, I have actually contemplated engraving or heat-transferring the MoFi Potsnorkers logo on my stainless steel pot, and I really really enjoy watching the mucus run out in the mirror and... INTERVENTION!! MonkeyFilter: Damn, some people have disgusting habits Will somebody please take that damn pot away from Pete before he hurt himself? And Pete, you can't DO THAT without pants!!
• I brod by skeezy boddle to wurk today, cuz I hab a code.
• roryk, I just tried a level 2 cleansing today, but I had some problems. When I try to draw the water back, I'm getting a lot of air bubbles and I gag like crazy. Is there a trick to this I'm missing? This maybe too hard to describe in any useful way :-) For level 2, I tilt my head back about 20 degrees and incline slightly away from the nostril I'm pouring into. Then I snort the water in through the back of my throat in the same way that I would if I were trying to clear my nose by spitting. I don't seem to get air bubbles, but it's somewhat gag-inducing (I've gotten used to it). Maybe try closing the nostril that's not in use? Also, make sure that the water in the pot is sufficient to avoid letting air in that way.
• The back of my brain feels squeezy!! *blink* *wrinkle nose* Gah!
• Ah, GramMa, I say "snork and let snork".
• My auxiliary neti pot arrived today. It looks like something the Smurfs would make tea in.
• Y'know I haven't flooded the noggin yet since - I think it just recently started to dry out. Maybe those pre-measured salt-n-pepa packets weren't enough for the golden, magical, supersexy effluvial ol' factory that is me honker. I got worried about confection, so haven't been back. Although there's no doubt that the attic is cleaner and my breathing is easier and more voluminous. In a supersexy way.
• The NY Times gets in on the sinus-bathing action. (reg. req.)
• I still can't find one anywhere near me. A while back, I asked the hipsters at Lululemon if they had any, and they looked at me like I was on the crack. "What is it?" It's a yoga thing. You're a yoga store. Supposedly -- all I see are overpriced track pants... Grr.
• I couldn't find one at either of the hippy-dippy-organic-food-and-natural-medicine shops in my granola college town. Had to send away to Amazon.
• Ah, there's hippy-dippy-new-age rainbow-and-henna yoga freaks, and then there's the hardcore potsnorkers. You chose. The first rule of Snork Club is...
• Bring tissues!
• I saw a plastic one at Wal-Mart several months back. I believe my reaction is what's commonly referred to as an "existential crisis."
• I still haven't revisited the honkersplutting, but I have seen the kits recently in the cold remedy section near those zinc-laced cough drops, zinc gel nasal goop, and zinc-swabs. Perhaps it's time once again to lace up the ol' neti shoes.
• Huh. Seems as though you can get them in Canada, now that it's "as seen on Oprah!" (I'd definitely pick that one up instead of the other -- I'd have the feeling I was sticking a little blue dick up my nose.)
• Cap'n, if you want to stick a little blue dick up your nose, THIS is the thread.
• Honestly, you people! Go to the dollar store and get a teapot if you want wash the snoo out, already.
• Angh! Angh! The other day, I carelessly snorked before making sure all the salt was dissolved, and a clump of it went through the snorktubes. It felt like there was a volcano behind my face.
• I saw that once on an episode of Blind Date. The date starred some guy from Jackass. Spur-of-the-moment, he decided to snort a salt shaker. The guy thought it would be a funny stunt, but clearly was in for more than he bargained for. Poor woman had no idea what to do with the guy. Yes, I watch Blind Date. But only when I'm flipping.
• Look Before You Snork
• Here I am at work, purging old files... and I've run across an old notebook filled with work-related notes from my boss. There it is, in big bold letters, "TUES 01/03/06 Neti Pot". I feel like I've just uncovered a dirty secret. *shakes fist at MoFi*
• Accessory?
• "The Peter Petrie Egg Separator is the most unappetizing kitchen tool EVER. And sadly, the stupid thing WORKS." Best. Product. Pitch. Evar.