November 11, 2006

Rude, Rude, Wherever I Go

Happily broken down into countries, here's help for the boorish, ignorant, inconsiderate, insulting, and just plain rude as we travel the globe.

  • /flings poo and runs
  • Austria/Germany: Displaying a swastika and other Nazi symbols as well as certain Nazi-gestures... That explains the funny looks I got. Been bugging me for ages. Italy: Asking for the check immediately after finishing one's meal is generally seen as rude, take the time to relax and enjoy your surroundings and "un cappucino". Never, never order a cappucino after a meal. Any meal. USA: References to someone's ethnic or racial identity are inappropriate unless the subject is broached generally. In particular, mentioning somebody's minority status when criticizing that person is perceived as discrimination. This bears repeating.
  • In NZ: It is considered rude not to greet someone when passing in the street. Can you imagine how long it would take to get anywhere? "Hi, how are you? Hi there, hey, hi, good morning, how's it going? Hi! Howdy! Hey, hi, wassup, hello, g'day, hi..." And: You should shake hands when leaving the company of a person you have just met or someone you have not seen for a long time. This sounds more American to me than kiwi.
  • South Africa It is the custom to look someone in the eye whenever touching glasses for a toast. Varying superstitious results can follow should you not do so. Conversely, it is considered rude and inappropriate in many of South Africa's cultures to look an elder or a superior in the eye when one is being spoken to. Humility and tradition dictate that one should cast one's eyes downwards in such a situation. This can easily be misinterpreted as a sign of inattention or indifference, when it actually indicates great deference and respect. But what if someone proposes a toast at a business dinnner when your boss is present? I remember my Russian professor telling me that Russians don't greet each other multiple times a day - like if you see your friend in the morning and then again in the afternoon, you'll get a funny look if you say "Hi" again in the afternoon.
  • Yes, some of these seem ... dubious. Many seem the product of a less hectic way of life/old-fashioned, like the Kiwi greeting everyone s/he encounters. (This is still encountered in many small towns over here, but in larger urban centres, forget it.) Some things seem very ... enigmatic. For instance, it says the Japanese do not use their handkerchiefs for blowing their noses. So what do they use them for? And some are just plain wrong: [of the US} Profane words are not allowed on broadcast television or radio.
  • Actually, Richard Nixon pronounced it "fox paws". He's still dead, right?
  • "(other than, of course, the national pasttime of making fun of Toronto.[citation needed] But that too represents a truly Canadian preference to mock those in power and take the side of the underdog)."
    Most of the ones for Canada seem to be spot on, but there are a lot of rude people here so your mileage will vary.
    "Canadians are generally good-humoured when being lightly ribbed about living in the wilderness or the "Frozen North", or driving dogsleds and living in igloos. But if those stereotypes are seen to be seriously held by the visitor, serious offense will be taken. Any offense can usually be mitigated by an offer to buy a round of beers, however."
    Some years ago, when I was a little beyond twenty years, I was waiting outside a dive ("classy") bar in the infamous Vancouver suburb of Surrey. I made some cutting remarks to a friend and a stranger about someone we were watching who was so drunk they couldn't climb into a taxi. Unfortunately, the stranger was his meathead Surrey buddy (think mullets and rusty lawn-cars, smashing beercans on the forehead, seeding fistfights and all that) who had two heads of height, a little under two decades and at least two pitchers of keg-dreg Molson more. The mook said, "'scuze me? That's my best friend..." then explained how he was going to kick my ass and squared off to do me in. While he was stepping in for a swing I stepped back and said, "Jesus, yer a big guy. You look like you like beer. How about I buy you a beer?" He said, "Two." He still had eye-daggers all the way to the bartender, but I backpedalled a beating for one more day. I still don't know when to shut my mouth, as evidence here can corroborate.
  • In NZ: It is considered rude not to greet someone when passing in the street. Can you imagine how long it would take to get anywhere? "Hi, how are you? Hi there, hey, hi, good morning, how's it going? Hi! Howdy! Hey, hi, wassup, hello, g'day, hi..." That's pretty much the protocol here in Hawai'i. It doesn't apply to every person downtown or in Waikiki (the other downtown here), but in general, if you are walking down a the average street, you should give a head nod and a little "hey, howzit" or "sup" when passing someone. You don't need to slow down or stop to do it, but you should acknowledge the other human beings you share the world with. I find it strange when I return to the mainland and people don't do this. They work so hard at maintaining isolation in to their own private world, it's odd. Everyone tries to perfectly time a random head turn in a different direction whenever they get a certain distance from each other. And in the busy places like downtown, you still do it when possible/convenient (I'm finding it difficult to codify exactly when it is you do it. There's some set of rules defining when it's appropriate, but right now, for me, they are more instinctual). When I'm on the mainland, I love to acknowledge people I pass. They look so shocked that you introduced yourself into their world, it's almost like you assaulted them.
  • Mr. Knickerbocker, it's pretty much the same in the South -- make eye contact, maybe say hi, but make some acknowledgement. No big deal, and it doesn't slow you down. When I'm somewhere where that's not the custom, I get really uncomfortable. The closer I get to whoever's coming the other direction the louder I have to scream "Don't look! Don't look!" to myself, and then I wonder if the other person thinks I'm rude. Not that I'm neurotic about it or anything.
  • It is like that here really, Mr K. The first thing I thought of was a crowded city street, and it made me smile. But when I'm walking with the kids around our neighbourhood, I always exchange greetings with other pedestrians. I used to do it in California, too, and get the funny looks.
  • hmmm, there is a lot of relativity going on here, cause I grew up in the north east US and people do NOT say hello/nod etc. to strangers on the street. by comparison, that is not uncommon in the Bay Area. I live in Oakland, and I generally always make eyecontact/smile/nod/hello to people I pass, as do many others. (altho not to the extent I would expect in the south, for example)
  • If you give knife as a present, the person who's receiving it must give you small amount of money for the gift. Well, it's ascribed to Bulgaria here. But this one was also common in Nova Scotia among Gaelic-speaking folk of my parents' and older generations. My father once told me this was so the knife wouldn't 'cut the friendship'. However, should there be an exchange of money, even so little as a cent, ye could fool the ill-natured (yet it would seem remarkably simple-minded) fairies into assuming it was a purchase and not a gift, and thus remove all ill-luck.
  • *buys load of cheap knives at Big Lots, heads for Nova Scotia*
  • It was the name of a friends band, faux pas,,(social blunder), and that's exactly what they were.
  • I encountered that knife thing in London, bees: when I asked for a kitchen knife as a leaving present, one of the old ladies in the office insisted I should give a penny in return. I suppose she may well have had Gaelic roots, though she sounded like a Cockney. Otherwise, the list has a lot of frustrating inaccuracies and some tantalisingly incomplete stories. The thing about French people breaking off bits of bread, for example: posh Brits do that too (but non-posh Brits are generally unaware of the custom, hence it's a bit of a shibboleth). And giving chrysanthemums insults French people? I don't know about that, but a colleague with a French wife once scoffed at a TV programme where a young man was shown giving roses to his mother-in-law. "If you give red roses to a woman in France," he said, "It means you've slept with her at least twice." I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this information.
  • Catch me ever giving any European lady, be she ever so charming, so much as a sniff of me boutonniere again! Aye, these are treacherous waters.
  • I used to do it in California, too, and get the funny looks. Sure you weren't gonna get the funny looks regardless?
  • Plegmund, looks as if the knife-belief may be fairly widespread.
  • Sure you weren't gonna get the funny looks regardless? Maybe I was, HW, maybe I was.