October 08, 2005

• Seems the gist of this is "don't use adjectives".
• Action Verbs To Use Sparingly On Resumes
• The part about writing examples matches what I was told by outplacement consultants. They said not only should you list examples, you need to be as specific as possible and use concrete numbers whenever you can. Most, but not all, of the examples in the article follow that advice. For instance: "Created and implemented comprehensive needs assessment mechanism to help forecast demand for services and staffing." would have gotten back a question about what the cost savings or other concrete benefits of the mechanism were. Especially for managers and executives, it was "show me the bottom line".
• Nice one, Hlewagast.
• Hey, thanks, Chyren! I was just sitting down to rework my resume today so this is perfect.
• Bah, no it's not. For every company that flags these words as indicative of empty-claims there's another that considers them essential monikers of someone willing to play by jargon rules.
• I find that the words "International Jewish Conspiracy" tend to hurt ones chances. Especially if shopping for a job in the diamond district in NYC.
• What Nickdanger said.
• Bah.. use these internet tools to polish it up.
• And on a more serious note: Weasel Words.
• Bah...I am logical and detail-minded that why I get job.
• Bah.
• Hah! I don't use any of your pathetic, wimpy jargon-like words. I have written my CV/ resume/ whatever in Norwegian.
• So in other words, "Don't use HR monkey jargon."
• Seems a bit common sense- I would never put any of those words on my resume b/c a resume is for factual statements of what you did on previous jobs.
• I actually wanted to add the comment "Only a moron wouldn't find this obvious" but I thought that might be a cunty thing to say.
• drjimmy is right: you can sort of get away with generalities in your application cover letter, but the resume has to be specific. And then in your letter you can say stuff like, "As you can see from my resume, I am hip, chic and awesome." I didn't notice that the writer of the link has copied and pasted his content directly from MSN.com's career section. It's in the comments on his blog.
• Don't forget to add plagiarism... if not outright theft.... as found in the comments (so as not to be a plagiarist m'self).
• Also, the words "sphincter" and "carbuncle" are off-putting to recruiters and should be omitted from your resume when possible.
• I'd also avoid mention of former fascist employers, "the man", etc.
• On a related note, I have developed a theory of job interviewing over the years: once you are in the interview, they think you're qualified for the job. Howeever, they interview a lot of qualified people. So the questions are traps: they're essentially trying to trick you into saying something that will disqualify you. for example: job description says, "must work well as part of a team" INTERVIEWER: would you say you enjoy working alone? This isn't really a question at all, it's a trap. It makes little to no difference what you say, as long as you parrot back what's in the job description, that you work well as part of a team. Depending on the interview, I find 50-100% of the questions will be like this.
• damn. That's why I never got a response from all those nice places. Actual accomplishments: posted 2000 entries to my blog read 200 rss feeds read Monkeyfilter twice a day read MeFi as well mucked around on html do you think I have a future?
• I once told an interviewer, while applying for a position, that I "didn't get along with authority". I didn't get that job.
• Hmm, my resume doesn't really have any numbers in it referring to things I produced or processed (as in # of clients served or projects completed, or any dollar values at all, actually), and it would be hard to go back and figure those kind of numbers out. Mostly I just list the type of work/projects I did, responsibilities held, whether I did them alone or with a team, research areas I'm familiar with, etc.
• INTERVIEWER: would you say you enjoy working alone? Bah! You are amateur interviewer. Give me job now!
• Camilo: Everyone has a future. Yours might not involve a paying job, however.
• *rubs crystal ball* I see your future, Camilo.. it involves a cardboard refrigerator box beneath the Houston underpass...
• You should also avoid adding the phrase "as our Dark Lord willed it" after every specific accomplishment. Other no-nos: "in preparation for the imminent Time of Blood", references to logistics and management of "Pain Rituals", any use of the word "Cleansed".
• And avoid saying "the voices in my head told me to do so". Unless you're already President.
• In my former life, I did a lot of interviewing and recruiting of software designers. The strangest resume I ever saw was one that had on its first page a schematic of the applicant's brain, showing with arrows and labels the "analytical part" and the "intuitive part". The scariest resume I ever saw was by some dude who wrote about his running battles with "the so-called experts", a 2-page rant single-spaced.
• In the middle of my interviews I like to jump up and say, "Time to die, Iron Eagle" or end interviewers questions with, "That's what she said."
• Hmm, well. Maybe it's just that my expertise is not in a computer/technical area, but I had great success being slightly vague in my resume and using the cover letter to point out how perfectly my resume skills fit the job the prospective employer had described. I got so good at it that I was offered jobs I hadn't applied for - like sales, though I'm an accounting/finance dweeb. On the other hand, the best jobs I had were due to networking. No resumes required.
• Yeah, I've never used a resume. Just blow jobs.
• Well, Chyren, I would think you'd prefer to word that a bit differently if you ever do decide to apply somewhere else. Sweet jebus, I hope he doesn't try to tell us how he KEEPS his job
• "Top facilitator" perhaps.
• Bottom facilitator. /eyebrow wiggle /unzips pants
• This looks like it might be helpful on a resume - but what about on a CV? A resume is for a job in Corporate Office Hell. I'm trying to put together a CV - a knock-em-dead listing of my academic career highlights - so that I can continue bringing home my meager paycheck. A resume doesn't help me much here in the Ivory-Towered Kingdom of Academia.
• One thing that can hurt your credibility: plagiarism
• OMG, now that was funny.
• Yeah, it was funny the first and second time too. Based on his other posts, I guess "Alan" is just republishing a bunch of articles from msnbc and the like at his blog.
• Employment Seeker Mistakes Nic Cage JPEG for CV, Inadvertently Sends Out Greatest Job Application Ever