September 18, 2005

• But if I email them, they'll know about my syphilis!
• this is just ASKING for trouble...
• but i like it...
• Good stuff!
• I ain't tellin either of them two blabbermouths about my mysterious rash. No way. That's top secret. D'oh!
• Do they have doctor-patient confidentiality? Or are they priests?
• If one is still concerned about revealing their identity/email address to good Koko and middleclasstool, another level of redirection can be utilized using a free Sneakemail remailer address. (Unrelated but another good thing about the regular use of Sneakemail addresses is that it can help you avoid spam and track who is selling/sharing your address. I don't get any spam to my Gmail address since only a couple trusted people have it. Everyone else gets a custom Sneakemail address and spammed Sneakemail addresses get filtered or banned before I ever see them. I do recommend their premium service, too, as it is cheap and useful.)
• I filled out one of those online forms to become a minister, so you know you can trust me. And that rash is just beet juice. And everyone already knows that Chy is syphillitic. But I would never, ever mention sexyrobot's secret Mexican prostitution ring. Oops! Thanks, Tracy, for letting George out of the closet!
• From the "Anongeorge" page: We'll take care of you as quickly as possible, but there may be the occasional lag as life outside MonkeyFilter (audible gasp!) may occasionally rear its ugly head and delay the poster from responding. Apparently there is no such thing as a life outside MonkeyFilter: Koko has posted 55 links and 1835 comments on MonkeyFilter since February 23, 2004. middleclasstool has posted 35 links and 4591 comments on MonkeyFilter since May 04, 2004. [Still, Koko and 'tool are great choices for this. Nice.]
• I have no public comment.
• It's just a pubicity stunt.
• It's just a pubicity stunt. Is it ever! I'm hoping it will improve my pubic relations.
• George is out of the closet?? His secret was safe with us.
• I filled out one of those online forms to become a minister, so you know you can trust me. Actually, I really did. So if any of you need me to perform marriage ceremonies or ritual sacrifices, my rates are reasonable. middleclasstool has posted 35 links and 4591 comments on MonkeyFilter since May 04, 2004. Motherfucker. I'm going outside RIGHT NOW.
• I do wish to stress the obvious, however — and I'm sure I speak for Koko on this, except when she starts in with the Schnapps — that we have no interest in judging you or your problems. I mean, sure, I'm going to tell Mrs. Tool, and we'll probably stage dramatic re-enactments for our friends during our monthly wine-tasting parties, but we're not going to ridicule you to your face or anything. If you wish an additional layer of secrecy, I have no problem with that. But I don't really care who you're screwing (so long as it ain't a child or defenseless animal).
• *Applies WD-40*
• Did she say 'pubic' relations? Dirty Mary!!!
• kitfisto has posted 65 links and 1745 comments on MonkeyFilter since March 08, 2004. So, what did you say your PIN number was again? Trust me.....
• bosco!
• so long as it ain't a child or defenseless animal My animals aren't defenseless. I have the scratches to prove it. er, nevermind. So what's with the comma in "Anonymous, George"?
• Boslwell?
• So what's with the comma in "Anonymous, George"? Er, trademark infringement avoidance? I don't know, actually.
• Well, originally CG posts were called Curious, George, which I took to be a sort of pun, turning the name into a question, as in "Curious, George, why do you smell like that?"
• Monkey Flashback: Original suggestion was that such threads be prefaced by Curious , George. And so they mostly were for a long time. The Curious, Georges have produced some of our funniest and/or most unusual threads.
• Come on now people! Don't you see what's happening here? It's so obvious! MCT and Koko apparently have accrued a raft of embarrassing questions to ask us about themselves! They are hiding behind this obvious facade to avoid the red faced shame of it all. From now on when we see an "Anonymous" George post, we'll know who it's really from, won't we?
• Anonymous, George: Why won't Mrs. Tool let me have anal sex with her?
• Because her very large buttocks combined with your excessively tiny penis equals the big zilch. Duh!
• Somebody is obsessed with ass fucking.
• Leave the equines alone!
• Anonymous, George: I'm actually middleclasstool's wife. He keeps wanting to put things in my bottom but mother says it's dirty. How many of you put things in your bottoms? Be descriptive.
• I used to keep an old car up there, an early-60s Buick, but I started having rust problems.
• It wasn't till the seventies that Buick opted for a fecal resistant clear cote- you should have waited.
• Mmh, I'd been toying with a similar idea - but on the lines of an 'anonymous' account, like that in MeFi. To avoid spammer's shennanigans, only trusted members would have the password to the account. Now, what the qualifications for being a 'trusted member' would be, that I have no idea. And I suppose posting has some kind of IP signature, so at least tracicle would have some hint of identities... Not that I would'nt trust those two illustrous monkeys, but feel an extra level of detachment and true anonimity would be needed to truly being able to let out some valid questions. I mean,it's not easy telling the world about my...
• Well, originally CG posts were called Curious, George But the majority of CG posts nowadays don't involve the comma. Heck, even the FAQ you reference doesn't use them consistently. No, I don't know why the comma bugs me so much.
• Where does "Curious, George" originally come from? I don't mean Dizzy's suggestion.
• I love teach!
• These days I mostly keep old filing cabinets up there, full of tax records; perfume-stenchy love notes from the many tragically sexy women who've pined for my touch over the years; my 1973 Mike Schmidt Topps rookie card; my research notes pertaining to piracy, pirate games, and pirate lingo; my dirt collection; and other items along those lines.
• Gyan: Curious George is a famous and beloved series of children's books about a monkey.
• All kidding aside, mct and I do intend to take this seriously. However, if you don't want him or I to know your dirty little secrets, you could always follow Nomen Nescio's advice, or even set up a Yahoo or Hotmail account with a pseudonym, with which to email us. I loves my monkey community, and was hoping to do something useful within it, to make up for all the pointless, juvenile comments I normally make. Oh, and also, I love teach.
• Dear anonymous george: none of my co-workers will invite to their wedding, boo hoo, I'm a great big chopped liver scoper. What should I do?
• Dear anonymous george: I like to have sex with goats. This is not a query, merely a boast.
• Dear anonymous george, I am a goat. My bum hurts. What should I do? *bleat*
• Dear anonymous george: The real reason I live in Liverpool is because I smell so bad that none of the London monkeys want to be near me. What is soap?
• Dear anonymous george: I am such a rubbish American I had to move to Canada, but now I'm rubbish at that too. I haven't even seen a moose. What should I do..er..eh?
• Dear anonymous george: I love me mum, but sometimes she yells at me and makes me wet myself a little. Will someone change my nappy?
• Dear anonymous george: I am a window licker. What should I do?
• Dear anonymous george: I am teh gheye. Please advise.
• Dear anonymous george: I have sewn my red winter long-johns on back to front. What should I do?
• Dear Anonymous George, I can't stop making stupid comments on an online site whose membership prides itself on their similarity to lower primates. Please help
• Dear kamus: give me ip, i hack u. Love, t3h h4xx0r!6
• Your all teh gay
• Dear anonymous george: I like to have sex with goats... Dear anonymous george, I am a goat. My bum hurts. Ah, stop it, you dirty furries.
• Dear anonymous, George: I am up HawthorneWingo's bottom. I feel like I should try and get out, but I kind of like it. What should I do?
• Order delivery pizza.
• With extra crinkly beetroot.
• Because her very large buttocks combined with your excessively tiny penis equals the big zilch. Duh! waraw, Mrs. Tool has officially declared a jihad on you. I would run for the fucking hills.
• Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.
• Dear Anonymous George: The aroma of pizza seems to be emanating from my butt, and the sound of someone chewing. Don't tell anyone, but I think there's a guy living up there. Does that make me teh gay? Also, I have an old 14-foot Boston Whaler, with a 60-hp Evinrude outboard (runs fine, but needs a new prop), that I want to shove up there. What should I do if it doesn't fit?
• Pull quiddy out, then you might have room.
• I can't freaking WAIT for the first ever proper anonymous george. Are we allowed to take the mickey out of them too?
• Dear Anonymous George: I like big butts and I can not lie, you other monkeys can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face - you get sprung, wanna pull out your tongue cuz you notice that butt was stuffed. Please advise.
• Dear Anonymous George, When traveling through the Fenlands region, I have a sudden need for anal massage. Is this wrong?
• Dear Anonymous George, I'm posessed of a propensity to enjoy the enlarged gluteus maximas musculature of select females. As much as I would prefer to conceal this prediliction, I feel embarassed at my inability to conceal this tendency from others. Your advice?
• I think I'm gonna get my 6-year-old niece to become a monkey. She'd fit right in. She calls me "Big Eric," and it melts my heart. She also break dances whenever her mom starts rapping "I like big butts and I cannot lie...." Since she was two, it's been like that. She calls it "having a dance party."
• We need more six-year olds. Someone's got to be the voice of reason, goddamit! I prefer a pert butt, if it helps clarify things.
• You better be nice when the first AnonG pops up, because mct and Koko went to a lot of trouble for you guys. And because it might be mine. Unless it's about genital warts, in which case it's not. /has no butt
• Well unless the questions are about art, the SS or shovelling cat shit, I doubt very much I'll be able to make a valuable contribution anyway... /is once again on the giving up smoking trip, all this mentioning of butts isn't helping
• Good luck, kitfisto! This will improve your odor immensely!
• Dear Koko and Middle Class Tool Enormous, George, So, I've been up HawthorneWingo's bumm for a while now, and I've decided I quite like it. While HawthorneWingo may or may not be teh gay, I have noticed that his duodenum resembles this girl I once had a crush on during my undergrad days. I never got it on with her, but I sure would like to do it with the duodenum. My question is, is having sex with someone's internal organs considered cheating on my spouse? At what point is it considered sex (in the Clintonian sense)? Thank you, Stuck in Love
• mct and Koko went to a lot of trouble for you guys Actually, it was all mct, I just hopped on the bandwagon.
• What's this about a bandwagon? I'm not too late, am I?
• s'alright - I covered for us...
• Tracy, would you mind linking the Simian user pages on the AnonGeorge page? Also, we'll need the prognosis on those genital warts.
• Are we allowed to take the mickey out of them too? um, what?
• Ö
• (That'll be a Mickey or an umwhat, depending on yer viewpoint.)
• I think this thread is a very good indicator of the kind of dignified responses that the questioner will receive. I, for one, decry the juvenile comments and preschool snickering that has occurred here especially when the word "butt" is mentioned. I think even HawthorneWingo's 6 year old niece would be appalled at the lack of maturity on display here. You people make me sick!
• heh, your name looks a little bit like 'anus'... pffft! You also said 'butt' Double pffft!
• Isn't "pffft" the sound of baby panda flatulence?
• Why you, I oughta....! Don't make me come over there! (Splutters ineffectually)
• You said "come."
• This is why we can't have nice things. You kids give me such a headache!
• You said "things." You said "head." You said "can't" -er, nevermind.
• 
• 
• What, no more "butt" jokes? BTW, I'm waiting for a real Anonymous George. Someone on MoFi must have something embarrassing they want to ask. Maybe this thread put the potential candidates off. Seriously, it was a thoughtful idea that MCT, Koko and Tracicle have put forward. And even though no-one has jumped on it yet, it's reassuring to know that the resource is there to be used when needed. ) ) )
• Anonymous George: Why aren't I getting any of all this anal action?
• Anonymous George: I have a big date coming up. How can I cover up the herpes sores around my colostomy hole? What, I'm not allowed to work blue?
• I think kamus should have the honour of posting the first real AG, as he loves it so much. In fact, the first one will be attributed to him no matter who posts, so now's your chance to really ask about that anal seepage / goat-stalking incident and let kamus take the flak.