August 31, 2005
I Used to Believe.
A collection of childhood misconceptions.
Heh. Stupid kids...
Many seem to be grownups trying to be funny, not stuff they actually used to believe. Like the Help Wanted one, the Lieutenant one, etc...
I used to believe that this would be posted only once.
*readies tentacles*
Shit.
Oh well.
I was skeptical that those things they put on the bottom of the door would keep out a determined giraffe, but I had to think about it.
*gives kitfisto a reassuring tentacle massage*
One disillusion after another:
1.Onstage, Alice in Wonderland's a grown-op wearing braids and she smells strongly of sweat and Chanel No 5
2.There are no swans in Swan Lake just more grownup girls wearing dirty white stockings and thumping about a lot.
3.The Dame is actually a man.
4.Red Indians are not red.
5.And not Indians, either.
6.Conclusion: adults cannot be relied on to tell children the truth.
*gives kitfisto a reassuring wedgie*
*enjoys the tentacle rub, and strangley, the wedgie too*
To make up for a crap double post - have some rare Asiatic cheetahs instead.
Ah. Teh cute.
You may also enjoy this episode of This American Life: "A Little Bit of Knowledge"
Stories about the pitfalls of knowing just a little bit too little.
Prologue. Ira describes the thing that we all do at some point: talk expertly about something we don't actually know anything about. It's so common, explains This American Life Contributing Editor Nancy Updike, some friends of hers invented an imaginary magazine devoted to such blathering. It's called "Modern Jackass." (4 1/2 minutes)
Act One. Small Thoughts in Big Brains. This American Life producer Alex Blumberg investigates a little-studied phenomenon: Children who get a mistaken idea in their heads about how something works or what something means, and then don't figure out until well into adulthood that they were wrong. (13 minutes) -> Real Audio link
I used to believe cute things attributed to kids on the internet were actually said by kids.
Another related This American Life episode: "Kid Logic".
The part in act one when the kid talks about Jesus and MLK always kills me.
Dang it. Realplayer can't penetrate my company's defenses. I want some This American Life at work! Is that so wrong?
I liked the recent one where the former SNL cast member who's now famous for her one-woman shows (I can never remember her name...she was "Pat") did a piece about trying to regain her faith by reading the bible cover to cover with a chuch study group, and ending up only being more convinced her doubts were founded. Funny and sad.
Wish I could listen to it at work. *grumble grumble*
Ah, here we go--Julia Sweeney, in the episode "Godless America." From her one-woman show "Letting Go of God." Worth hearing.
I saw that--very good, surprisingly good.
I Used to Believe...
That the moon was made of green cheese.
That some kids stuck beans in their nose. Or dried peas.
That Santa was an elf.
That it was rude to help myself.
And that those who wrote in Linear B
in no way resembled modern me.
We now have exactly four thousand members. Just thought I would share that with the avid readers of this thread.
Ooh!
Mr. Horshack? You have a question?
Four thousand? Oh, never fear ---
FEMA will send fresh water
in about a year
dry humour this ain't
I used to believe that if we grew this big, we would no longer be "consciously more collegial and respectful of each other" (in the words of one gone for quite a while now). It's wobbly, but it's still working, mirabile dictu.
We love each other. mostly
Especially with parsley.
I hate the fact that the departed are now just "Anonymous." History should be preserved.
Fortunately, that can no longer happen. Users aren't allowed to delete accounts anymore.
We love each other.
Speak for yourself, pre-vert.
History must be DESTROYED to make room for ALL NEW AND IMPROVED history. Delete! Delete! Ok!
MonkeyFilter: One disillusion after another.
MonkeyFilter: It's wobbly, but it's still working, mirabile dictu.
Oy, Goetter, I tip my hat to you.
One more.
Monkeyfilter: Delete! Delete! O[o]k!
another month has passed
since I posted this last
...and I still believe new monkeys need this information if they are to savour the monkeyfulter experience in full.
I think new monkeys really just need to know that I'm the club treasurer, and their subscriptions need to be in pretty soon if they want to keep their login.
I take paypal.
Nonsense! Pay kitfisto in beetroots!
Mmmm...gold-plated beets...
bees, I think you mean this information.
So I do -- thank you, ;anguiagehat~
/bee-wildered
Acn!
=languagehat
aahhh, the sweet satisfaction of a deleted post- thanks kittfisto!
My pleasure.
Now pay up, you goddam goalkeeping philosopher! I'm backdating the fees!
I think goetter was channeling Dr. Bronner. Quite brilliantly at that.
I will now channel the English . . . to France!
leaves sway with a sharper wind
and I recall a lone deer
carefully placing
each hoof in deep snow
as it crossed the meadow
a few months ago --
an undercurrent always flows
below the torrent of things
my heart would choose to hold
in earnest nuts begin to fall
a walnut's yellow leaves
lie scattered on the grass
I think resignedly
of taking hammocks down
of gathering early apples
in this too-encroaching fall
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