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February 10, 2004

"The maxi pads woke me in the middle of the night. I saw maxi-pads as coasters, maxi-pads as rug stoppers, maxi-pads doing everything but the darn dishes. Hey, wait a minute _ I bet they COULD do the darn dishes!"

posted by SideDish at 04:21PM UTC [trackback] (21 comments total)

They make excellent trauma dressings: absorbent, sanitary, readily available, very inexpensive.

posted by goetter at 06:23PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Mazi pads...[well, damn, that comment's cancelled]...made by Nazis?

posted by beeswacky at 06:50PM UTC on February 10, 2004

"Belly button cleaners"?
W.
T.
F.

posted by forksclovetofu at 06:59PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Hey forks, I bet it's handy for those with belly button lint. Like this guy. (Thanks SideDish!)

posted by ambrosia at 07:13PM UTC on February 10, 2004

yes from feminine hygiene to naval fluff collections, we have it all here at monkey filter. heh.

posted by SideDish at 07:37PM UTC on February 10, 2004

I'm in toxic shock over the very idea.

posted by BlueHorse at 08:17PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Pop-Tarts can do everything them pads can do, plus you gets to eat 'em later.

posted by Anonymous at 08:45PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Pop-Tarts seem a bit rough for the original useage. Call me crazy.

posted by Pez at 09:38PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Dizzy:

I don't know if you intended that to be the most revolting statement ever, but you sure succeeded.

*yack*

posted by Kimberly at 09:43PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Pop-Tarts seem a bit rough for the original useage. Call me crazy.

And a bit...ugh...for the after usage...

Pop-Tarts can do everything them pads can do, plus you gets to eat 'em later.

Man, that is just grotesque, Dizzy!

posted by f8xmulder at 09:58PM UTC on February 10, 2004

diz, lemme say this right now and head you off.

and i do believe i am speaking for the women of the entire world here.

*i don't want to use a weetabix in that way.*

i don't even want to THINK about using a weetabix that way.

although they probably would work better than a pop-tart...

NO!!!! not going to go there!!!

posted by SideDish at 10:01PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Weetabix are the most absorbant material known to man, though.

posted by dng at 10:03PM UTC on February 10, 2004

hmmm. weetabix vs. pop-tart absorption rates... must calculate...

posted by SideDish at 10:08PM UTC on February 10, 2004

of course weetabix would be more itchy...

posted by SideDish at 10:09PM UTC on February 10, 2004

A BRIEF APOLOGY:

Sorry.

A BRIEF BACKPEDALING:

I was thinking about the "belly button de-liter" use mentioned directly above my original remark. But I will take the bullet!

Big Hugs?

posted by Anonymous at 11:25PM UTC on February 10, 2004

And let's not knock the Weetabix, ok? That stuff is making me so jangly, so whoopda-moofamocious, so full of the JOY of the BIX, Amen.
I call it "Cereal For Busy People".

posted by Anonymous at 11:28PM UTC on February 10, 2004

Dizzy'z busy.

You'll have to use the one down the hall.

posted by BlueHorse at 02:01AM UTC on February 11, 2004

I can't feel my legs.
And I 've read all the backs of the shampoo bottles.
Could somebody slip me a NY Times crossword or something?...

posted by Anonymous at 02:23AM UTC on February 11, 2004

Muuuuuuuuum! Dizzy's been in the toilet for half an hour and I don't think he's tinkling!

posted by Blaise Bailey Finnegan at 11:41AM UTC on February 11, 2004

Diz, I love-hate pop-tarts now more than ever thanks to you. Kudos!

posted by Zemat at 03:44PM UTC on February 11, 2004

OK OK I'm out already. Yeesh.
Let the fan run a little.

posted by Anonymous at 07:01PM UTC on February 11, 2004

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