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June 27, 2005

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah! I knew he was creepy already, but I wasn't aware his powers had become so strong. He must be stopped.

posted by Hatred at 08:23AM UTC [trackback] (25 comments total)

...I have no idea how that posted twice as I didn't double click anything. Between this and my phone switching to Spanish in mid conversation (voice, not text) I'm beginning to think I shouldn't touch any electronic devices for awhile.

posted by Hatred at 08:25AM UTC on June 27, 2005

Random occasional server burp.

posted by tracicle at 08:55AM UTC on June 27, 2005

Oh, tracicle, if only you could fix my phone now.

posted by Hatred at 09:47AM UTC on June 27, 2005

Hit it with a hammer.

posted by Chyren at 09:50AM UTC on June 27, 2005

Obey. Obey. OBEY.

posted by Chyren at 09:53AM UTC on June 27, 2005

I can barely work my own phone, dude. Can someone delete my SMS messages?

posted by tracicle at 10:52AM UTC on June 27, 2005

RIIIIIIIIISE Darth Mapother....

posted by surlyboi at 02:03PM UTC on June 27, 2005

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah.

Why couldn't this be true? *sigh* What a great Monday it would have been.

posted by oklo at 02:26PM UTC on June 27, 2005

Actually, if the headline were to be true, I would prefer, Tom Cruise and Oprah kill eachother in a razor-studded "cock" fight.

posted by sugarmilktea at 02:39PM UTC on June 27, 2005

Ha! I like your headline better, sugarmilktea.

posted by oklo at 02:42PM UTC on June 27, 2005

I would pay to see that.

posted by drivingmenuts at 03:55PM UTC on June 27, 2005

[insert e-meter joke]

posted by mare at 03:58PM UTC on June 27, 2005

I actually don't know what all the hubbub is about with this, I saw him on Oprah when it happened and didn't think anything of it.

posted by Paranoia Agent at 04:43PM UTC on June 27, 2005

I saw him on Letterman and he was creepier than usual, his laughter really gets on my nerves.
If I seriously doubted watching 'this summer's cinematic event!™', now all this month-long, multimedia advertising campaign has nailed it for me.

posted by Flagpole at 05:09PM UTC on June 27, 2005

What's nailed it for me is Cruise's asinine (sp?) statements about psychiatry and anti-depressants. Ah, yes, Tom: We should believe you, and not science, because you believe our planet was populated by reptilian aliens millions of years ago....

If one person kills him/herself after going off anti-depressants because of what Cruise said, Cruise should be charged with manslaughter.

posted by HawthorneWingo at 09:41PM UTC on June 27, 2005

I, for one, welcome our new...

posted by techsmith at 10:30PM UTC on June 27, 2005

Hatred, I think that no debes tocar aparatos electrónicos.

posted by languagehat at 11:39PM UTC on June 27, 2005

Tom Cruise is BATSHIT INSANE!!

posted by SpishCo at 11:52PM UTC on June 27, 2005

does anyone have a link to the original oprah footage?
or the today show one?

i was predicting the meltdown of this latent homo freak for oh, about ten years from now...as his looks start to go...but, hey, now is fine too....what spishco said...

posted by sexyrobot at 01:10AM UTC on June 28, 2005

I like his bangs.

posted by middleclasstool at 03:46AM UTC on June 28, 2005

Fucking homos

posted by techsmith at 05:50AM UTC on June 28, 2005

What i'd really like to see is Tom Cruise swinging Oprah Winfrey around his head and running into a room filled with porcelain vases on tippy pedestals.

posted by StoryBored at 05:09PM UTC on June 28, 2005

Once done with Oprah, Cruise turned the dastardly powers on himself, leaving nothing but a pile of ash of the both of them

Yes, please.

posted by ball point head at 06:16PM UTC on June 28, 2005

rofl, so so awesome. I haven't laughed like that in a while.

posted by Proteus Moteus at 11:23PM UTC on June 28, 2005

Brooke fires back

posted by sugarmilktea at 09:32PM UTC on July 01, 2005

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