February 06, 2004

• My Vote would be for the $165 memo pad holder or the $3000 Menorah.
• Let me see--- $3000 divided by 402 is... $7.46 USD. Isn't Tori Worth It?
• I cannot stop myself from posting this in relation to this article. NSFW.
• Uh, Dizzy - whatever led you to that link? Since I mostly surf the web using links provided by the rest of you, sometimes I'm really curious about how someone found the path to such a place and why they followed it. This may sound snarky, but I really am dying to know. I guess the closest to monkey-themed loot are the vine covered crystal things. The floral vine square bowl at $375 would cost each of us only $.93.
• Maybe Dizzy is on the guest list...
• dng - of course! I'd forgotten that some people do have a social life.
• boo-- She got four or five of those at her bat mitzvah some 20 years ago... path-- I saw this at Gawker.com yesterday, a delightfully snarkalicious site... (I should have credited the link.) You'll have to ask them how they happened upon the idea, but since bridal registry is by its very nature a public announcement, I'm curious who ELSE we could find there ( or on Crate and Barrel or any other gift site...). The Matt Drudgification of the Web continues apace, and if it lets me gleefully snicker over the Toris of the world, I'm all for it. Except now I feel dirty.
• For $2800, that menorah better get up the next morning*, do the dishes, bake a pie, AND make me coffee. * I'll leave out the specific details from the night before, thereby saving you from beating your head with a brick until the imagery is gone.
• Look at the happy couple. I think they're going to produce some creepy John Kerry clones.
• Dr. Z-- I'd postulate that they actually look almost human here. When she tries to SPEAK DIALOGUE, that is when I scream and leave the room. I wish them the best, because it must be hell to have all the cash in the world but know in your heart you cannot enjoy the respect of your co-workers.
• jim_t - You forgot 'pay my taxes' ;)
• Okay, I
• Lighten up, boychik. We know that. This is about Tori, who is and will remain tacky as hell, world without end.
• naxosaxur: I'm sorry that you took those comments personally. I'm positive it wasn't anyone's intention to make you feel uncomfortable. However, they were making fun of Tori and Tiffany's and not of the Jewish faith. Their comments were not an attempt to completely invalidate the suffering of Jews throughout time. I'm not saying you don't have a valid point, but the way you made it makes it nearly impossible to appreciate.
• nanosaxur - I hardly think anyone here is mocking the memorah itself. We get that it's value derives from the spiritual importance, not because you got it at Tiffany's or you spent $3k on it. The value obviously comes from the meaning you *bring* to it - a point you make quite eloquently by referring to your ancestors. If you've got $3K to splurge on a spiritual item, go for it, but that doesn't make it more sacred.
• ::sigh:: 'its', not 'it's'
• ......and 'menorah' Can anyone tell me why I bothered to get out of bed this morning?!
• Lighten up, boychik goetter? WHAT. THE. FUCK? This is about tolerance vs. ignorance; not about curbing my vehemence. Insensitive prick, much?
• Nax; This was my post, so I feel a certain initial responsibilty: As others have said, my motive was making fun of Tori and her gigantic consumerism. Look at that "wish list"-- it is ten miles long. And she's already loaded! The irony! Judaism was never a factor. Please take my word on this. Your heated response was pretty shocking, because we were NEVER shading any of this with anti-semitism. So can you believe me when I tell you this? Please?
• Insensitive prick, much? That's me. I take it that now is not the time to share with you my extensive collection of JAP jokes. This is about tolerance vs. ignorance; not about curbing my vehemence. This was meant to be about limiting the amount of semi-chewed food that you were spitting onto the monitor as you typed your furious screed. Your passion, while admirable, is misplaced here. In any event, I'm sorry to have exercised you so. Please accept my apology.
• Dizzy, I never spoke of anti-semitism, it was maybe an insinuation: Just as the above comments never overtly spoke of anti-semitism, but I felt an ghastly, indirect allusion. My strongest criticism is that out of all the items on her Tiffany registry, the only one being mocked in this thread was the $2800K menorah: Eleven comments into the thread is when I reacted, and already three comments quickly mocked the nature of the menorah. Not a single mention of any other item on her list (except briefly the $165 memo pad holder). Hmmm, I see a shitty rollerball pen on the same registry for $160, and a silver, rectangular tray for $2450K, and a mantel clock for $1350K. Now, do you think I
• Nax, I really think it was, more than anything, bad luck that someone chose the menorah to joke about. I have no doubt that no one here intended anything cruel or bigoted in any way, and as you say the joke could well have been about any other item on the list. For all I know, jim-T took a pin and stabbed the screen at random for something to comment about. Just know that there was nothing hatefilled in this thread, and I doubt very much indeed that it would have headed in an "ugly direction" as you feel it would have. In other words, Chill out, we're all monkeys here.
• (And that applies to everyone, not just naxosaur, k?)
• Nax, it isn't even close to a relic yet if it's new at Tiff's. And it was easily the most expensive item on the list, by hundreds of dollars. For that reason alone, it invited mockery. I didn't grow up with a $2.8K-out-of-the-Blue-box menorah, I assure you, though my grandparents had some nice heirloom pieces that certainly are "worth" more than that now. On preview: I be chillin'. Sorry, Tracy.
• wow, this looks fun! can i join in? I'm Jewish? I'm siiiiiiingle....
• forks: a/m/f/l?
• 87/herm/nantucket
• Not out of a wish to add another bruise to a dying horse, but as the person who first brought up the Menorah, please allow me to say that it was certainly not my intention to offend anybody or show disrespect. The reason I mentioned it was quite simply that it struck me as kind of funny to find it amid a list of such banality. cup, plate, soap dish, plate, cup, knife, menorah, cup plate, soap dish, knife. Looking over my post I can imagine it being seen as the drawing of some parallel between the silliness of the indulgent notepad and the menorah, but that was not my intention.
• Shotsy, thanks for trying to take the bullet on this one, but my comment on the menorah seemed to have started this shitstorm. SHITSTORM! It was never my intention to bring the religious connotation of the menorah into question. I would have made the exact same comment if she had asked for a (MST)$3K crucifix or a statue of Ganesh. I realize that the Jewish people have been among the most persecuted group of people in human history. It is truly horrible that less than 60 years ago, the lives of 6 million people were extinguished. I'm not a religious man, but to me, the idea of taking a significant icon of faith and transforming it into a $3000 showpiece cheapens it. But that's me.
• I searched Amazon.com for Tori's wishlist, but alas, no luck. Too bad she's not a famous blogger. 'Cause then, she'd definitely have a wishlist, and we'd all know about it.
• The Limited? Home Depot? Tupperware? Burt's Bees? C'mon people! TORI NEEDS OUR HELP!
• Tori as camgirl. You know, that's not such a reach.
• Bingo! Tori's Pottery Barn Registry
• Dr. Z-- Excellent work! I tried to find her at Build-A-Bear and Spencer's Gifts; alas, they don't maintain a registry, probably because their customers don't fit the marriage demo...
• That Pottery Barn link won't go straight to the registry, but just go to "Find a Registry" and put Tori Spelling in there. It's disturbing how easy it is. I suppose it is the real Tori and not someone being funny...
• Hmm. What are thinking, Evil Lord Tracicle?
• (Dang.) What are YOU thinking, Evil etc, etc...?
• Her Williams Sonoma registry has more stuff in our price range...
• Notice the Bar Mop towels are on sale for $10!
• The "Citrus Trumpet" (w.t.f.?) is $6.00 USD. $6.00 USD divided by 400 (turns out that Wolof and Dr. Zaius are the same monkey, and assuming a couple others have doubled accounts too), we can safely assume we'll each have to cough up roughly 15 cents USD. Postage to mail 15 cents USD, plus envelope and incidentals, roughly 50 cents USD. Plus our 400 teensy-weensy-engraved names on the trumpet, most likely done by some M.I.T. moonlighting undergrad and his home-brewed electon-micrscope engra-va-laser: add $40,000 USD, divided by 400=$100.50 USD. Mail your check today to: Dizzy c/o Jim Loy's Pesto Rancho and Playland Paintball Adventure Behind the Old Mill Silo 9 Idaho, or Montana, or Somewhere Like That.
• Yeah, right. Like she does her own cooking. I suppose Nick and Jessica attempt to do their own cooking, so I should prolly give them the benefit of the doubt. We could get her the Clear Silicone Spatula Set. You know, to match her breasts.
• I'm not Dr Zaius. I passed that name on to someone else, with instructions to pass it on as he saw fit but not to tell me about it and to impose the same condition on any subsequent user. This means that the "true" identity of Dr Zaius is known only to 3 people at any one time
• Dr. Zira-- (that was good.)
• Dr. Zira-- (that was good.) I noticed the stainless wall-mountable Ipecac dispenser with matching ShameFree mouth-wipes was a steal at $295 USD (engraving extra, of course.)
• Inconceivable!