April 28, 2005

Mind Your Manners! “Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manner is personality—the outward manifestation of one’s innate character and attitude toward life.” Emily Post We can't all be Miss Manners, but perhaps an Etiquette Seminar might be the right step in becoming an Etiquette Consultant.

Or you could just buy some sort of weird-ass women's self-improvement video. Either way, whether you're visiting Japan, in a barroom, in a restroom, on a boat, on a golf course or on the internet, whether you're a straight guy being come out to, a debutante in the bedroom, a swinger (ad NSFW), a redneck or a Freemason, whether you're toking, being set upon by hoodlums, playing at recess or planning a wedding, if you follow these simple rules, you'll never wind up in Etiquette Hell.

posted by Koko 19 years ago
  • April 28, 2005 My Dearest Koko: Thank you so very much for your informative and, at times, quite amusing front page post. You obviously put a great deal of work into it, and I for one truly appreciate your thoughtfulness. Kind Regards, SideDish
  • April 28, 2005 Gentle SideDish: I am so glad you found my post helpful and entertaining! It was a labor of love, I assure you. Thank you for your kind words. As SideDishes go, you are some kind of really fancy yummy rice pilaf. Sincerely, Koko
  • *barges in, stinking of gin* Hey! Kokooooooo! Beauty post! WHOOooo! Damn fine! Damn fine! (Hey kid, hows it goin?! *rumples hair*) *Bahhrrrp* Woo! Hey you got any chips? *scratches self*
  • That's our Pete!
  • April 28, 2005 Mr. P. Best, esq. Sir, Your vulgar assault on the sensibilities of our gentle Koko was an outrage. Your shameful comportment brings dishonor to us all and I have no choice but to challenge you. You, sir, are not a gentleman, you are bounder and a cad. For your reference, The Irish Code. Choose your second, bananas at dawn! Sincerely, Major (ret.) I.S. Lander, ODB
  • Islander's really Old Dirty Bastard?
  • Whoops, perhaps I shouldn't have said that out loud in polite company?
  • *faints*
  • ooga - Order of the Daquiri (Banana). Although the dirty bastard part may sometimes apply.
  • Brilliant post, Koko!
  • Deportment? I can't read that word without thinking of Dickens's Old Mr Turveydrop. I think that's a Good Thing, too.
  • Why thank you, Master Quidnunc!
  • No, thank you dear lady.
  • No no, I insist, thank you.
  • Goddamit you bitch, I say THANK YOU.
  • You're welcome! cunt
  • hee hee!
  • :D
  • my gentle friends, let me say that you are all sick fucks.
  • *Offers petebest and islander a brace of dueling bananas* This is a cool post Koko. Thanks. Ignore Master Quidnunc if you would, he's had a bit to much of the bannana absinthe. (And isnt' that a horrible idea. banana and wormwood. bleh.)
  • Would that I could ignore Master Quidnunc. The vapors about him are most pungent. *swirls snifter of banana cognac*
  • Oh yeah blame it all on the stinkweed kid. WHATEVER.
  • The Ayatollah's Book of Etiquette.
  • It is loathsome to eat the meat of a horse, a mule, or a donkey if someone has had coitus with the animal I should say so!
  • Excuse me, but would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?
  • An essay on manners from 1894. Hissing people down was polite it seems at the opera, but hat's were not. *Need powdered wig* <:(!)
  • Or hats, rather.
  • Klingons, on the other hand, need to be spoon fed the norms of polite society.