April 19, 2005

New Pope - Cardinal Joeseph Ratzinger is now Pope Benedict XVI
posted by Spooky 19 years ago
  • Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse...
  • Is the election of Joeseph Ratzinger as Pope a good thing or a bad thing? Why? Show your work. *sits back, waits*
  • (1) quidnunc was the only sensible choice for pope (2) Ratzinger is not quidnunc (3) Therefore, Ratzinger is a smelly bum wee-wee poo head pope.
  • They pick the favorite, the guy who campaigned for the job? It's like they're not even trying...
  • I'm poped out
  • NO ONE EXPECTS THE... They pick the favorite, the guy who campaigned for the job? ...nevermind
  • *copies off quidnunc's paper*
  • good for who? If he takes the church hard to the right and the church marginalizes itself and people worldwide pay less attention to it than they do now, that would be good for some and bad for others. Will Benedict XVI have the moral gravitas that JP II had? He doesn't have Poland going for him, like his predecessor. Maybe the Papacy can be the new British Royal Family.
  • Best word of the day: "ecumenically".
  • That would be an ecumenical matter.
  • well, there's the question of "what did you do in the war, papa?" to which ratzinger's response has been: "...although he was opposed to the Nazi regime, any open resistance would have been futile" others disagree, "Elizabeth Lohner, 84, whose brother-in-law was sent to Dachau as a conscientious objector, dismiss such suggestions. "It was possible to resist, and those people set an example for others," she said. "The Ratzingers were young and had made a different choice."
  • Is the election of Joeseph Ratzinger as Pope a good thing or a bad thing? Why? Show your work. A bad thing. Ratzinger sucks.
  • Frankly, I think it's just FAAAAAABULOUS that a former Hitler youth is now pope. /sarcasm
  • Never mind the truth, 'Ratzinger was a Nazi' is now officially factesque. People who keep repeating this toid of course have no axe to grind about the Catholic church or anything.
  • Frankly, I think it's just FAAAAAABULOUS that a former Hitler youth is now pope. Well, if as MCroft suggests, the papacy is going to become the new British Royal Family, choosing a German Nazi is certainly a step in the right direction
  • I'm quite surprised that they ended up voting for the favorite. Though it is worth mentioning that Ratzinger is currently only 7 years younger than JPII Was when he died. I think the cardinals took the choice which changed course from JPII the least while still voting for a pope who has virtually no chance of having a 26 year pontificate.
  • Never mind the truth, 'Ratzinger was a Nazi' is now officially factesque. People who keep repeating this toid of course have no axe to grind about the Catholic church or anything.
    i don't think ratzinger was a nazi, but i'm concerned about his failure to oppose the nazis. there are sins of omission as well as sins of commission.
  • Thousand-year Reich, baby! Thousand-year Reich! (Sorry. I know he's not a Nazi. But as a German American, I feel that I get to call them all war criminals at the drop of a hat. Anyway, Ratzinger's a douche. A hardline to the right means more years of suffering for developing nations [without the sympathy that a native of a developing country could rouse within the laity], but growing irrelevency in the West. A bad choice on both counts.)
  • Nazi's nothin' - he opposes legalizing gay marriage and the use of condoms! ♫ You gotta fight x! x! For your right . . . x! x! x! To Piiiiiiiiiieeetay! ♫ I'll show myself out. Thanks.
  • I really don't care what he did 60 years ago. I'm disappointed that the Cardinals picked a moral hard-liner and passed on an opportunity for reform and modernization.
  • wasn't he jpII's hand-picked successor?
  • i don't think ratzinger was a nazi, but i'm concerned about his failure to oppose the nazis.
    He was five when the Nazis gained power! The Nazis controlled the media and education. Enrollment in the Hitler Youth was either compulsory, or seen as compulsory. He (claims to have) joined against his will in 1941 . It would be one thing to accuse someone of being a true believer if they joined up in the 1930s, but by 41 the Germans kids were nicely brainwashed with a decade of propaganda. Plus he was 14! What did you oppose when you were five? Or fourteen?
  • from AFP: Ratzinger has also attacked rock music, calling it "the expression of basic passions." there you have it, folks, our new pope.
  • As if his name wasn't bad enough RATZ RATZ, you dirty RATZ!, now I'll think EGGS everytime his new name is mentioned More disappointing, boring and predictable news...
  • What did you oppose when you were five? Or fourteen? Exactly. Not to mention that that's easy criticism to make when you have no idea what it's like to live under a violent dictator (please hold all Bushfilter jokes until the end, thank you). There are plenty of good reasons to oppose Ratzinger as Pope. Not one of them has anything to do with his childhood.
  • What did you oppose when you were five?
    baths, green vegetables mostly.
    Or fourteen?
    nuclear weapons. check your dates. he was 14 in 1941. in 1943, ratzinger served in an anti-aircraft battery that protected bmw plants. he saw slave workers from dachau at the factory. prior to deserting in april 1944, he served in hungary, he saw jews being sent to death camps.
  • There are plenty of good reasons to oppose Ratzinger as Pope. Not one of them has anything to do with his childhood.
    i disagree. i think that his behavior as a teenager is important. he entered a seminary prior to serving in the german armed forces. i don't understand how someone who is being trained as a representative of the divine could avoid protesting obviously inhumane treatment of prisoners.
  • well, ok, so even if you discount his childhood activities or lack thereof, he still thinks that gay=root of all evil, gay parents= violently abused children, condoms=bad, and lots of other head in the sand behavior that is unbecoming in any sort of world leader, much less one with 1 billion followers.
  • don't forget rock music=evil, es el queso!
  • roryk: [...]
    One might take you more seriously if you cared to follow the simple rules of written English, or reigned in your sanctimony. *plonk*
  • Bah.... who gives a shit..... /snark
  • (Yes, I am aware of the irony in my previous comment.)
  • Pope Ratso I
  • oh dear sounds like it's time for a KITTEN WITH TWO FACES & 4 EYES
  • follow the simple rules of written English, or reigned in your sanctimony. First Law of Internet Thermodynamics: Any post critiquing someone's spelling or grammar will itself contain at least one spelling or grammatical error. :P (on preview: heh)
  • Great head of hair for a man of 78 - although he does look quite like Sir Les Patterson. (struggling for something positive to say)
  • SideDish just made baby Jesus's kitty cry.
  • If there's anyone who needs to rein in their sanctimony... That said, I think I have learned something from this thread. I think fuyugare is actually the new Pope. In this day and age, you gotta believe they're surfing around the net, looking to see who's dissing them and all that, yo. Otherwise I fail to see what could have made someone get so upset that they rag on someone for using lowercase letters when they themselves used the term "factesque" earlier in the thread. Oh, and 14 is plenty old enough to protest things, and I never even had anything that bad to protest. I'm not saying I know better than what happened there, but honestly, bad argument. < /enough> and that kitten - how are we supposed to calm down after that thing? ;)
  • He appears to be human..I think
  • I was stunned to hear it. Nevermind that he was supposedly the favourite, I was still stunned that they actually would do it. My first thought was "oh, shit." My second thought was "at least he won't last very long." We should only have to cart around another drooling Pope for what, ten years, max? Deus meam. Another old man to make me feel guilty for wearing a French tickler on my John Thomas...
  • As if this wasn't decided years ago. Hitler youth? Concern about a different kind of "youth" may be more germane to the catholic church today.
  • French ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Whatever.
  • Wasn't this supposed to take two and a half years? I'm disappointed.
  • i notice in the CNN bio there's no mention of the "H" word. Maybe it's a mute point. heh
  • fuyugare:One might take you more seriously if you cared to follow the simple rules of written English, or reigned in your sanctimony. *plonk*
    more like *wank*. but you allege to have kf'd me, so you'll never know. i have lots of problems with ratzinger's stand on all sorts of issues, but my problems start with his failure to object to serve in the german war machine. i know he was young and you can call me old-fashioned, but i reserve the right to hold god's representative on earth to a higher standard. this is just one more example of the catholic church's ambivalent attitude to nazi germany.
  • I dont really care about this much, but I did like this quote... He has since said that although he was opposed to the Nazi regime, any open resistance would have been futile If only there had been someone in the Christian religon who had been faced with a similar situation at some point in history who he could have looked to for guidance...
  • from a press report, background on alleged Nazi ties: He was born in April 1927 in Marktl Am Inn, Bavaria, to staunchly anti-Nazi parents and joined a preparatory seminary in Traunstein in 1939. It was there he saw the harrowing years of Nazi rule - forced at one point to join the Hitler Youth - and endured the early stages of the Second World War. He was eventually drafted as an assistant to a Nazi anti-aircraft unit in 1943 and sent to Munich. In May 1945 he deserted - risking being shot on the spot if found - but was seized by US soldiers and held in a POW camp for several weeks. Ratzinger is said to have hitched a ride home on a milk truck and was ordained, along with his brother, in 1951.
  • Looks like we both lost quidnunc. I can still beat the shit out of Bennidict in full contact boxing though.
  • ahem
  • Ratzinger has also attacked rock music, calling it "the expression of basic passions." Coming soon: "The Basic Passions of the Christ", with a cameo by Sharon Stone.
  • Who really cares? It's not like this retarded belief system is relevant. A 'bad pope' just pushes the thing more toward extinction which is good. Anyway, he certainly can't be as bad as some of the popes of history.
  • Looks like we both lost quidnunc What do you mean? I'm right here! And who are you talking to? Pope Bendy Dick? He can't hear you, he's in Rome! This is exactly why they wouldn't elect YOU, squidranch! They probably got us mixed up too - otherwise I was a shoe-in, even despite the fact that I never went back in time and opposed Attila the Hun, the horrid beast.
  • I say we elect Quidnunc as an Anti-Pope. Hasn't been one in a while. Keep Razzo on the defensive...
  • > Ratzinger has also attacked rock music, calling it > "the expression of basic passions." Does that mean it's over for Christian rock?!?
  • Well, I just hope this guy stays on longer than the last one did. I know some people think he's a bit young for the role, but I think he's a really interesting and extremely talented choice, and he was superb in Casanova.
  • oops shit sorry wrong thread
  • >>Pope Bendy Dick i believe he was *before* pope sergius IV and *after* pope silvester III, correct?
  • I was hoping for another Warrior Pope. Or even better, an ULTIMATE WARRIOR POPE! Huge helpings of bananas to the first monkey to buy ultimatewarriorpope.com and make with the parody site. Plus you'll be my hero forever and probably get threatened with a lawsuit/beatdown by Mr. Warrior himself. It's a win-win!
  • lol @ flashboy
  • flashboy, that is an absolutely hilarious comment in context of this thread. *still laughing*
  • "Hey Rat, show 'em how you can stand up undah water" /Damone
  • Oh well, it's not like it really matters who happens to be the pope.
  • Anyone old enough to remember the old Not the Nine O'Clock News sketch about the "Stunt Pope"?
  • interesting pope factoids: * The reign of Pope Nicholas I (858-867) was called a "pornarchy" * In the 58 years between 897 and 955, there were 17 popes
  • Adrian VI was Dutch, not German. Just sayin'.
  • Well, I guess there's no chance of Benedict XVI spicing things up a la John XII, is there? Pope Bendy Dick? He can't hear you, he's in Rome! = coffee shoots out of my nose
  • Ratzinger has also attacked rock music, calling it "the expression of basic passions." Well...it is, isn't it? That's why I like it.
  • I'm sure he just doesn't like the darn infernal racket of rock 'n roll. But isn't quidnunc the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla? He should give us special dispensation to allow that guitar signal to distort and distort majestically.
  • Who really cares? It's not like this retarded belief system is relevant. Except for the fact that there are more than a billion Catholics around the world, of course.
  • "Except for the fact that there are more than a billion Catholics around the world, of course." Oh, they're even more irrelevant.
  • At last, someone new for death metal bands to scowl at, and think themselves clever when they wish to see him "at the end of a rope." And they said he wasn't papible.
  • Quid, suck my papal cock.
  • I have issues with the Nazi stuff. For the record, my Catholic dad was also born in 1927, and he fought in the infantry in Italy in WWII, against Germans his age. Eventually, some 20 years later, he and my mother left the church because of what the church did not do to stem the tide of Nazi Germany. When I was a smallish monkey in the 70s my dad went to work for a German firm & we lived in Heidelburg for a while. I remember my dad getting drunk and shouting about his bosses, saying "It's amazing how many people were fucking silent protestors of Hitler! Just amazing! All these guys are my age, but they all swear they hated Hitler and weren't in the war. So who was?"
  • I wonder if every cardinal had their "pope name" all ready to go just in case they were chosen? Do you think they shared their names and squabbled over them, played rock/paper/scissors for potential name rights? Yes, these are the stupid things I think when I'm braindead at work. . .
  • I wonder if every cardinal had their "pope name" all ready to go just in case they were chosen?
    i'm sure the front runners had decided on a shortlist. the first j-p said he chose the name because he wanted to continue the work of john 23rd (big reformer) and paul 6th (big retrencher). i never understood that... j-p 2nd wanted to honor his immediate predecessor. from what i understand, the winner is presented to the world an hour after being elected, so you'd need to settle on a username quite quickly.
  • Ooh, what would your pope name be? I'd have to think long and hard on this one.
  • I voted Squidranch for pope. Unfortunately, I was using the double extra-secret ballot. It's so secret that no one in the Vatican is cleared to see it. Next time, Squid. Next time.
  • If Squiddy (or any Monkey) were pope, they'd *have* to honor the name of the 21st pope, St. Cornelius!
  • I would be Pope Soaponarope I.
  • I can genuflect to that.
  • My pope username would be Pope Peil Pocketfisherman I. Barring a papal appointment, I would settle for Bishop Bass-o-matic.
  • Every time I see "papal" I think "paypal."
  • I'd be Pope Kurt Russell II
  • Pope Led Zeppelin I. because Zeppelin rules.
  • Pope Sark I (inspired by a friend's comments on my blog, who wanted to be Pope Master Control Program. He eventually backed away from this idea and was vacillating between Master Control Pope and the more inflammatory Master Control Pogrom)
  • I was really hoping for Pope Lando II. What better way for the church to get back in touch with the world's youth than to resurrect a papal name that's also been used in Star Wars?
  • For those of you keeping score at home, Ratzinger has fulfilled the Prophecy of the Popes by picking the name Benedict XVI. ...Although, Lando would have also been an excellent choice seeing as Billy Dee Williams is a bit olive.
  • What did you oppose when you were five? Or fourteen? Quite a bit, actually, at both ages. Didn't you? As someone said above, at least he won't last long. That's really the only good thing that can be said about this. That and the fact that Catholics are far less relevant than they were even 40 years ago.
  • Clearly this new guy's got a harsh image, but he's been known to say something progressive now and again. Apparently he's spoken about the possibility of Catholicism becoming a small but devout subculture, like Orthodox Judaism or the Amish. Which, like any good secular, I am all for. I am basing this statement entirely on this article by the infamous pseudonymous columnist, Spengler.
  • When John Paul became Pope (or rather more accurately, when Emilia Kaczorowska Wojtyla became John Paul), it did a lot for my predecessors on my mother's side. Anti-Polish discrimination -- of a kind I find it difficult to imagine -- was still rampant in Canada and elsewhere. His ascension to the position of Pope helped that group's status and helped put an end to that particular strain of racism. Now I've known many Germans and have observed the particularly twisted self-image they've grown up with. We've talked about how it would be nice if Germany became the best at something, had a great new scientist, a great new invention, something to raise it's self-respect a much-needed notch. Pope wouldn't have been my choice, but maybe there will be some positive fallout from this after all.
  • "Pope Bendy Dick" I laughed till I farted.
  • shut up people. he's no longer ratzinger. he's the pope. he just magically became infallible (even if he happens to disagree with the infallible popes of old). i wonder if 'an infallible' pisses sitting down?
  • Pope Sitzpinkler I? (not II for obvious reasons)
  • He has since said that although he was opposed to the Nazi regime, any open resistance would have been futile Ouch. That's a nasty cross-consideration. Let's hope for a little new national pride and not national ignorance.
  • I thought resistance is only futile against the Vogon battle fleet.
  • Well, I thought it was against the Borg. Borg, Catholicism, Catholicism, Borg... Hard to tell them apart.
  • BTW, is it just me, or does Ratzinger remind you of Dick Cheney? Hard right wingers, both of them were helping their party/religion to pick a leader and both of them ended up in the job they were trying to fill.
  • Oh, aieesh. Just catching up. Unknown to many members of the church, Ratzinger's past includes brief membership of the Hitler Youth movement and wartime service with a German army anti-aircraft unit. That's... not exactly silent dissent. That's not exactly any kind of dissent.
  • Exactly how private is a 'private audience' with the Pope? Anyone?
  • The catholic church is at a point where more and more people are leaving because they no longer feel that it's teachings and policies are relevant or even acceptable. By appointing a progressive, liberal candidate they might have been able to bring a lot of those people back into the fold and stem the flow of those leaving the faith. Seems to be a perfectly missed opportunity. Disappointing.
  • Exactly how private is a 'private audience' with the Pope? Anyone? I'll have to ask my sister. She had two of private audiences with the previous pope. I think it's just 15 people or so. Not a one-on-one meeting, that I'm pretty sure of.
  • Is it possible to impeach a Pope? Sheer curiosity.
  • No, but it is possible to poach a peach. With a nice vanilla ice cream, delicious.
  • Borg, Catholicism, Catholicism, Borg... Hard to tell them apart. Maybe you're thinking about the Mormons? On an even less relevant, but still food related, note: In spanish, El Pápa means The Pope, whilst el papa means the potato.
  • Pope Sitzpinkler I? (not II for obvious reasons) So chimaera, the "Pope Joan" legend doesn't work for you?
  • On a non-food but beverage related and highly irrelevant note, Antipope Benedict XIII spent the final years of his life in Peniscola.
  • Pope in the John I
  • Is it possible to impeach a Pope? I'd love to ask the cardinals exactly how far they'd follow him and get an honest answer.
  • BTW, is it just me, or does Ratzinger remind you of Dick Cheney? More like this guy.
  • what would your pope name be?
    i'd want pope achu blessu tanku, and i'd insist that the correct pronunciation requires people to turn their heads from one side to the other for each part. then i'd sit in the vatican tv room and watch catholic tv newscasts all day.
  • quid, suck my papal cock *cries, begs forgiveness*
  • i love this thread! it's hilarious.
  • Monkeyfilter: Suck My Papal Cock [until you get] Peniscola.
  • Well, for a guy who is totally against moral relativity in all forms, he sure is quite relatavistic when it comes to his support of the Nazis. I wonder what Sophie Scholl of the White Rose would have to say about this. That is, if she were still alive.
  • TP: The Florida man mentioned in that article is MetaFilter's own rcade. MeFi thread here.
  • Pope Godwin.
  • I'm suprised JC hasn't weighed in on this thread.
  • I am not in favor of a pope at all. I would prefer to see the current structure of the church torn down. It's not like I have not done it before.
  • Spooky: Close. The difference isn't in the accent, but the gender: "el Papa" = "the Pope," but "la papa" = "the potato." This became important in an often-retold story (one I can't seem to verify, unfortunately) about a papal visit to Miami. Supposedly, some enterprising T-shirt maker printed up shirts to sell to the Hispanic crowd, but instead of saying "YO VI EL PAPA" ("I saw the pope"), they said "YO VI LA PAPA" ("I saw the potato").
  • Hi, PatB!!!
  • I don't go to MetaFilter. It's smelly there. :)
  • I say we elect Quidnunc as an Anti-Pope. Hasn't been one in a while. Keep Razzo on the defensive... Not an anti-pope. A CHAOS POPE! He deserted the nazi army. It took him a while to work up the courage, but he would've been shot if he was caught. So please don't harp on the nazi thing any more without at least acknowledging this. I'm disappointed for other reasons. Is he still preaching in Latin? Didn't Paul sort that out 2000 years ago when the Corinthian priests were preaching in tongues and no one knew what the fuck they were saying?
  • Do we really want a deserter as pope? I mean if you're going to join something, commit, for Christ's sake.
  • he works fast. he's also already manifested in toast.
  • I feel a disturbance in the farce.
  • Apparently Maureen Dowd feels the same way that I do. New York Times link, registration required
  • I think that as far as Benedict's anti-gay edicts are concerned, there may be a little self-hating. The Dorothy-esque evidence (emphasis mine)... Since he appeared on the main balcony of St. Peter's... he has worn red slippers - John Paul always wore brown leather shoes.
  • My new pope name: Pope P.P. Who's down with Pope P.P.? Yeah, you know me.
  • the_bone, heavenly father says you have to take a lap.
  • Apparently, he didn't want the gig.
  • I am frightened at the prospect of a chaos pope. Instead let's have a Maypole Pope we can all dance around.
  • Soda Pope.
  • so i saw this headline from abc news:
    Pope Blesses Throngs in John Paul's Stead
    and of course i read thongs.
  • I bless thongs all the time - what about it? Oh right - the pope.
  • I wonder if Ratzinger will do cool Pope things like preside over performances by breakdancers.
  • Sacre Bleu!
  • Satan no match for God, says pope Stay tuned for more insanely relevant hard-hitting news on PNN . . . All Pope . . . All the time.
  • The Pope wears Prada shoes, decrees that wearing white after Labor Day is now a Deadly Sin.
  • Oops! Who knew the world's touchy Muslims would be listening to the Pope?
  • At least he didn't put Allah cartoons in the church bulletin. Then he'd have gone too far.
  • And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the deal that he'd be dead by now? I thought we were in for a double-feature...
  • "Hey. You're evil and inhuman. No offence."
  • "None taken. Peace be with you." *Pope hand-wavy-thing*
  • Would have made more sense if I put in an explanatory linky-link.
  • My only hope is that this somehow results in POPE WRESTLING. Yes, the ancient sport of Kings now LIVE! On Cable Pay Per View!
  • *waits for the College of Cardinals to issue a fatwa* *or a thinwa - I'm not too choosy*
  • I would buy that pay-per-view. Especially if there were pudding involved.
  • Trouble a-brewin' Employees of the state body that organizes Muslim worship in Turkey asked the authorities on Tuesday to open legal proceedings against Pope Benedict and to arrest him when he visits the country in November.
  • Pope on a rope!
  • Pope to Muslim Envoys: "Come Chill at the Crib" The pontiff will open the doors of his summer residence, Castel Gandolfo, to the ambassadors and members of the Italian Islam Consulta, according to ANSA, an Italian news agency. The Islam Cosulta is a council of the various Muslim community leaders in Italy who meet periodically with Italian government officials. "The purpose of this meeting is to relaunch dialogue with the Islamic world," a senior Vatican official said on Friday. excellent pic & caption, btw.
  • Pope Benedict said Sunday he was "deeply sorry" about the reaction. Aah, the ol' "I'm sorry you got upset" non-apology. Used it many times myself...
  • This never would've happened if quid was pope.
  • If quid was Pope, I'd convert in a heartbeat.
  • *cue if quid were pope poetry flood*
  • If quid were Pope I'd swing the censor I'd ring the dingly bells He's fetid by Intelligentsia For all his dingly smells
  • Quite soon, I hope They'll choose a pope And quidnunc kid will win He would decree Corpse-buggery No longer is a sin
  • I'd be rebaptized, And go to the font, if The white smoke would tell us That Quid was the Pontiff.
  • These things would not happen if quid were Pope cartoons and speech ignite the cause of hate, men would lay down arms, live in peace and hope. How can we live in peace? How can we cope with the tyranny of such knee-jerk bait? (These things would not happen if quid were Pope.) But for German Shepherds or Danish dopes, tranquility's coming would not be late. Men would lay down arms. "Live in peace and hope," I say, "embrace the quid." But others say "Nope, the world is on fire, that is its fate." These things would not happen if quid were Pope. Things seem bad, that we're even on the ropes of intolerance and war's heavy weight... Men would lay down arms, live in peace and hope if quid were in charge. But let us not mope -- for Ratzinger's death, we've not long to wait. These things would not happen if quid were Pope. Men would lay down arms, live in peace and hope.
  • across the sea ad hockery a mockery myope i do for you you do for me we'll call it Quid pro Pope
  • ))) to all! Inspiredly dashed off!
  • I'm a sucker for a good villanelle.
  • I know this is really disrespectful, considering he is the religious leader of millions of Catholics -- but do you think the Pope blues his hair? Because it's a really nice white colour, matching his vestments.
  • I wondered today whether he has his own makeup artist, given his smooth-looking skin in the photo in today's paper. How does a man whose life is devoted to God spare the time for manicures and dye jobs?
  • ))) to the Captain!!!
  • > How does a man whose life is devoted to God spare the time for manicures and dye jobs? i'd reckon he has platoons of lackeys, including make-up and hair arrangement. this is one of the reasons quid wants the job.
  • Prayer for a Papal Makeup Artist Dear Lord, Steady the hand of your servant and grant his eyes the gift of color, that he may render your Vicar on earth as beautiful in the unworthy eyes of man as in your own. Guide my powder brush, for the light of man’s camera is harsher than the light of the Father’s love. Grant that his hair may be as snow-white as the garments of the sinner who is washed in the blood of the :Lamb.
  • Althought it's not widely known and the subject of some debate among biblical scholars; Jesus' hairstylist? Total bitch.
  • *meditates on the Buddha's hairstyle* *concludes he wore a mullet*
  • ))) to the Captain!!! posted by beeswacky at 05:50AM UTC on September 23, 2006 High praise from the Simian Laureate! Thank you, sir!
  • Best Futurama line ever: "Yeah, my parents were always after me to groom myself and wear underpants and stuff. Like, what AM I, the Pope?!?"
  • Is that cause he shits in the woods?
  • Cool! I'll get the popcorn . . .
  • Fr. Dougal: The Pope? Ahh yes - that old fella that lives in an art gallery...
  • One of my favorite Fr. Dougal lines of all time.
  • bobboggis: That blew me away.
  • Get your tickets now, to tour the birthplace of Papa Ratzi. I wonder what a quidpope beer would have tasted like. (No doubt, it'd be a Bitter.)
  • Mmmmm the quidbeer keg.
  • Papa Ratzi may visit Northern Ireland. Something about 'fuel' and 'fire' -- I forget.
  • Why would they have a problem with th- Ohhhh. Right.
  • Cage match with Paisley! I hope it's not pay-per-view!
  • ... although I would actually pay to see that.
  • POPEFIGHT!!!
  • I guess you could call it a Pon tiff.
  • Oh TUM.
  • Cat-loving Pope urged to stop wearing fur. Just one word-substitution, and you have a completely different news story.
  • Pope-loving cat urged to stop wearing mitre?
  • Fur-wearing Pope urged to stop loving cat?
  • Urge-loving Pope to stop furring cats?
  • Cat-loving dogs urged to stop wearing fur?
  • Cat (loving Pope) urged to stop wearing fur?
  • Cat-loving Pope urged to stop wearing condoms?
  • Cunt-loving Pope urged to stop wearing fur?
  • Cat-loving Pope urged to stop protecting pedophile priests?
  • Cattle-loving Pope urged to stop wearing leather?
  • Pope-loving cat urged to stop wearing fur.
  • "Just one word-substitution, and you have a completely different news story".
  • Pope condemns "Power Of Love"? this fun game will never end!!
  • Pope condemmed to powerful love of money.
  • Love condemns Pope of money, power?
  • Pope Condoms: The Power of Love.
  • Pope condemns lack of money, power. (?) Pope admits love of money, power. (!) Pope condemns love of "Monkey-Power".
  • TTFTW
  • Pope of money and power condemns love.
  • Pope Envoys Welcomed Men of Porno?
  • Way to go, Pope. Sure, I can understand reinstating them into the Church, with NO OFFICIAL FUSS, but why didn't his Popeness make some kind of a statement about how WRONG they were in their opinions?
  • The Vatican is now teaching us that hiding sins is good, exposing them is bad, but if you get discovered, you just have to apologise and everything is fine. Just like politics.
  • Well, guess the Catholic church DOES approve of molesting. Suffer. All the little children that come unto me. And they brought young children to [the priest], that they should touch them... Guess the original punctuation and interpretation was in error. Oh, yeah, the pope is an asshole. Not much respect here for the Vatican.
  • It's so obvious, but celibacy doesn't work.
  • I've always wondered what the Catholic church has to say about this: 1 Tim 4: 1 But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, 2 by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron, 3 men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.