March 04, 2005

• Jesus fuck!
• Bloody hell!!
• ...mauled his foot off.
• The couple had brought Moe a cake... ...would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. "Everybody was trying to get the chimp off..." Comedy goldmine! Except maybe for the poor guy who lost his nose.
• I could see this happening at my office, when there's not enough cake for everyone.
• That has to be the worst birthday party ever. How tragic for the people and chimps, injury and death. Feel the monkey love?
• I can't get over this. The intentions were wonderful - cake, love for animals, celebration of life - and it ended in blood, death, mutilation and carnage. The cake was pretty shitty too.
• More info on injuries sustained at CNN.
• That's just horrible! I feel really awful now, thanks for sharing it :P I never knew that chimps could be so violent towards humans.
• *links to thread as reason enough to read comments before the articles*
• Sweet mother of mercy! I had no idea they could be so violent.
• The CNN article also mentions that his testicles were severed as well. Needless to say, chimps can be very, very dangerous animals, not to be messed with.
• This is Disney doesn't tell you about anthropomorphism.
• lol...that's what happens when you pretend that you can keep an animal in a cage, forever, and expect it to be all docile and lovable. IMO, animals in cages accross the globe are carefully planning the destruction of humans, one finger at the time...HAAHAHAH. I just want to hear the stories about poachers getting mauled by rhinos. Or getting kicked by giraffes. Now that's cool.
• I'm sort of puzzled about this comment on the son-in-law; "He saw what was happening and had one kind of weapon with him and then got another he felt would be more substantial and shot them," Huh? What was the first weapen, a ball peen hammer? If it was another gun, why didn't he just use it? It sounds like he panicked & took off. (Not that I blame him...)
• I sent a link to the USA article to Russell Bank's agent. The worst part about _The Darling_, by the way, was the moralizing, depressing, right-wing-agenda ending.
• His testicles and a foot also were severed, I cant believe "severed testicles" wasnt the first injury mentioned!!
• That's one foot, two testicles and a nose. Housing a monkey used to just cost an arm and a leg.
• I used to have two testicles and a foot, but now I use the metric system.
• Every time I do any research on primate behavior, it's always the chimpanzees that are the most violent. They raid nearby chimp communities (tribes?), killing off many, and often for no apparent reason. After all, we share 99% of our DNA with 'em.
• Exactly chimera. the males of a troop (is that the correct collective noun) go out on raids, simply to guard/monitor their territory, and beat, maim, and/or kill and trespassing chimp. One documentary I saw had like 8-10 chimps gang-style stomping, ripping, thumping, biting, the crap out of straggler. Fucking brutal, those chimps. I wonder is St.whatshishface wasn't eyeing a female the attackers had a fondness for.
• Update apparently Mr St. James is at fault. Sorry but not sure how to create a link: http://www.nbc4.tv/news/4254994/detail.html
• That's a good point, Garfield. The story mentions that two female chimps were loose, too. They were all in a new situation, without the boundries that their pen would've provided. Maybe the male chimps saw the poor guy as threat to the ladies of the troop. Still, tearing a guy's nuts off is overreacting...
• (Realizing this poor fellow is still alive) I often ponder, when seeing stories like this. the one-sentence description of death that must go into some cosmic ledger somewhere, and what people would think of their own demise were they around to read about it. "Torn apart by chimpanzees" is less embarrassing than, say, "broke neck while self-fellating", but a good bit more violent.
• Here's some video footage of what the poor guy may have been through (it's chimp on chimp violence, still scary). For more info about chimps going ape and severing testicles, google for Richard Wrangham, author of the Demonic Male Hypothesis.
• Alright Mr Wrangham, then how do you explain those sexy nsfw bonobos?
• Thanks Bobsled. I feel some sympathy for Moe. After being orphaned (was his mother killed by a hunter?) and spending 30 apparently uneventful years with his adoptive parents, a police officer sticks her finger in his cage and gets the tip bitten off, so he's sent away to a station where they can only make 15-minute visits until those are stopped by law. Then he's moved to a new place where his seemingly doting owners are attacked by some young hoodlums outside his cage while he's still eating birthday cake. The part about those chimp teens possibly having a vendetta against the couple is interesting though. I hope they make this into a movie.
• Bobsled, unless I'm reading it wrong, the (non)linked article does not specify that Mr. St. James is at fault for the attack. It just hypothesizes that it must be "personal" for some reason. That's a big world of difference. That being said, I wonder if it was done out of envy. The orphan kid next door gets regular visitors, some affection, and cake, while the two teen chimps get nothing. Human teens have attacked for less then that.
• Personal attack, indeed. I was reminded of the story about the male chimps on the "Lancelot Link" show that had all been castrated. The chimp that played Lance held a grudge against the vet that did the operation and later attacked him and bit a hole in his back. I probably would have too.
• Alright Mr Wrangham, then how do you explain those sexy nsfw bonobos? According to Wrangham, bonobos are characterised by female-bonded political structures solidified by female/female sexual contact. Looks fine to me, perhaps we should try that.
• LarimdaME, I stand corrected.