February 23, 2005
Calling creative minds!
Boss turns 40 tomorrow, and admin asked me to create a list of "appointments" that she could post to his electronic calendar. I need some creative ideas to add to my short list... note, boss has good sense of humor (not easily offended), but he *is* the fella who pays us.
Monkeys?
Ack... sorry, I omitted the "Curious George" part. Must get more coffee.
hmm. the obvious: life insurance update, consultation with lawyer re: will, and proctologist exam. appointment to pick up his new red Miata convertable?
you could add a lunch date with G. Reaper?
Colonic irrigation.
Tax man
'Executive relief' with Urma de la Touche (lunchtime)
electrolysis for nose and ear hair.
10.41am: Put left foot in.
10.42am: Take left foot out.
10.43am: Put left foot in.
10.44am: Shake it all about.
11:05 am: Call Hair Care Club for Men.
-Hair replacement surgery
-Prostate exam
-Memorial service for libido
4:00 pm - Leave work early to shop for new walking cane and hearing aids.
-Shop for replacement sock garters
-Hitch pants up to nipples
-Tell damn kids to get off my lawn
-Cut up Nerf footballs in backyard
-Ask random women if they are Mommy
To do:
Buy presents for [insert staff names]
Buy dog for [insert kid's or SO's name]
2.00pm-2.47pm: fire everyone younger than you.
2.48pm: call Carl in Accounts, tell him you are "the youngest stud in the office".
casket shopping
10am - Metamucil
11:57 -- Worship at shrine to William Shatner's virility, chant "Denny Crane" repeatedly.
2:30 - Go to the dentist. (Get it?)
3:30 - Apologize to that woman from the other table last night.
8:00pm - Bowling with Jesus
umm..
-buy new house/look into real estate on far side of hill.
3.30 - begin slow, inevitable, soul-destroying downhill slide into the grave.
4.00 - BUY A HARLEY AND A LEATHER JACKET!!! YOU'RE STILL YOUNG!!! YOU'LL LOOK COOL!
some of these had me near a spit-take-- and half of the office is now signing up on the filter. thanks much. (and sexy, darlin', i'm not even 35 yet... and i have reservations at D'Amico Cucina at 6pm. Fly in and I'll give you the tour.)
petebest, I get it... uggghhhhh, bad
6PM- take cialis
10PM- call doctor...
2:45 -- Begin affair with woman who looks like wife used to twenty years ago.
3:00 -- Call attorney.
3:30 -- Freeze assets.
Return call: Mr Lyon (insert number of local zoo)
I know - old, tired, but fun to watch.
2:00 Become a Republican.
10:15 Bill Harris with IRS Criminal Investigations Division
"... oh, and your accountant called, he's fled the country and wanted to apologize for the 'situation' ..."
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