January 26, 2004
Your doggie needs a business card.
We, surely, need monkey business cards. No?
...to include your dog’s name, photograph, hobbies, hometown or breed.
The dogs doing what now?
Does this involve night-classes? Special equipment? Symbolic thought?
Sorry, how many memos have I missed?
Playing poker, I s'pose.
"drawings for angry monkey business cards and corporate identity"
Say, isn't it a new minute? Wasn't a sucker just born?
I think this is intended for that market of people who have confused the notion of "pet" with the concept of "child." Then again, people who have dogs and think their dogs have hobbies probably should stick to having dogs and not kids. (Ouch! Maybe I haven't had enough caffeine today.)
Or else they are brag cards for show dogs, touting their latest wins.
And yes forky, some people cannot spend enough on their pets. <end rant>
chasing a tennis ball, sleeping on the couch/favorite chair, barking at the postal worker, chewing on sticks - I dunno those sound like dog hobbies to me. Not that they need to advertise. This sounds a little like a Jean Teasdale venture . .
but ambrosia!
>>Trade ‘Em!
Just like sports cards, PawCards are fun to exchange with other PawCard holders. Display your collection of cards on the bulletin board at work or tape them on your refrigerator.
Order a carton.
Wallpawper your collie's doghouse.
Yes, SideDish, but nobody would want to trade PawCards with me! The dog is too scary-looking, and he seems not to photograph well either.
[Oh, and hobbies? Let's see: stalking the doberman next door, opening the kitchen cabinets to help himself to his kibble when no one is home (and remembering to close the cabinet when he's done), being too smart to play fetch ("why do you keep throwing it away if you want it? I'll go get it for you once, but if you want it, why throw it away? I don't understand you.") and sleeping a lot.]
hmmph.
Business cards? This is my business card... (poops on foot) ...and that's my hobbie too. (/Triumph)
Bah! None of these are hobbies. Doberman-stalking, tennis-ball chasing, sleeping - this is work, y'understand, these things are a vocation...
my collie Skye
tried to herd
the first cricket
to make it into my bedroom
this season
it stridulated nonstop
right up to the point
the dog opened her jaws
and engulfed it
I made a choked sound
and Skye opened her mouth
the cricket scuttled off
rapidly
diving underneath
the door
of my closet
where it is now
making just as much noise
as before
but I am appalled to see
a small hind leg -
far too thick to be
a collie's whisker -
hanging from Skye's
fringed black lips
Glenfillan Sheepdog Trials
Brendan Galvin
Once it took the field
we forgot its ripsaw profile
and the tail barely a rope fray,
no rudder, and the whole
satchel-with-legs look of it
alongside the Sampsons
and Delilahs of the breed.
Locked in its work trance,
mind over sheep-fuddle,
streaking out low it collected
and bullied them as though
they were stray thoughts
of the shepherd who stood,
cap over brow, canny,
whistling his dog through all
the right moves: when
to charge, lie low, display
just the exact hint of threat
to back that big ewe down,
then go neat-footed, closing
the distance, adjusting
the angle, black-and-white
verb to the flock's blackfooted
milling. How long after these canids
willingly approached our fires
did it take for some magus
to train one up to these workaday
marathons, this serious play
that involves everything from
pick-up-sticks to a log-roller's
quickstep over the backs
of Charolais built like a herd
of tractors? Now it has queued
the flock up at the second gate,
walked them through it and home
again to that foxy whistler
who's swapped his Wellingtons
for soft Italian loafers today.
The dog cuts two out of the flock,
melds them in again, heads them
toward the pen while a beauty
without vanity shimmers unaware
of itself over the rough field,
shivers the spine as—applause
like a smattering of stock doves
flying—the white gate closes.
Satchel-dog?
*stares reproachfully at the elderly dachshund*
« Older The great escalator | spam, spam, spam, spam. Newer »
To post comments to a thread you must login or create a profile.
