December 25, 2004

• Merry Christmas! You are never alone if you are in someone's thoughts. You already know that you are in your family's thoughts, and now you know that you are in the thoughts of the MoFi family as well!
• You will have a kick-ass time tomorrow night. For now, enjoy the peace, have a glass of your favorite beverage, turn off the lights, lay down, and listen to one of your favorite cds.
• I was just visiting a friend of mine in hospital tonight who's family all live out of town. I'm the only one to visit him so far and quite possibly the only one who will visit him this Christmas. With any luck, he'll be out tomorrow, but he might be in until Sunday or Monday. So, be thankful you have your health and aren't stuck in a boring, sterile hospital with no one to visit you.
• Be nice to yourself, take a hot bath and fix yourself a drink, maybe eat some chocolate or something. If you know anyone else who might not have plans (like a friend in another town), call them and chat for a while. Watch a sappy movie. Make a mix tape. Re-read a favorite book. Go for a walk outside and look at the decorations. Play with a cat. Crank the music up loud and dance around the room. Talk to your friends on MoFi. Feel better.
• We all love you, MusingMelpomene! You're not alone -- you're in every Monkey's thoughts tonight...why, you're the richest person in Bedford Falls! Hang in there, kiddo...
• Hey MM, you can see that there's lots of us thinking of you. Even jesus christ took time out from celbrating His birthday to send good wishes. Stay good.
• I'm sorry you're on your own. This can be such a depressing time of year. But you have a family who cares enough to think of you and call. You have two wonderful cats to whom you have given the gift of a second chance. Your parents will be with you in less than 24 hours. Make yourself a drink (be it a cocktail or a cuppa tea), eat something chocolate, put on some music or watch a movie, play with those kitties. It's alright to be by yourself on Christmas Eve. Just know that other people are thinking of you. I've been going it alone for years and Jesus has never once stopped by to wish me well! Hope it passess quickly for you. Visions of sugar plums and all that...
• One way to feel better is to go out and find someone who's in need (not necessarily of money) and help out the best way you can. Everyone gets to feel the same way you do at some point in their lives. It sucks, it's true. It's like a black hole. But although it may seem like a deep one, it's surprising how easy you can fill it, if you start with other people.
• Christmas means nothing. It is a meaningless symbolic ritual, which, as you have unconsciously noted, only amounts to a reason for family & friends to get together. Do not be afraid to face loneliness. It is the essence of humanity. Embrace it. Master it. Overcome the feelings of fear, depression, et al. Tell yourself that there is no difference between being alone in a dreary room, or being in the midst of a throng; a crowded hall. Because there *is* no difference. You are the master of your emotions. You are the master of your perceptions. 'Christmas' is just an idea; a concept. It means nothing, in reality. If you can stand to be alone on any other day, then you can stand to be alone now. Similarly, if you do not feel the warmth of companionship on, say, June 12th or August 11th with a bunch of friends, whoever - then Christmas is just a hypnotist's trick. It means something only because you have been taught to believe it does. We are all alone. That is the essence of our nature. Our seeking out for contact, for emotional feedback, for *something* from out there - that is what marks the human as unique. Say not that you are alone on Christmas, say that there is one day of the year where you get to be yourself - & the rest of the year you will reach out, surround yourself with humanity, & every day will be your holiday. Peace.
• You are your state of mind. Remember that these seasonal festivals are about life, and what it has to offer. Enjoy the quiet and solitude, and please yourself. Take joy in the cleaning you are doing, as it reflects the care that you have for your parents. I am still at work, preparing for Boxing Day, if that helps. I sent all the staff home a couple of hours ago, to enjoy the evening with their families, and now I am just fine-tuning everything. The LAST thing that I will do before I go out the door in about 10 minutes is clean this place up, so that when everyone shows up for work on Boxing Day, it will all be done. This time of mine is the best present that I could offer them, and it makes me feel good to do it. So, find value it your circumstance, and extract every iota of pleasure and happiness from that. The certain knowledge that others will benefit from your efforts now can be where you find the most joy; if you will allow that to happen.
• Christmas means nothing. and leave it up to Nostrildamus to be the coldy rational one. Well done.
• Pretend you're Jewish. Go get some chinese food and go see a movie.
• you're not the only one, MusingMelpomene, i've recently found out that i'm going to be alone on new years, so we're in somewhat of the same boat. but tip for surviving lonely nights like these: drive out to your favorite restraunt/fast food place and treat yourself to your favorite food there. then drive to a nice bookstore or something of the sort (i prefer borders) and just browse for an interesting book or new cd. surprisingly, that killed a lot of time one night when i was left out of my friends' plans at the last minute. hope you feel better!
• Hey I've been there so I feel your pain. I spent more than one Thanksgiving by myself and "celebrating" utterly alone at a local Subway. But for me, as I'm sure will also be true for you at some later point, the constant changing nature of life brought me to a place 180 degrees from the lonliness and despair you're now feeling. And as others have pointed out, you are part of a community here of many smart and caring people-yeah, strangers in the sense you've never phsically met them, but I'm sure a large proportion of the monkeys here would make great friends in "real life" if we knew you on a daily basis. When we open presents as a family tomorrow, we will mention, as we do every year, those who aren't fortunate enough to be sharing family togetherness and holiday joy and I will think of you and try to throw some positive vibes in your direction. Happy Holidays anyway!
• Nostrildamus: Thank you. Seriously.
• Yeah Nostrildamus, that was deep. Seriously
• The really awesome part is that I have no car and the public transit doesn't run on christmas eve (or after 6 PM ever) so I can't do many of the things listed above. Man. And nostrildamus, I can't trust someone who drunk posts to tell me the real meaning of christmas.
• Christmas means nothing. It is a meaningless symbolic ritual ... Yes, trust Nostril to f*ck with the cheerful Christmas spirit. Metafilter: I can't trust someone who drunk posts to tell me the real meaning of christmas. Hey, Mel. Have a buncha bananas gift wrapped and chocolate dipped. Low cal, even! Tuck up early in bed with the kitties and play the count your blessings game. A clean place to live, a warm bed, 2 lil'buddies, food in the fridge, and company tomorrow, etc. etc. After having surgery Monday and overdoing it all week, I'd have rather stayed home tonight instead of doing the traditional Christmas Eve mega-family get-together that ALWAYS lasts too long, except for the fact that any excuse except DEATH isn't enough. (and you better be damn dead!) So you see, some of us envy you your time to spend peacefully. It's ok. Sleep well. Have a wonderful Christmas. Yours, GramMa
• Holidays just don't do it for me - and I'm always amazed at friends who feel bad that I'm not feeling bad, well-intended as they may be. They would feel bad if they were alone on a holiday, and so I must feel bad. You can tell them 500 times, that no, you really don't need or want to be around throngs of people celebrating a religious holiday and/or a family present-fest when you are neither Christian nor a family member or interested in being either. But then, of course, they decide you're just covering up - because that's what they would do. Again with the projection - drives me goddamn crazy. In any case, may all monkeys get whatever kind of Christmas experience they enjoy. Yay!
• The kitties have now gotten their gifts and are happily playing with them. Awwwww. *must...hold back...maternal instincts...for a few more years*
• You cleaned your house!? Already you're ahead of the game for New Years, musingmelpomene!
• Merry X-mas, musingmel (and everyone too).
• Thanks, Nostrildamus. That was beautifully stated.
• Here, take your pick of any of these low-cholesterol holiday beverages]=( Best accompanied by this little ditty via and from mefi.
• I've got it worse. I've got to *gulp* spend new year with my grandparents.
• Larry, the Christmas Emu
• Late to the party, but I have to say, Nostrildamus, that was beautiful. Thank you.
• Truth is beauty, Nostril.
• Pretend you are one of those large wave surfers out in Hawaii who gets knocked under and has to ride out the experience of being in a human washing machine, The difference being you just have to ride out the Christmas experience Ho Ho Hee..... this too will pass and before you know it is the 4th of July and the damn fireworks won't let you sleep.
• what jesus said.
• Liquor and Elvis Costello. Sing along.
• Nostril, of all the Mofites, I wish you the merriest of Christmases. Seriously. Peace.
• I've got it worse. I've got to *gulp* spend new year with my grandparents. posted by Blaise Bailey Finnegan Get off it you little twerp! Bet your grandparents are dreading spending New Years with you, too, you young whippersnapper. If you're smart, you'll ask them some questions about how it was in the "old days" or explore their life experiences. Betcha everyone here over thirty wishes they'd sat down with an older relative they've lost and asked questions when they had the chance.
• Have I reminded anyone recently that I am deeply in love with Nostrildamus? It's true.
• I have to agree with Blue Horse, Blaise Bailey Finnegan. The oldsters in my family (the two eldest of whom will be 99 years old next year) are full of stories and observances, most of which completely startled me when I started asking questions. They remember what a house, and a loaf of bread, and a refrigerator cost. They remember how young they were when they started working, and the kind of work they had to do. They remember what their friends did for birth control (they might even say what they did; my grandma told me all about her 1920's abortion). They know where their grandparents lived and how they traveled. I don't know how to say it. I love this stuff, and grandparents are full of stories.
• Aye, I was only kidding. I love my olds, me. I just wish my gran's bowel movements didn't have the ability to kill a horse at fifty paces.
• Happy Boxing Day musingmelpomene! Better late than never.
• I'm late (have been away from home), but I'll be alone for the holidays next year. So thank you all; I'll keep all of this in mind too.
• Wurwilf - when you can't get to your "home" for the holidays, it really works if you can set up your own traditions. A lot of people are in that boat, and you probably are friends with some who would love to create a new family feeling. Kinda make your residence your new home? When my daughter was 2 or so, and I couldn't always go to my parent's for Christmas, I started buying a few special ornaments each year so that our really small tree was "ours." That's extended over the 30 plus years since then to include special recipies (while we were living several thousand miles from that "home") that my folks wouldn't take to. It got to the point that our traditions were more satisfying than the old ones were. When my daughter moved out on her own, she and her friends came up with new traditions that were even better for them. The community they found was not just a substitute for the really old "we have to fix dinner for 30 since all the generations will be there" - the emotional ties were lovely. Though, I have to say that I know how you feel. When I lived in Mexico, I had a Christmas meltdown, since it wasn't MY christmas. It's tough, but if I'd lasted there for more than one Christmas, I think I'd have been ok with combining the two traditions.